From the shoulders of the boy to acquiesce to the violence of society: my body, not your game

The first time I was pulled by the shoulder belt, is the country one.

At that time I just from the primary school sports underwear, replaced with rims bra, the first time I feel the bra I am not comfortable, I struggling to face the development of the chest, it is a how unfamiliar body.

The boy who sits behind me looks like the new world, sticks out the finger to pull my shoulder belt, the newly underwear shoulder belt is also very tight, bounces back the skin to emit the crisp sound, the row boy chuckled.

The first time I felt ashamed and angry, in a laugh back, want to scold the boy, saw his face diffuse don't care, as if he did not malicious, and my body is his love to play on the new toys, he shrugged as if I overreacted, I silently back, a word is not export.

The teacher glanced at us and went on with the class.

I can't remember the boy's face, I just remember to pull the shoulder strap after that, become a boy group Limited game. It doesn't matter who the boy is, no matter where the girl's position is, there may be such a group of laughs behind her hands.

I can't remember when I was being pulled over my shoulder. There is no other person to lend a hand, scold the boy, maybe, maybe not, but the girls unspoken, shoulder belt loose is very troublesome, shoulder strap to the skin is very painful, no one likes to be pulled shoulder strap, no one knows why the boy can casually pull our shoulder strap.

But I still remember the teacher's eyes, he saw and pretended not to see, he made me feel that this is a sex game even consenting adults, irrelevant. (same field Gayon: Every woman has a piece of underwear that can't be removed )

Playing "Brotherhood" trials with straps: The female body that can be "invaded" at any time

From the beginning of the country, the shoulders have become a hereditary game for boys, the strap is a "brotherhood" trial, a generational tradition, a subtle need for boys to pass the test and convinced that I have the right to control another gender, as long as I am happy, I can play her shoulder strap, lift her skirt, and no apology.

The straps also have a hidden power relationship, rudely dividing the girls into "I want to pull her shoulder girl", "I don't want to pull the girl on her shoulder" group block.

Some boys will "challenge" pull the north of the shoulder strap, just to see her angry and annoyed with the expression of abuse; some boys only tease "specific girl", even think it is a good way, you see " I only pull your straps "and this is the way I like you; some boys do not want to play with straps, he may not be able to enter the group, will be disliked enough masculine, until he chose to join the game, or be willing to be excluded. (Recommended thinking: sex discrimination on the playground: Men play volleyball very Niang?) Attacking girls, no face? )

What about the girls? The girls ' faces blurred and became a challenge to one after another. She was pulled over three times and she was angry, she was a girl with no tongue in her shoulder, she was a girl who could not pull her shoulders.

The girl is learning how to coexist with the changing body, uplifted breasts, a newly arrived period, and the like of a shoulder strap or a skirt game, tell her repeatedly that your body is not just yours, another gender has the right to interfere or invade, you can be angry, you can be unhappy, but they "have the right" to continue to tease you.

Such inexplicable power, even the teacher is seen in the eyes.

After becoming an adult: the more serious "games" of Pilar's shoulder belt

After college, the boys grew to be men, claiming that they were no longer childish and had no intention of pulling shoulders and lifting skirts, but their ideas had not changed. So as a child's shoulder belt lift skirt game, became the body of picking up or rape game. (Recommended reading:"The body was found to be a girl deserved?" "The ubiquitous culture of violence Rape Culture."

Then, they will confidently say: "They have no resistance to express their willingness to", "they are willing to refuse to welcome", "say not to express want", " It was her dress that was too short to seduce me ", they think they are not a little wrong, because it is their childhood, the process of growth taught him: women can play with the weak, is the object of gaze, is I want to touch the toy. (same field Gayon: who wants "clean"?) Adolescence, forgotten sensory memory )

For girls, this is not always a game. We did not want to play this game, it is a game we do not know how to resist and refuse. At school time is, out of the society may also be.

As a girl who had been pulled over the shoulder, I always thought that I should feel uncomfortable at the first time, just tell the boy I don't like it, please don't touch me like that, maybe I should use a rubber band to play on his shoulder, let him know that it is so painful, maybe I should disregard the teacher's disregard of the eyes, resolutely ask him to deal with, Because I really don't feel well.

I should not feel that it is my own problem. That's not my problem, that's how society perceives and imagines gender. (For more discussion, please lock in: Women fans regularly published gender observation )

I didn't say that because I didn't know I could.

To the girl who has been pulled shoulder strap, to the girl who is being pulled shoulder belt, your body is not his game. The body is yours, whether it's a shoulder strap, a skirt, a workplace molestation or a school sexual assault, if you feel uncomfortable, you have the right to express your anger and you have the right to let him know that I don't want to play this so-called "game" with you.

To the boys who once pulled over the shoulders, the boys who still think that the shoulders are very funny, if they don't "pull the straps", do you know how to talk to girls? Have you ever tried to talk to a girl seriously and listen to her without looking at her body? Would you like to think about why you want to play and think you can afford to play such a game? Why are such "games" only boys having fun?

I would like to say that I would like to understand you, I can understand you, but that understanding, must be I use a lot of pain in exchange.