Wu Yiting and Wu Zhiyi are the first "trans-sex couples" to register for marriage, and their transgender identities are not entitled to the right, which makes society rethink the next step of marriage equality.
On a weekday night, I told my address on the phone in accordance with Abby, groping for her to find her with little Zhi and 6 love cat's Nest. Even after a few weeks of rain, so that the dark night looked more black, looking for a while, I finally was in many numbers to recognize the cat logo on the one. Climb up the stairs step by step, open the door that moment, a few clusters of furry shadow around, "they are very nervous." "Come out and answer the door," said Abby.
This place is near the south Airport night market, less than 20 ping old apartment, is Abby Hoche life Place, in addition to a door of the main bedroom by the cat occupy, go forward some will encounter a room, is directly set for the cat room, "in fact, every time looking for a house, is all for the cat looking for." Xiao Zhi smiled and said. Lock the apartment, no special decoration, the housing age more than 40 years of space, but also because of the damp wall paint many mottled off, they said, and only so the landlord can accept so many cats in this mess.
But where do so many cats come from? I asked. Small Zhi, Twitter to the Abby grumble a meal, "see Stray Cat on the road, will pick!" Every time I said, take to see the doctor after the feed, but finally will say, name all take the reluctant, the result is more and more! "One side of the Abby himself staring at the movie screen, a pretty don't care about the appearance." Now want to think funny, because the end of the day interview, I asked small Zhi heart ideal partner's appearance, she replied: "To the animals have love, good not to do evil, but also tolerant of my wayward!" "So the above complaints are false, like to Abby Self-willed said Parselmouth is true."
I want to be a girl, not a joke
Time pull back to 2012, Abby Hoche married, at that time both have sex change surgery, but little Zhi has not applied for sex changes, so in the identity card Abby as a female, small zhi for male, the household government organs to this marriage no doubt. In the coming year, small Zhi will gender into women, the two people will receive a letter from the administrative organs, said the two people will be abolished marriage relationship. They defy, concatenate many gender friendly groups to fight, finally successfully defended the marriage one months later, became the first on the Taiwan government to recognize the marital relations the sex partner. (same field Gayon: the world's first trans-sex surgery!) Danish Girl in previous life, Danish Girl prototype character Lily Albert )
This story of defending marriage sounds epic, but in real life the story of Abby Hoche is not dramatic, asked how they met, love, both continue to say: "Really want to listen?" But it's boring. "Met at a cross-sex party, at that time the two people are in dispute with the family, small zhi and mother every day quarrel, noisy to even research institute are not read down, and the face of the Mid-Autumn Festival This is always linked together with the festival, Abby mood complex to don't want to go home, so put into the small Zhi home. The same is the end of the people's feelings, at that time gradually fermented.
Abby as a child mother remarried, stepfather willing to raise her, send her to Hong Kong to go to high school, but do not want to adopt her in law, mother very mind, but no right to speak. Senior year, Abby no longer want to live in not their own gender framework, and mom confessed to want to become a girl's mood, "I talk to my mother, the result she took me to the psychiatric department, just check out of course no problem, then long time and family are not good." "abby calm explanation, small zhi in the side said," She is an orphan, especially after the stepfather and mother gave birth to children, home completely without her position. " 」
and small Zhi himself, is because of childhood living in vegan, Buddhist grandmother's home, until 6 years old to be picked up home, living habits, values and parents days, make her very painful. "Have you seen Kung fu?" Inside the Charter Lady, the Charter is my parents appearance, every day, I do not eat will be forced to feed, get me vomit, each time can only be secretly poured out. "The male image has special look forward to the small Zhi mother, hope that small zhi wear a suit, cut short hair, and even often turned her room, call the classmate Home survey, said to help her filter" bad friend. "
"My mother likes to take me to go shopping, as long as someone asks," Wow, this your husband oh? "And she was very happy. Then I told her that I wanted to be a girl and she thought I was joking. "Mother told Xiao Zhi, don't be a girl, when the girl is very hard, really bad." Small feminine, introverted little zhi, often be scolded by mother is not strong enough, brave, want to her "check a body" shape into a "man". It is not hard to imagine how much hope the only boy in the family can expect from a working class of parents, and what I can't imagine is the tension in the event and how deep each side struggles and pains.
Half a man plus half a man is a complete man.
With the same repressed original family, Abby Hoche said, they are only the edge of society to be acquainted with each other. "Have you seen the X-Men?" We are like a mutant who encounters another mutant, producing the kind of "you ' re not alone." Mood. I smiled and said that this was romantic, but was immediately refuted by them. No, it's not! 」。 Fortunately, the person who knocks on the keyboard now is me, so I can still stubbornly say, when you always feel out of tune with the world, but on the huge earth to bump into another one out of place, this is how romantic. (Recommended to you: interview Zengjia Core: "If you look at my body, can you also listen to my soul?" ")
"Once you've seen a book of Liang, it says," When you meet someone who can hold your hand for a lifetime, you'll find yourself half a person, and that partner will make up for the other half of your soul and complete you. " 」
In the interview process always let small zhi talk of the Abby, at this moment suddenly expressionless to have a touching speech. "Before I met Xiao Zhi, I was very poor in consumption habits, she helped me manage the money for a long time." "abby said this, small Zhi immediately said,"abby is a mess of people, often I tidy up the house spent a whole day, she came back to see said "Wow, good clean oh, good comfortable!" "The result is lying on the bed and rolling, not 10 minutes to ruin my whole day's efforts!" "It's funny to see them bicker," said Xiao Zhi, two people almost every day quarrel, but is the standard bedside noisy bed and.
Like two people often discuss what to eat, small zhi This do not, that do not, to the end of the Abby will be branded hard to say tonight are not eating. "Also, she sometimes wants me to pick her up from work, will call me, ask me what to do, if I say I am ready to sleep, she will silently say that it is okay and then hang up the phone." "I think, if Abby really say wishes, little Zhi will be like her usual, while maintaining the wayward, while wearing a jacket out to go."
In fact, little Zhi dearly Abby is a soft heart of people, she said Abby often wishful thinking for good, unlike himself will only be divided into "My people" and "not my people" two kinds. They get along, no idol drama-like girl plot, only the daily necessities of romance, it is a thorough understanding of each other, developed out of the balance, so stable, so good.
If we can choose, maybe we won't change girls.
I looked at them and felt really brave. In the mainstream of such a strong society, how many people can do upstream, presumably is really can't stand that does not belong to their hero body. So, I asked a very layman question: "When did you first want to be a girl?" "Xiao Zhi smiled and asked me," your company outside the wall that big hanging the newspaper is not ah? That Simompova. "Women are not born by birth, they are formed by the day after tomorrow." Of course it is.
Small Zhi think, sex is acquired, society with male, female frame on us, and she just found that they do not fit to be given that. "Now only men and women can choose, so I think girls are more suitable for me." "She said that if there is no such framework today, maybe she will not become a girl, but can become more free appearance." Abby Hoche together to look forward to that day, the ID on the gender column and face book can be freely filled, this is their establishment of the "Sex Unknown Care association" after the very strong in the promotion, but as if it is considered too far ahead of the "gender self-determination" concept.
Abby said that, in addition to the risk of gender replacement surgery, in fact, to increase the quality of the surgeon's negative temperament is not much help. "I think the surgery is a myth, and I've met some people who have postoperative depression, and they'll find out, how did they do the surgery or like the boys?" In fact, it will make you look like a girl, is your gender performance and temperament. And the transsexual surgery is not a double eyelid, how many people can see in life? Unless you really hate that thing there, the surgery doesn't really mean much. "It is only because the law stipulates that the operation is necessary to change the sex of the document, so that many transgender people have no choice but to go in the direction of surgery." (same field Gayon: Social Transport and trans-gender!) Interview Ye Jo: "I strive to be my own right")
No "fake friendliness", only "unfriendly."
This year, with the theme of "Breaking the false friendliness", the parade is coming, and I asked them if they had ever had a fake kindness in their lives. The two people said lightly, they believe that for the trans-gender and the yin and yang, feel friendly and unfriendly than comrade come more direct, therefore, there is only "friendly" and "unfriendly", and there is no "fake friendly" this option. "Some comrades can also hide, the appearance does not come out, if the trans-sex, the other people to see to know." "This person has no affection for himself, can be the same as himself, sometimes can be found at a glance."
The Association for the care of the sexes has helped to address the many transgender, masculine and feminine difficulties encountered in job-hunting, combining many cases and personal experiences, they say that the discrimination faced by people with unknown sex is often straightforward, "the most common situation is that the interviewer will ask you," You are 1, why wear 2 of clothes? "If there are two people today who are about the same, they usually don't hire transgender men." When "abby started looking for work in 2008, he lost 100 resumes and 40 interviews, and finally got the media help to find his first job as an engineer.
"We have found that the lower the skills required for work, the higher the level of discrimination, which may be related to the knowledge of the employer." "abby Hoche is currently working as an engineer in different companies, reading English paper, and helping each other with work-burning butts. "People with unknown sex, really more than the so-called" normal "work harder, I often think that the parents of children with sex unknown, should be more spur them, because this is a bad way to go. "That is the ideal world, the parents in understanding the child, can cross the quarrel and conflict, take their hands trembling walk every step of the strong road." No matter how far away from that realm, they did not give up the idea of pursuing.
Abby said before the end of the interview: "The ideal world, is that no one will be forgotten." 」
Yes, no one should be forgotten by the world. This night, I see their ordinary life, and more unbearable in this world many people are deprived of this ordinary fact. At last, little Zhi waved his hands excitedly, said after the place must have a big yard, can bask in the sun in the courtyard, use the computer to work, see the cat run to run, run tired, snuggle together to sleep a nap, she described too carefully, the whole happiness picture instantly from my brain burst out. Turning around, I asked Abby if there were any different ideas about life in the future, and she just said: "No, it's all discussed." I smiled and thought, it was a beautiful thing to have the same blueprint in my other half.
You woke lily up, but in fact she was always there. You are helped bring Lili to the life but she ' s always been. --"Danish Girl"
I think of the movie "The Danish Girl", Abby Hoche is the awakening of each other and the feeding of lily in each other's souls. And I hope that the world in every corner of Lily well, no longer hide in which does not belong to their own body, in the night silent weeping. May this society tolerate more gentle release of their souls, face their bravery, until one day, their head up chest no longer need to be so brave. (Recommended reading: The death of a human rights movement: killing Hande Kader is not a trans-gender identity, but hatred )
Chatting for nearly three hours, the time is nearly midnight. We and have not had dinner Abby, small zhi together downstairs, slowly sway to the south Airport night market not far away. A lot of stalls are closed, finally Abby selected 焿 face, I and small zhi are respectively eat election rice and curry rice. Small zhi that dish curry rice, I do not know why the size of the small to no, she murmured complaining side of the wolf, suddenly talked about the car.
"Hey, you know what?" Girls are really discriminated against when they drive. 」
"How to Say?" 』
"Before, oh, when I drive, for example, squeeze into that very small alley, opposite another car to come, I backed out to others, the other side will always nod my compliments." But now encountered this kind of thing, the other party often a little gratitude is not, also use to see "Sambo" Look at me! It's weird, hey, I'm the one who drives. 」
As soon as the story was finished, she ate the curry and rice. "Alas, not even the vegetables." She stared at the empty disk and said.