the road to a three-way family asked about her vision of the bill, the "The most ferocious senior in Taiwan "Say Softly: "The truth makes no sense, and it beats feelings." "
The first time I heard from Xu Xiuwen lawyer was a friend who turned a public hearing film on the Marriage Equality Act of the Legislative Yuan in his face book. claiming to be able to see "Taiwan's most ferocious senior" heroic. in the film, she is a strong rebuttal to the government's attempts to delay the marriage Affirmative Action Act. her face was solemn and her words were sonorous, and word were like bullets from the fire. and she was in the crossfire, defending the most heroic warrior of the plural gender rights.
you may have argued with people about the diversity of families who serve, or for the United States to declare gay marriage legal and happy to put on rainbow stickers. But you may not know that when the world is moving towards a more egalitarian and more respectful goal, Taiwan is not too far behind the world because of the three laws of multiple family. and advocates marriage equality, partner system and family system of multiple families three law, its initiator, is Xu Xiuwen lawyer.
Su-wen lawyer is currently the executive Director of the Alliance, from France after six years of study abroad, has been working to promote the interests of multiple sexes; At the beginning of this year's legislative elections, she served as a candidate for the Green Social Union without zoning legislators in order to promote gay equality and the mission of gay politics.
I always remember that the first contact with the plural family bill was on the university campus. Student Union Gender workshop launched photo-support activities, I held the heart-shaped cardboard, which read: "In this huge and lonely universe, you are not a person," the face is due to the loss of the sleepless night of edema. I think, like a person, but not good together, that is how deep sadness. Similar wounds seem to connect me with the once unfamiliar gay community, the photo condensation, tightly linked to the issue of marital equality. (You will like: Taiwanese Christian couple's wedding address: If you bless me, please bless gay love )
So, before I met my lawyer, I rehearsed the way I talked to her many times. In the face of such a long-standing champion of gay rights, I conceived a serious, even some solemn and stirring scenes, but suddenly was the smile on the face of the lawyer Xiu-wen break: "Sorry, waiting for a while," she raised the small jar, smiled and said: "You just said to take photos, I went to wipe the BB cream." 」
On the sofa on the first floor of the woman, Su-wen's lawyer turned his back on the busy road of peace, and the afternoon sun shone in from behind, and her face shone with light. Although it was a rather heavy thing to push, she tried to light up the road that had not yet seen the dawn with warmth and sense of humour.
Empathy and sense of humour: perhaps the opposite is the world's most gay-attracted people.
in the process of promoting gay equality, it is inevitable to meet with some different voices, sometimes sharp thorn in the heart of the spleen, sometimes loudly cover up the world, and sometimes the polyphony to make people do not know how to respond. I asked Su-cam how to keep a stable mood, clear response, and a sense of humour.
"I think you have to believe that communication is possible and that this is the basic belief in promoting social movement." If you think communication is impossible, then exercise is impossible. The sense of humor is that you help yourself not to be controlled by anger in the process of communication, but also to buffer and adjust the conflict, because I also like people who have a sense of humour! 」
on the thorny path of promoting multiple gender interests, she told me so. Her expression is very gentle, like can contain the Thorn thorn on the piece, although she will be stabbed, but try not to hurt others.
sense of humour and sympathy is the way that Su-Wen's lawyer responds to dissent: "A bill is technically going to pass, and now the DPP, with its absolute dominance in the Legislative yuan, probably needs only three worship." But the changes in the law do not mean that people will change, because the process of changing people's minds is more complicated than the law. We need each other emotionally to identify with us, because people are emotional animals. (Extended reading: written after the Zhou Ziyu apology film: Taiwan must be free and independent, every Zhou Ziyu need not be servile )
"Not the debate wins, you win, because the real win is to win the other person's heart." 」
say "heart" when the word, her voice slightly up, let people also want to follow smile. When it comes to defending interests, I anticipate antagonism, resentment, or frustration, which, after all, is, in some cases, like two planets running in their respective orbits, almost to doubt the possibility of rational dialogue. I did not expect to show the lawyer will use such a soft way to express, in such a rational supremacy of the era, she told us: the truth, talk about feelings! because only feelings will soften a person's heart walls.
before you get into your relationship, you have to know what it is like to talk to someone. She was playful enough to describe the opposite person in her eyes: "I think they might be the most attractive people in the world who feel the same sex." Because they are afraid of their own contact with the gay issues, they will start to change, so more emphasis on the boundaries of all clear, once the framework began to shake, they will feel the danger. I think it's interesting that you can't make a clear distinction between your enemy and your comrades, or you may be afraid of social vision or do not want to be labeled, and deliberately with the gay community or related issues distance. "(You will like: " God is not afraid of new things!) "The Pope's prescription is gay love."
in the eyes of Su-wen lawyers, everyone is a possible comrade, because the hearts of fear, there is panic, people need help. This is why, at the beginning of this year's legislative elections, she tried to open the new Bureau of Gay politics, as the Green Union's non-regional legislators candidates.
Comrade in politics: "You have never seen a comrade in your life, then I will come to my own."
in the process of the vote, the lawyer Su-Wen visited many places and witnessed the urban-rural disparity in Taiwan. Originally, some local newspaper never reported Comrade's news, many people have never seen out of the closet comrades in their lives. in this historic election campaign for gay politics, Su-wen lawyers personally to close to different backgrounds, identity and identity of the masses, over and over again to worship the ticket, the streets began to communicate their ideas.
"I'm going to break the habit of myself and the masses!" We can not accept, you have to test in order to know. "said the Su-wen lawyer firmly.
How can you dismantle the fear that the security is about to collapse if you do not see a man who is alive, who laughs, who is no different from you? for security is built by the familiarity of the old order. So, Su-wen lawyer simply go directly to you, let you look with your own eyes, with their ears to listen to: Comrades are not strange, nor scary, and even most of the time, they are very cute.
in the opinion of lawyer Su, comrade's participation in politics is not only for rights and interests. Most comrades must face their own identity, seek the approval of their families, adapt to the discrimination and prejudice that may be encountered in the community, so that they can experience the feelings and difficulties of the weak. and comrades in the special position, let them develop and common people different vision and ability. This is a unique life experience, for the comrades to bring unexpected advantages, but also comrades in politics can provide different perspectives. (Recommended reading:"live straight hit" Women fans first political salon: and you a beer a mouthful Taiwan )
constantly break through themselves, but also to break the heart of the people's actions, in the end there is no effect? After 28 days of voting and speeches across town, Su-cam found that Taiwanese society's acceptance of gays was actually higher than she had imagined.
"Once, I went to Taidong's iron FA, and gave a speech under a big tree, and there was a festive day, and many people were selling things over there." I'd send out flyers and send them to an Aboriginal girl who was also on a stall. She looked at my leaflets, which read the gay politics, and she had not spoken, and she pointed to the comrades with her hands, and then to me. I said yes, I am gay ah, it is me. 」
"Then she said," Can I hold you? " 」
"She may never have seen a person who directly shows her gay identity, let alone printed leaflets, but she may also be able to appreciate the situation of comrades in this society," she said. So we had a solid hug. "Su-Wen said, look soft and with a little satisfaction, our visit briefly paused, for the air filled with goodwill and warm atmosphere."
Memories of such a hug, truly as if the soul and soul of the collision, no pretense, no hidden, no hostility.
The issue is like a variety of ingredients, always have to be balanced intake, will be healthy
A hug from the Taidong with the Aboriginal girl seemed to echo the way in which the lawyer had been treating dissent, treating crowds, and treating the world. She has not only continued to promote gender equality campaigns, but has also been a perennial obligation to assist the Taroko clan against the use of Aboriginal land by Asian cement companies, and has also written about nuclear power generation issues.
However, the human heart is limited, every issue needs the support of the professional, and professional need to spend time and effort to accumulate, how does the show-cam lawyers to extend care to different issues?
"I've been focusing on nuclear energy for more than 20 years since college." Taroko case also lasted more than 10 years, the plural Marriage Act I came back from France to start, also six years, and I do not want to stop the meaning, haha. "She smiled and said:" I ask myself, every issue or movement, as long as participation, must be deeply involved. But deep participation is not about being narrow or self-limiting, and the breadth of caring is important because many issues are interconnected, too partial, focused on their own issues, and may result in some blind spots and biases. 」
"For example, the Taroko and Asian cement cases involve different topics such as economic development, Aboriginal land, and environmental sustainability, and no one can claim to be absolutely more important than the other party." So we have to weigh it. Finally, I think we should look at these staggered issues in the perspective of sustainable management, and when considering the benefits brought about by economic development, we must also consider the environment, culture, the survival of indigenous peoples and the costs of unjust distribution. (Extended reading: Chai Jing to the Chinese government: we are all under the same dome, and no one can hide )
"We should recognize the different voices in our society in a more organic and joint way," he said. "This is a knot for Su-Wen's lawyer. after listening to her narration, I feel that the so-called organic, joint and several refers to, each event is a living, dynamic and many oriented. The occurrence of events is the influence of many factors, so entanglements into a tangled line difficult to split. The practice of Su-Wen's lawyer is to make a good understanding of this living event and to observe each of the involved parties impartially without first limiting the line of sight to the subject matter of which they are most concerned, and to treat different opinions as enemies. so that we can fully understand where the incident came from and where to go.
due to the irreversible nature of the environment and culture and the current situation of the excessive development of cement mines, Taroko and Asian cement cases seem to be better judged, but in fact, there are many things in society, not one such as "sustainable protection" generally need priority care of the value, even so, Su-wen lawyer's share let me see, What is valuable is the courage and humility that is willing to plunge into uncharted territory. This is the people in different environments, dealing with different matters, all need to learn.
We are fragile in love: Everyone needs someone who can make you cry on his lap.
"In a person's life, there is always unintentional injury, or hurt others, perhaps at that time you are too small, do not know how to protect themselves, or do not know why hurt others." And intimacy is special, it can rewrite their life story, and their own, and the world reconciliation. 」
while sharing life experiences that have been constantly broken and revised in the social movement, Mandy's lawyer mentioned intimate relationships. it seems to her that people are always seeking something in intimate relationships, such as interaction, trust and understanding. That's why intimacy is essential to everyone. (You will like: The true picture of gay love: love, have blood and sweat )
"I learn how to be vulnerable in intimate relationships, and when I'm younger, I get complained about ' you don't listen '." Because I used to, do not know what vulnerability is, when the encounter things, I will quickly say I think this matter how to solve. I am too resistant to negative emotions, want to quickly put the blame on the task orientation, solve the good. But in intimate relationships, God, that's definitely not true. The other person does not have to solve themselves, she wants your company, she wants you the same. That companionship may not need to be said at all. "Su-wen lawyer admits.
This description of his young self, let me recall the beginning of the visit, her eyes smiling smiling smile, told me "you want to win each other's heart." So soft sentimental she, and young when only want to solve the problem of attitude, is how different ah! She showed in front of us, how a person in love to become soft, so learn to slow down, learn to wait, learn compassion and common sense.
However, is it necessary for a person to learn to be vulnerable? Can't we just be tough? as a man who once ran away from frailty and now embraces the weak, she shared her fragile recognition:
fragility makes our lives a possibility of a standstill. Stop, not only can relax, breathing, but also make you more soft, easy to feel. Sometimes, in order to maintain their strong, will force themselves not to feel, so you are a lot of things, is numb. and you have limited your own thinking, believe that you insist on the unshakable. This is dangerous, but also hard.
"Once I was really upset about one thing," said the lawyer, "I'm on the couch and I'm talking to Jie (my lawyer's partner)." Then to clean also did not say anything, let me lie on her leg, that time I cried for a long, very very long. She touched me, accompanied me, and cried for hours. 」
"That seems to have really cried for too long, haha." She smiled with a little embarrassment and said, "It's a positive companionship, and I think it's not easy." The other side does not interfere with how you solve, also do not urge you not to cry or refueling, but to give you full trust and support, I believe you will be better. 」
bring a companion to clean, show cam lawyer exposed exceptionally gentle eyes. "My imagination about intimacy is that two of people walk side by step, and whoever falls will pull each other." You don't accuse the other person of being so careless, but reach out and let the other person borrow. Also believe that when you fall, there is always a hand in front of you, as long as you reach out, you can hold. So I didn't seem to be so afraid of negative emotions. The lawyer said, sharing with us the energy she has gained in love. the gentle and meaningful mood, let people listen to, or want to have a good talk about a love. (same field Gayon: new film!) Angelina Jolie and junior talk about the way of love: I trust you unconditionally .
A big girl? a little girl? size is the concept of a flow
A couple of hours of crying on my partner's leg. This story impresses me deeply, I realized that in a stable relationship, because trust each other, and can restrain oneself worry and love dearly, with the other party wants the way to accompany him. because of such trust, a strong and rational in our eyes, good expression of the big woman, in front of the intimate partner incredibly also have fragile, love spoiled one side.
As a woman obsessed with the 5/28 women's Day activities "embracing diversity" speaker, Su-cam to share with us her imagination of the big woman:
I like small more than big, because what things plus small are very cute. For example, a fool is a curse, a little fool is flirting.
Su-Wen's lawyer told the Truth and was amused by himself. "The standard of a big woman is actually not a single one, because the concept of big and small is flowing." If we blindly pursue "big", sometimes it may present itself as greedy or deficient. For example, economic development, we are in pursuit of prosperity and more prosperity, assets are bigger and bigger, but when we move towards the only high goal, many costs, costs and sacrifices will be overlooked. "(Recommended to you:" big Woman Writing "story Qianhua: The world is very big, not everyone love Me )
"I think it is important to stay white, a house even bigger, if you are stuffed with things, that space is meaningless." There are times when we need to stay white and need space. The concept of size, absence, and actual situation is relative. But this is not to say, ' Big ' is bad, big is a vision, we can see the long-term, so don't lose heart. "Su-wen's lawyer made a very Zen, but endless conclusion."
Su-wen lawyer for big imagination, as women fans hold big women's activities of the original intention: no framework, no limitations, we invite everyone to brave out of the comfort circle, do something unexpected, define their own big woman.
from her share of the story, the "Big woman" has more level of understanding. Sometimes, big, not necessarily the pursuit, the opposite, is inclusive. As with the initial visit, Su-wen's lawyer demonstrated how to face dissent: Listen, empathy, acceptance, and try to shake your heart with the frequency of my heart beating. so the determination and courage to embrace dissent, let a person realize the style of a big woman.
to be such a moving woman is not innate, nor is it a speedy one. Su-Wen's lawyer in the movement repeatedly polished himself, in the intimate relationship for each other to adjust and learn, although the path is different, but the purpose is very consistent: it is the courage to love. (same field Gayon: Big Woman's marriage proposal: I think I can take care of this man. )
do you feel it? in the social movement, in the initiative legislation, in the big woman and the young woman's discussion, surging the Su-wen lawyer to the crowd, to the society, to the world's affection, that lets us believe, if we can together gentleness, together frail, together feeling, then, a kinder, more relaxed, A more forgiving and delicate era is coming.