Interview Cai Chongda, scrutinize him write "skin" naked confession, if the life of the proposition hidden in the heart, fled to the ends of the earth it is still.
Cai Chongda, a Taiwanese stranger, China's fiery name. I told myself that if I encounter a difficult proposition, I must first remember the name.
He is a hero out of his youth. 27 years old, "GQ" the world's 17-country version of the youngest reporting director; 29 years old to do a special report on the issue of the death penalty, to become a news writing standard, 34-Year-old published the first literary works "Skins" best-selling 2 million volumes.
The Cai Chongda of the achievements of the data is extremely oppressive, as if 2017 of human life is still only 40 years.
He was originally a literary youth, doing the media to feed himself, 11 media career cumulative 2.7 million words reported, a pen to support the work of the cane, from the hometown of laterite food Beijing clouds, fast and high; reading his "skin" is a very different experience, down very low, low to the heart of the small town of southern Fujian home land and life. But why can the story of the town affect 2 million people?
Cai Chongda for "skins" traditional version of the cyclone to Taiwan three days, September 14, he and Moranti Typhoon landed in Taipei.
New Classics Editor Little unofficially engaged I went to the Cai Chongda room, pushed open the door, the floor of the window stood a gray shirt black shorts, flat-headed little boy, he smiled shyly here, there is no book waist photo Belittlin ' style of spirit, like the North Drift ten years to make the fame of the neighbor brother, from the book out to see, familiar and unfamiliar, I wonder if I could call him a childhood nickname "Black Dog Tatsu", or with the editor of the dress together to call "teacher Cai."
Undecided, decided to first ask Cai Chongda nickname "Black Dog Tatsu" origin.
"You know, it's really about Taiwan." "We sat down, and a man perched on a corner of the couch. Cai Chongda spoke with a Minnan-style twang, which was very close. I remember that the geography of Taiwan and Fujian Quanzhou is indeed the neighbor of the strait.
Neighbors began to explain, "as a child Taiwan has a TV series, the owner called the Black Dog brother, Yu Cheng Qing also has a song" The Mountain Black dog brother 〉"He said then hums the song, called" The Black Dog Tatsu "is he too also saw Taiwan's television series, hoped that he like Black dog Brother as cool and humorous. Cai Chongda's name is from the parents, the nickname is supplied by Taiwan, he and Taiwan in different periods of life in the depth of the department.
Come to Taiwan, like many years after the first girl to meet
The 2014 publication of the "Skins" in China extremely popular, but Taiwan's generation still dialectical how to watch China, psychological really difficult to give up space, read the Chinese writer write the story of the town, strings of life common proposition. It is better to wait than three years ago, and Taiwanese readers are ready to meet Cai Chongda's skins.
This is the first time Cai Chongda on Taiwan land, he was happy and nervous.
In the opening interview, he made a concerted effort to strike a point, stating that he was psychologically close to Taiwan. On the one hand, Minnan culture is interlinked. On the other side, I grew up watching Taiwan TV, you have a lot of stem, such as "iron-ox-yun-san" or something, I know. We laughed immediately, and found that he was trying hard to find a sense of common contact with Taiwanese people.
An interview earlier that day, Cai Chongda and the typhoon circled over Taiwan for a long time, he continued to look down from the plane, muttering, "Taiwan is also each upstairs to build iron sheds, sheds on the flowers to raise things." See the temple, just like home feeling. 」
Taiwan is like home, the hometown should be relaxed, but "skins" published in Taiwan, he bluntly has double tension.
The first is to embark on the reality of Taiwan's tension.
When I was a child, I lived in a small town closest to Taiwan, and I could receive Taiwanese, Chinese, Chinese, and public view. At that time I was in the hometown of barefoot on red soil, TV Taiwan is a high-rise, when I think of Taiwan as the best place in the world. He played a playful analogy, "like a girl who has been in love for a long time, the first close contact will be very tense, afraid to see what is not the same as the imagination." 」
Cai Chongda from television to watch the first love object growth, from Taiwan's money flooded the foot of the state, the outbreak of variety shows, to the first presidential election, "we all look." 」
On the other side of the coast of the children of Taiwan familiar to the birth of love, we are unfamiliar to China arrogant. TV ads often feed the stem of the stowaway: Dark Chinese Labor panic disembark, the police request to sing the national anthem The Ming, they deserted the board to pull the voice, television front Taiwanese people hold a superiority smile havoc, I have been laughing.
"At one point I thought I had the right to vote," he said. It turns out I didn't. "Cai Chongda said cute, we all smiled, now this is the cross-strait meet can laugh at the Times."
The second tension, from Taiwan, is his literary enlightenment.
"There was a show at 10 o'clock to 12 at the time, called the Asia Film Festival, to play all the prizes in Asia," he said. The mainland can not see these foreign films, I often sleep at home when people secretly watch TV. The recognition of documentaries is also from Taiwan, and Taiwan has played a great role in my literary and artistic enlightenment. 」
"So when the new classic contact me said to the book in Taiwan, the middle dragged two years I was more nervous, pretending to be indifferent, very do not care, but in fact, I am good and bad heart ah." "Laugh and be quiet for the next question." He was very warm and sincere, and very calm and restrained.
My father died, and I was outraged by the world's uncontrollable
Cai Chongda, who began writing "Skins" at the age of 29, made the feature of the Encyclopedia of Chinese News writing in that year. I wonder why it all happened at 29 years old?
"Actually I'm 29 years old and really busy." He counted, finished the "skins" with several features, resigned from GQ to China Newsweek to meet the editor, founder clothing brand, "Also in that year married, have a baby." 」
If you really want to say that the turn of the year, all from the writing "Skins" began. He wrote books to cure his father's loss after his death, but more precisely, his father's death had forced him to face a long escape.
At the end of the 29-Year-old, Ben Three, the inner overhang and the unfinished part will rage gradually. On the timeline, the age of 30 is often the beginning point of scrutinized's past life and the second-half goal of life. On the space axis, the achievement of youth uprooted, and the identity of returning home to seek an outlaw also to the intersection, it is necessary to reposition their own identity.
He had thought he was earning money and fame in a big city, saving his father for a cure.
Father ran away that day, he was in the editorial department of Life Weekly News, the original foolish of arrogance folded into a huge amount of anger and frustration, "I climbed the roof of the building, pointing to the sky scold, I said with what, why do you say take away him!" Cai Chongda said this paragraph, the right hand fingertips still pointing to the sky, there is the force of accusation.
But in an instant he was also clear. "At that time I finally understood that man is great and small." I learned that the world has a large number of uncontrollable objects, but also a large number of unpredictable reality. 」
When I was 29 years old, I cut myself with a sore spot.
But Cai Chongda no chance to compensate his father again, when he was full of anger and nothingness, could not afford to work interest, squeeze himself from Beijing to resign. Excuse to accompany mom, in fact, often in the town to ride a bike without a purpose to shake.
Back to his hometown, he found his father's bedside affixed to his photos, the face of the fingers day and night stroked to the facial features white.
He suddenly, the father misses him when he to earn medical expenses for the name of accumulate utilitarian, in fact, is unable to respond to Father emotion. Many questions have not been pressed until the wall of death comes, until the irreversible blockage in front of, until there is no way to escape there is nowhere to hide, just know to uncover the heart, find out how they want to live, how to treat others and self.
has been holding their own Cai Chongda, after all, to breathe.
"One day I feel stuffy in the chest, sitting on the bus, suddenly saw a person outside the window with crutches, half hemiplegia walking, very much like my father." At that time I thought, finished to cry, also desperately tell oneself can't cry can't cry, after all, in public on the bus, crowded people. "He imitated the scene at that time," finally or in the bus vomit like crying, crying to everyone feel how, I realized that some sad born in the heart, the heart of the wound has been festering. 」
Speaking of which he slowly raised his hands, "I am writing" skins "to open my heart. Where the pain is pressed where, a knife down. He left the air to hold the signal, the right hand to the empty next row.
Later, whenever the pain was made, he put himself into a restaurant in Linyi, Hangzhou, for a week to write a clear record.
The first day in a daze, the next day tentatively write: The third day started, the window is closed not know the sun and the moon, vomiting as the heart sad expression out, a night twenty thousand or thirty thousand words, expression exhausted. Wake Up and open the window, like the wound clean up, and back to Earth. 」
Imagine a man holding a pen, writing a runny nose, a tear howler to vertigo, a very dramatic scene.
He clawed his hands more promising, left palm extremely white and fine, the right hand was very rough, the thumb under a large dark birthmark, birthmark on the hair. Cai Chongda fun to name for both hands, "I often say that the left hand is beautiful, right hand is the beast, is the combination of beauty and the Beast." 」
The beast with a pen into the inner fury, the faint days of the surface anatomy of their own, from the end of the bloody to clear blockage, gradually lightsome. He surfaced and stitched himself up in a book.
The order of your inner peace is home.
"After the wound was opened and the operation was made, the inner order was finally comfortable," he quoted the footnote of the White Cloud (Central Television host) for him: Chong da wrote this book to go home, to go home for freedom.
"After the writing is really put down, free, like home." Also just know oneself want how to live, want to meet what kind of person, want to open what kind of future. 」
Encounter the problem of how to deal with, we often think that the line to the distance can find the antidote. But when you reach the distance, when the distance becomes your near, you will know that escape is useless.
"Many people are actually farewell to the homeland, but can never reach the distant ghosts." "Cai Chongda rarely put the words heavy, I listened to the body startled."
"Skins" in the book there are two chapters, "The Genius of the Literary exhibition", "a small and a small", the protagonist are forced to flee their own proposition to the distant but always afraid of the face of the ego, in the environmental impact of concave folded into awkward shape, broken off. They were the important Cai Chongda of life, he said ruthless words, is not willing to be around people into wandering ghosts.
"If there is no answer to make you uncomfortable proposition, you can always run, can not really in the distance Ann, also can not return to the original home Ann." "Well-meaning, like in the literary exhibition and a small Talk."
Cai Chongda was curious about our age before the interview, in fact I will be 29 also have a lot of propositions approaching, this interview as the universe implied: must face the fear, fighting the truth of the heart order.
However, Cai Chongda do not know that he just with the interviewer's inner dialogue, continue to say, "The life of the proposition in mind Ah, you fled to the ends of the earth it is still ah, but it to a strange place, to rearrange the conditions, to emerge from the press you, sooner or later will jump out. 」
"Only those propositions all get along well, open, whether in the distance or home, your inner stability, like back home, home is your inner order." 」
I heard straight nod, suddenly feel wrong, hurriedly changed to shake head, ask Cai Chongda, then why did you leave home to work in Beijing? Beijing as a distant, did not help you?
Cai Chongda a bit, said to make a supplement, "Beijing has a very good role, the distance between time and space will allow you to get the appropriate security to see yourself." The distance, though not medicine, is a good place to observe yourself. 」
"Far away is near." He thought about it, saying it was the title of his graduation for the school magazine in his college days. I put this sentence on my mind.
Thought it was medicine, and always tried to eat with all his strength, try the useless, just know to find another way, to understand that the solution is not to rely on a geographical space, a person, one thing can be flung away or resolved, they grow in your heart, only the right side, to escape its only way to kill themselves.
Interview Cai Chongda, on the article to understand themselves, the next chapter on understanding others. Why should we understand? Understanding is the only way to make yourself comfortable, forgetting or hating is neither, nor can you.