Lu Xun once said: "Love is not you want to sell can sell, want to buy can buy." "Once traded, love is no longer love." This week's Chinese gender watch began with the rise of China's high-end flower brand Roseonly, to see the meaning of the word "love" in the hearts of the Chinese after the actual conditions of strangulation . (extended reading: negative demons in the global Desire City: When Taiwanese women meet Western men )
One day in the winter, I woke up and found a bunch of flowers in the doorway of the dormitory and asked the students of the next room for a curious question. She smiled and said: "Upstairs of the freshman learned sister received the pursuit of 1000 roses, is worried about no place to put it, so in the dormitory each room are sent a bunch, so 1000 roses probably also NT seventy thousand or eighty thousand Yuan." 」
The "Legend of 1000 Roses" became the subject of the girls ' discussion. The tone is full of enviable, no doubt is the flower has always been in love dominate the important position, as if the bright flowers can let young love bloom, our relationship is complete, no longer have any desire of suffering and pain.
A bunch of flowers, but also a piece of love proof. The flower-sending, to prove their love of the firm. And the flower collector, then secretly the weight of love. Thus, we exchanged eternal commitments with each other.
The true love that blooms only for one person in a lifetime.
Performativity in my life with the love of Flowers performativity, China's high-end flower brand roseonly more such "exclusive" true love Spirit performance incisively and vividly, in the flower shop to buy flowers, life can only send a woman, if a partner, you can no longer through the roseonly send flowers to the new girlfriend. Love lasts forever, and your roses bloom for one person in a lifetime.
Trust Roseonly, the trust of love. believers have love, Love is the only.
like a gift from Jay Chou on Valentine's Day, Liu Shi poems and Wu Chilong wedding flowers, everyone through the roseonly "lifelong, only one person" to show the Faith of Love , but I can not help thinking, in the eyes of Chinese girls, why love to rely on roses to believe it? And why is true love built on consistency?
Perhaps because "love" in China is a displaced process. inside China, people put in the 50 's, the definition of love is simple, the 60 is suppressed, the 70 is distorted, the 80 is awakening and struggle, the 90 is decadent, the millennium is a serious materialization. The Chinese have repeatedly come close to and escape from love, and the imagination is thus constantly producing huge fission.
After the 60 and the 70 's Cultural Revolution after the mutilation. "Love" in the 80 's re-enter the spirit of the Chinese, trying to heal the wounds, marking the end of the people can not be close with suspicion. Thus, the 80 's view of love to establish-born as a real person, love is mutual trust to exchange the hope for the future, lovers of good times have a strong attachment. This kind of view of love attempts to take the human nature as the foundation, takes the modern as the common ideal. But the unexpected is that when "modern life" is true, love has fallen into an unprecedented crisis.
After the reform and opening-up, the accumulation of wealth but let the vision away. Reality changes too quickly, love people's time no longer belong to each other, there may be in the turn has disappeared, so the 90 's love view is to "Die addiction", love is no longer an effort on the "available", can only be obtained in an irrational way. The dolls of love and longing are so enthusiastic to recall that there is more to escape from the reality of the desire.
on the way to the after modern times, Love Libra placed on the money-lovers there is no sweet imagination, can only try unrelated to love marriage, but instead of the increasingly stubborn love fetishism.
"This is Shanghai, which is so subtly maintaining the daydream of all people, and it hangs in the vast expanse of the sky with a huge Libra, which keeps the city in a way that is never tilted, always fair and unfair." 」
In recent years, China's fiery red "small time" that reflects the social atmosphere, it is a stark expression of the Gilded Age of mental weightlessness . People will "material" as the spirit of life buoy, resulting in fetishism, become popular belief.
What destroyed the Chinese love?
Chinese New Year when my micro-letter friends are all about Shanghai "Peacock women" discussion-well-off Shanghai girl, made a boyfriend from Jiangxi, although the young man working ability is good, but no family background support, it is estimated that in the next few years can not be placed in Shanghai production. And the girl's parents because of fear that their daughter can not live a good life, repeatedly opposed to girls and poor outsiders together.
Girl in her boyfriend repeatedly asked, this year when she followed the man back home for the new year. Unexpectedly in the dim light, first in the eyes of the greasy table, with crude tableware filled with unknown so mixture, plus such as ritual upright on the rice chopsticks. See this table such as swill dinner, the girl on the spot "tear face", direct farewell boyfriend, overnight ride back to Shanghai.
Unable to endure the rural poor Shanghai girl put the escape story put on the network, some people accuse the girl has no upbringing, also some regrets girl Xianpinaifu: "Most distressed his parents, that a deep remorse and desolate, God owes them a good daughter-in-law!" 」
This lively discussion symbolizes that love seems to be left with utilitarian considerations. Everyone's eyes are not "white rich beauty" is "high Handsome", love has to depend on money. Many people think that the Chinese girls now want "tickets, houses, cars", it seems that when men have these, can be a smooth "wife, children."
But behind the thought is the social system and economic foundation. Therefore, condemning love materialism, condemning marital utilitarianism, and even blaming Chinese girls for the money left in their eyes, this moral accusation is superficial and ignores the appearance of the structure.
From this story I see is the reform and opening-up, China's social polarization is too high, so many people began to take the marriage as a shortcut, look forward to a change in the quality of life after marriage, into a relatively high social stratum, if you can choose, who want to become the poor couple of the hundred things? The human nature believed in the 80 's is the ideal after working together, and the humanity of the new century is the desire to live a good life.
My Shanghai friends most like to laugh at themselves: "We house prices, prices, milk powder prices are overtaking Europe and the United States, income is the same as Africa." 」
In this land, bearing the world's highest tax, but only the world's lowest social security, and even housing, health care, education and other basic issues of livelihood has become a tool for profit. Many young people bear the reality of this mountain, how to walk but see no hope, in such a dark future, marriage has become a change in the plight of another way of life. (Recommended reading: Taiwan Girls in Shanghai Observation: Shanghai, the most prosperous and the poorest )
As early as a few years ago, the Spanish World newspaper said very bluntly: "China's high prices, destroying the love of young people, but also destroy the imagination of young people." They could have recited poetry, traveled together, and opened a book club. But now, young people graduated from college to become middle-aged, like the middle-aged as a matter of daily necessities. Their life, from the beginning is material, sophisticated, and can not experience a romantic life, a life-oriented lifestyle. 」
True love can only depend on the dilemma of material fulfillment
"Love is not what you want to sell, you can buy it if you want." "Love can not be self-sufficient, it always has to be subordinate, this reason Lu Xun in the hundred years ago with a short story," the past "said Clearly, love is not directly traded things, once the sale, love is no longer love.
so in the material Society of China, true love has become a contradictory word, you believe in love can not have the elements of snobbery , but we also rely on buying expensive flowers to prove that love is worth it.
The market side strangle the real world of love, but while trying to rely on high prices to reconstruct love, and understand that because love is scarce, all mortal beings just need romantic love story as a spiritual opium to suck. So the Chinese struggle to live in the market, but also rely on the market to give the hope of hardship, but did not see the love Utopia Jian place, in fact, is the neglected cemetery of love.
in the romantic imagination of flowers, perhaps this is like a ritual What is celebrated is never the love of everyday life, but the dull and the disturbed, and to convince myself that "true love" is still possible . of Love. When the Chinese people try to use high price flowers overflowing happiness, for their love endorsement, but more let people see love in front of the market procrastinate. (same field Gayon: to the life partner at this moment: you don't need to be "not to abandon my Lover")
The dilemma of lovers is that they seem to have the freedom of choice, can deny love or worship love, but in any case can not conceal the hidden behind the love, the reality of the helpless. Believe in love or do not believe, more like the face of this dilemma of personal choice, because when the community's recognition of love is already scarce.
In this century, the greatest difference in Chinese love is that the division between the ego and the world is far more prominent than it was in the past, and this has made it generally less easy for a person to experience the feeling of being in the palm of the universe. In the era of revolutionary idealism higher than the days, love is simple and simple, in the secular era, love has become the last experimental field of idealism.
No longer need to love others "vulgar" finger-pointing, while shouting love can not be built on the greed, while the flowers only Pure love, there is no material factor in the role, everyone has their own love dream, and no one is more noble than.
Like Engels in the "family, private ownership and the origin of the country" in the exposition of love, in today's Chinese environment to relive, it is particularly vivid: "The full freedom of marriage, only after the abolition of capitalism, so that today's choice of the spouse of the economic consideration of the elimination of the general realization. By then, there would be no further motives other than mutual adoration. 」