"I am not afraid of death, I am only afraid of death when there is no one around" wrote after Luo Weiying's death: How to avoid loneliness and death anxiety?

On August 3, 2020, entertainer Luo Weiying died at home at the age of 59. She did not live with her family, and a friend came to her door to inquire because she could not contact her.

Single, unmarried, childless, alone at home. Luo Weiying's departure, so that the issue of loneliness and death again surfaced on the table. The term "lonely death" originated in the Japanese word "lonely death", which refers to an event that has become a social problem in Japan since the deceased rarely interacted with the outside world and was discovered after a period of death.

Picture: Luo Weiying's personal facebook.

In the past, the public's imagination of the lonely death was mostly for the elderly who had been living alone. However, the modern life pattern is constantly changing, when many women began to choose not to marry, not to live, lonely death will only increase, even the future of some of us.

If being single is good, why am I anxious?

When a woman is not at the "marriageable age" to enter into marriage, establish a family, have children, often by the outside world or relatives and friends of concern. "Do you need to introduce you to the object?" "When will you get married?" "Don't you plan to have a baby yet?" Such a thing, even if the other person is really good-natured, it also puts a lot of pressure on women.

And once you admit that you do not intend to marry or have children, the other side may be surprised to return to you: "Then you are old, no one to accompany, no one to take care of, how to do?" 」

Originally it was able to casually stuff up the past problems, do not have to think too much about, but now, Luo Weiying's way of leaving, into a difficult to ignore the actual case, arouse some people's anxiety about single living alone.

In traditional social values, being single is atypical intimacy. Such atypical intimate practices also include cohabitation, extramarital sex, homosexuality, and so on, all of which have long been excluded from the mainstream valueof of heterosexual marriage.

"There is a difficult break between people's daily pluralandal, multi-dimensional intimate practice and single-arrangement system and cultural norms. This means that people who go beyond the rules have to be outside the law, negotiating on their own, to maintain an intimate life that meets their expectations. Chen Meihua, gender scholar.

So your anxiety may come from worrying about whether you made the wrong decision and shouldn't choose to celibacy? Is it a good direction to go into a marriage and a family like most people?

"Loneliness" is not mean, is a neutral word.

Singles have long been stigmatized, such as Loser, who means loser, and is directly used to borrow singles. Women did not marry, will be called as a defeat dog, even if the career has been successful Cai Yilin, the media often called her "golden leftover woman", as if as long as the woman is not married, is not on the right track.

It's good if a person finds a partner in life, and if a person doesn't get through it, that's good.

Marriage is not a guarantee of affection.

I'm not interested in getting married. I don't like people in quiet homes.

Now that I'm happy to be single, I call it "self-partnered".

Being single is never bad, so is loneliness. Although "Lonely Death" may sound scary, it is because the word "lonely" has always been created as a pathetic, bleak, lonely image.

Loneliness means that you have a long time, get to know yourself well, get along well with yourself. You have come to the world alone, and you must walk this journey of life alone.

You can do these things before you leave the world.

I remember having read a book before, and the heroine remembered her life when she was about to die. She was never afraid of death, but she was afraid that no one was around when she died.

Single life is not yet mainstream, people are still groping for trial; there is no standard answer to how to live well in old age. What we can do now is to put some forward-looking.

If you're worried that no one will find out after your death, you can:

• Call regulars every day to maintain an interactive relationship.
• Make good use of community or social networks to communicate with your left and right neighbors.

If you're worried about leaving a regret after your death, you can:

• Write a letter to yourself every year, sort out what you've done over the past year, and what you want to achieve in the coming year, and use your time consciously.
• Write an "class book" to the people you love every year (don't really give it), and even if the days go, words that are too late to say can be conveyed.

What's more, you know that every day of the future, you will live up to your life.

Death is natural, but also inevitable, if you want to go, let us say goodbye.