Former multinational leader Zou Kailian is seen as synonymous with success, let's take a look at how she thinks about success and herself!
In the first episode of "Telling Xuan Xuan", Zou Kailian Rose, former managing director of Verizon Media International Business, was invited to share with us some of life's secrets, secrets of success, and untold life stories.
Rose gave himself the keyword
Wei Xuan asked, "If you had to write down three keywords for yourself, how would you describe yourself?" This keyword is a fun thing to do, because Rose just told me that she is a very honest person who can face herself. Will your own imagination be the same as that of others?".
Rose smiled and added the English keywords, confidently revealing the answer in her hand. The first is sincere, the second is energetic, and the third is brave. For Rose, what she has always felt lucky about is always living like herself.
"I've made a lot of decisions in my life, deciding whether to or don't want to, and that criterion is not what other people think of me, but how I see me, and I care how I see me." When Rose said this, Wei Xuan couldn't help but echo forcefully. When you are weak, what is really sad is not who said anything to you, but that you lose confidence in yourself or feel disappointed.
So be sincere, it's important to be able to live like yourself. When it comes to energetic, Rose generously said that she is very energetic, and Wei Xuan immediately said that the first thing everyone feels when they meet Rose is that it is very much like the sun.
Photo | Zou Kailian Rose @ FB
And one of the most exaggerated descriptions she's ever heard is a man who worked with Rose at Yahoo, who said that when he made coffee in the pantry, Rose walked by like a gust of wind, bringing his own solar energy, making him feel a warm current. This warm force is constructive, not destructive.
"Actually, energetic is action-oriented, compared to when I see what I want to do and I should do, I will do it. That's definitely going to be about bravery. Because this matter is closely related." Rose said forcefully. Sometimes we feel like we should do what we want to do but don't do it because we may be afraid of what others say, or fear failure, etc.
So take that fear off, and you can also replace bravery with cheekiness. In fact, we all have moments of fear, absolutely not without, but to remove this thing, and everyone tries to make decisions in fear and uncertainty, the impact is the problem of probability.
How Rose sees herself
In the eyes of others, Rose is a person who is equated with success, "Then will there be more pressure at this time, that is, I Zou Kailian cannot fail, because I am synonymous with success." Wei Xuan looked at Rose curiously.
"Never, I've never had this kind of baggage!" Rose replied cheerfully that this kind of thing was a small burden for her. Because she always feels that she never stops, she has always lived herself as a verb, and she rarely thinks about what others think of her. When she thinks about how others see her, it is to help herself correct herself and make herself less influenced by others.
Wei Xuan quickly asked, "Because this matter is very difficult, I must help everyone and help myself, and I must ask whether this is a habit that you can have since you were a child?" Or have you ever failed because you've listened to some of other people's evaluations, so you know that this matter doesn't matter, or are you really born to be fearless?"
(Guess you want to see: Interview with Zou Kailian: Looking back at life one day, you will find how lucky you are)
Photo | Zou Kailian Rose @ FB
Rose believes that everyone's personality is different, her sexual orientation test is 100% extrovert, but Wei Xuan is 100% introverted, and many people may not know that Wei Xuan is so introverted. Being a 100% completely outgoing person gives Rose a lot of energy when meeting others, but doesn't care about what others say.
"How did you do it?" Wei Xuan clenched his fists excitedly, "I think that fearlessness is definitely accumulated little by little, in fact, it all starts from the smallest things. When we were young, you might wonder if you should raise your hand in class or not, and the teacher said who would like to help you or not, these are the little things."
"Then you'll find that you came forward and the results weren't bad." Or sometimes you feel so terrible, and that terrible and scary thought is often given by ourselves."
How Rose overcame her fears and set her face for success
Rose often trains herself, but it turns out that it's really not as hard as she thought. Most of the things you think are terrible, but not so terrible. Like driving, I used to feel very afraid of driving, driving in Taipei is too scary, she looked at the people around (sorry it's not very polite to say this), thinking to herself that they are smarter than me? I don't believe it.
Rose knew in her heart that she would not be dumber than them, why everyone on the road loves to drive, what to be afraid of, there is no reason! Therefore, she also told her daughter to believe in herself, if there are already 1 billion people in the world who have done something, you don't ask, just do it.
The other is that in the face of the unknown may feel that you can't do anything, you can't do it, then tell you what the worst will look like in the worst situation. In fact, honestly, if you think about the worst-case scenario, you will realize that there is nothing at all. What's great, it's a big deal to be laughed at twice.
After listening, Wei Xuan asked: "But it will be remembered for a lifetime, because once the film is filmed, we live broadcast, and we say the wrong thing, will it be ruined in this life." Rose responded angrily, "Then I'll tell you, unfortunately, no one cares. Nobody care about you. 」
"In fact, I often tell myself that even Biden can fall in front of the whole world, he will be the president of the United States tomorrow, why should I be afraid." And these news will have 1,000 funnier and more ridiculous things happening tomorrow than you, drowning this out, so don't care about liking or scolding you for the sake of people who don't know you."
Photo | Zou Kailian Rose @ FB
Wei Xuan took this opportunity to point out the situation of an era, that is, many people will want the like, tracking number, message, etc., which will actually have a psychological impact and pressure on many people. Now there is a data in the United States that shows that 70% of young people use social networking sites for a long time, so their personality building, or emotional stress index, is actually much higher than previous generations.
And one of the points shared through Rose is very related to a saying that Wei Xuan used to learn in the drama department, that is, we need to know that we are really very important, but we are actually not that important. If the balance of this matter can be grasped, you can bravely say yes to all that happens, and it will not happen so accidentally.
Rose smiled and said, "Yes, it will be really much easier, and then you will realize that it is these very worthless face problems that often stand in our way." I find that success is just a chance, because I probably give myself more opportunities than the average person."
Wei Xuan listened and exclaimed, in fact, everything is to try more, and more trials will increase the chance. Rose continued to share that success is whether you want to do a little more, whether you are willing to ask people again. Your team will tell you not to ask again, I will just say I will ask again.
Success is really a matter of chance, and when you are willing to try more and try more, you increase your chances of success. Success is a chance, success requires us to be curious, and success requires us to consciously practice something. We need to do more, try more, and know more about ourselves.
How Rose faced failure
Rose used to stutter a little and couldn't even speak English, especially if she started with a vowel. Rose, who has been invited to speak by women's fans, was asked how to overcome stuttering and pronunciation, and she affirmed: "It's definitely through practice, and I think it's more important to relax."
People who can stutter, unless you are congenital, if it is psychological, there is a tension, the other is that you are very anxious, often you think so fast that your mouth can't keep up, which is also easy to stutter. Stuttering can become a stress, just like insomnia as soon as you see the bed and feel like I'm going to lose sleep again, you think about whether I will have this pressure if I have to talk again today.
This is what I have experienced, and I have experienced such intermittent and ups and downs since I was a child. Rose thinks that God seems to have little mechanisms in us, and it's a mechanism to remind you. She is grateful for this little mechanism that will alert you when you are too stressed.
(Recommended reading: For you who are afraid of failure: let go of your attachment to success, rather than give up once, it is better to fail ten times!) ）
Photo | Zou Kailian Rose @ FB
Rose first talks about parent-child relationships
Rose's son Sean also stuttered, "When you saw your son have such a challenge, did you blame yourself for the first moment?" Wei Xuan asked. "I know he's definitely inherited from me." Rose laughed, she said that of course she was a little worried, but because she had overcome it, she would tell her son that her mother used to be like this, and don't be afraid that it would definitely be overcome.
Rose observed that the child really had a lot of stuttering for quite some time, from the upper elementary school to the middle school, and he sometimes stuttered when talking to his family, as well as preparing for a speech. Rose asked her son what to do if you really wanted to publish it, and she admired him.
Her son looked at it in a rather positive light, "I still finished talking about it today, of course there will still be people laughing, but it doesn't matter that I still finished talking and came back." The son replied. Hearing this, Wei Xuan was moved by Rose's admiration for her son, which is a very important support for children.
Rose shared how last night when her son was struggling with his English essay to be handed in, they discussed their son's upbringing and thought about which one had a big impact on him. Then the son suddenly ran over and said, "Mom, I have an idea, and I decided to discuss my stutter."
Rose further asked him how he planned to discuss, and then dissected together what stuttering happened and what didn't. Although I don't know how good my son's stutter is in the end, Rose's observation is that when you have something inside you that you really want, you suddenly start to forget what you don't have, or what gets in the way.
Photo | Zou Kailian Rose @ FB
You suddenly think whatever, I just can. "When your beliefs are as big as your pursuits, you actually forget yourself." Wei Xuan said with emotion, and at this time, the so-called dedication will actually happen.
When you're ready, when you really have something to say, you have the means to say it. If you find that love and pursuit of life, there is a way. And her son's becoming a student council representative was even more touching and incredible for Rose.
The son himself has a stutter, grades are not the best, introverted, one day took the initiative to choose a student union representative, he took the initiative to do this, and the opponent is a top student plus a stormy figure, others think you have to do it, but this matter made her and the child open a great conversation.
Rose always believed that it didn't matter if she won or lost, and in her heart, her son had already won. One of the things he did was that 80% of the whole school would think that it had nothing to do with him, because he didn't belong to that class, so he didn't think about it.
But the son thought about it and did it, and he had already won, and in her mind, he had won. And when he really won, it was incredible, and this incident actually encouraged her son's junior sister, she also had to elect student representatives, and thought why girls were always deputies, she wanted to run for the right position.
This change and energy made Rose feel that being a mother is the most fulfilling thing. Not because the child was chosen, but because he saw the child find his own worth.
And Rose actually has a paragraph dedicated to her 16-year-old son:
"As long as you are brave and do it, there is no failure, and the biggest failure is standing still. If you want to try, pursue, and change, don't think about the chances of success, just do it. Every attempt you make becomes your own asset, and no one can take it away."
"Success and failure are a backward view, and that ruler is often your own expectations or the eyes of others. Don't be afraid, don't be held back by these expectations, how rich your life is, how far you can go, depends on how brave you are. Work hard towards that goal, and God will definitely help you along the way!"
Rose wanted to talk to her 16-year-old self
Rose thinks her 16-year-old self may have dared to try a lot of things and participate in a lot of extracurricular activities. "Are you in love?" Wei Xuan asked jokingly, and Rose said that she had never been interested in falling in love, and only talked a little until she was 18 years old.
And Rose wants to say to her 16-year-old self the most: "Be grateful for what you already have, don't keep looking at what you don't have." The second is to be patient, when you are young you will feel as if the world is small, I have been a person who dares to try anything since I was a child, but my problem may be that I am more impatient."
"I also encourage those who are watching the show today to be patient with yourself, because it really takes time for us to grow. We're going to hone on anything we have, or where you want to go, and that journey takes time. The third I will tell myself that although I was 16 years old and I was an inner double, don't worry that it will become an outer double in the future, you will be more beautiful."
"Too many children have appearance anxiety when they are young, in fact, I was looking at pictures of me when I was a child that day, I am really not a very good looking person, but you are really attractive is definitely not just that face or body. Your vitality, your aura is attractive, and honestly, there seems to be no shortage of boyfriends at that time."
Photo | Zou Kailian Rose @ FB
Rose talks about the life changes brought about by "divorce"
Divorce is quite difficult in the perspective of many people, she wants to divorce very much, but she does not dare to divorce. "For the sake of all of us who watched and listened to the show, I would like to ask, what made you make this choice in the presence of a public figure? And now you have a second happy marriage. Can you give us some simple advice?" Wei Xuan asked.
"I'm really grateful to my mom, who said you gave me a divorce." Because when we make our own bad decisions, you more or less feel like we have to face it. Not just in the face of that marriage, because no matter how bad the marriage is, there must be some good things, I always come from a bunch of good and bad, I just can see that those good things are still valuable."
"I always felt that maybe I would change him, that he would change because of me. And getting along with two people with very different personalities also expanded my life experience." Rose talks softly, but cheating also brings some real harm during the marriage.
(Extended reading: "My father had an affair, but I didn't cry" What my mother's divorce told me: Affair stories don't have to be sad always)
Photo | Zou Kailian Rose @ FB
"If you find out one day that your diamond wedding ring or a blank check is missing, and someone calls your office and the hotel asks you for hotel money. In that situation, you still more or less want to avoid talking about it, until this incident breaks out, I feel that God is so loving, His love is to face it, and know where my pain points are.
My pain point is PR, so when my husband has an affair, I don't know. When I was traveling with my colleagues, suddenly our PR called me and said that I would read and publish your husband on Thursday of the week. They photographed your husband in the hotel, and my parents told me about divorce as soon as I got home."
At this point, Rose believes that the most grateful is the parents, they don't blame, it's quite incredible. They didn't talk about it all the time, they didn't tell you, even if they mentioned it about once. They just said it was over.
Today's audience, if your parents are not like this, always give you a lot of discipline, ask for a lot of direction, or blame you for not doing enough in the family, please forgive them. Rose says that as children, we must forgive them for not knowing what they don't know because their life experiences are different. But you don't need to forget your worth because of this.
Rose's blessing to the audience
Rose smiled and pulled out a card that also represented Rose's values. The card reads, "The world is worth exploring, don't define the world too quickly."
"I think it's a very good quote, if the world we explore is limited by the success and rules of the game defined by news, community, etc., then sometimes the world doesn't seem to be much to explore. Because I always feel that I can't go that way, which is why many people stop exploring, but don't define this world, this world is really rich."
Rose said as she picked up her book, the card and the title of the book matched each other, and this is exactly what I want to tell you today: Honey, don't be afraid, be brave and explore!
Finally, Wei Xuan said sincerely: "The Rose in my mind is very much like a rose, it is blooming forever. It has some sharp thorns, but those sharp thorns are not to stab people, those thorns are the armor and strength that she has grown out of all the pains of life."
The above is "Talk with Xuanxuan", dear, say yes bravely together.
Picture | Inner Child Happy Card Card