In the face of the emancipation of sexual conception, the rights and interests of heterosexual must be paid attention to. Let's listen to what the CEO says!
Xu Xiuwen, as a lawyer, is also the CEO of a partner union. The active promotion of "multiple families and Three laws" has been over six years, but has not reduced the desire for the National People's intimate relations to strive for the greatest interests of enthusiasm. "I'm going to break the habit of myself and the masses!" We can not accept, you have to test in order to know. "said the Su-wen lawyer firmly.
It's never easy to get out of the closet, I'm lucky I understand my family.
In fact, when I was a child is a lot of words of children, although withdrawn, but I and mother almost nothing to talk about. But around the time of my college and research, my mother began to realize that I had less contact with her. She was distressed for this matter for a long time, also very sad, and even cried to ask me: "When exactly is the beginning, you no longer talk to me?" 」。
Looking back on the course of life, I began to wonder why I had to choose to be closed at the time. Such hidden ego, also will be a lot of feelings hidden, including love, friendship, family, I began to hide their many faces, actively do not expose themselves, but also let part of life into a blank.
Until later, my mother asked me: "Do you like girls ah?" "I can only admit, to their mother out of the ark seems difficult, but also really let me breathe a sigh of relief, we cried together, and once again narrowed our distance." I felt a lot happier on the one hand and thought, "If this thing can happen earlier, we may not be able to do that." 」
Luckily, my mother could accept the fact that I was gay, but dad didn't seem to be able to take it right away, so we chose to hide it from Dad. After a few years, my mother suddenly told me: "I have told your father, he now knows." (Recommended reading: Please kindly refuse to break into the campus "anti-marriage" letter: My child is gay, I still love him )
My life is really very lucky, because I have a positive help me layout "smoothly" mother.
Legally recognized as a "happy family", not what I can imagine.
Childhood composition topics often appear "My volunteer", there should be a lot of people will write "Hope in the future can build a happy family", "marry/Marry a person you like" and so on. In retrospect, I found that I had no such wish from a very small one.
I was born in 1972, before martial law. From small to large, all the families I can see, the women in marriage, the roles they play, it's hard for me to imagine that I will play very handy in the future, even the role that I will be willing to play.
Simply put, it is hard for me to imagine what role I would play in a marriage under Taiwan law.
Taiwan's traditional "wedding marriage", to become someone else's "daughter-in-law" and "son-in-law", although the significance is not the same, they carry a far cry "cultural expectations" baggage. Now there are many women, can be financially independent, life has a lot of choices after, in fact, no longer think that marriage is the inevitable choice. This is the reason why there are more and more people marrying later and unmarried in Taiwan, and it is a very high proportion.
More people are beginning to think that marriage will lose their freedom and that marriage is a heavy yoke of two men. The travel union has made a cohabitation questionnaire several years ago, we found that: Taiwan has a very high proportion of heterosexual, gay couples are cohabiting, did not choose to marry, and cohabitation time is also very long. It is understandable that homosexual couples do not choose to marry, because the law is not yet allowed; but why do heterosexual couples who marry can only choose to live together? (Recommended reading: Cohabitation before marriage: Love a person, not necessarily love him all )
Perhaps we can start to think that the current marriage system, although it helps us to set the majority of the rights and obligations, but has gradually not meet the needs of everyone?
The law should not define our intimacy, and the state needs to take a second line.
As a lawyer, I have never seen any client, before marriage, open civil law relatives, read in detail the rights and obligations of Taiwan's marriage. Almost all came to the moment of divorce, only to find that I once entered a system like this.
What does that mean? Why is it that so many people can get married without looking at the law and how to regulate it? Because our country's legislator, has already done the very careful law, the right duty standard in the marriage system. In a way, it is very thoughtful to help you conceive, but on the other hand, it also deprives us of the possibility of freely arranging our rights and obligations in intimate relationships.
This is why we have to introduce a partnership system and a family system to allow the country to take the second line of the "intimate relationship arrangement". In terms of a companion system, the two partners must first sign a contract, the consultation housework how to divide the division of labor, how to share the cost of living, whether the two sides should assume each other's legal heirs, property distribution, and if the future unfortunate break up, if there are children's partner, how to share the responsibility of parenting and so on. (Recommended reading: graduate from a relationship!) From Selina divorce thinking intimacy: breaking up, not just a standard script
These responsibilities are distributed in the hope that all people, before entering into a stable and intimate relationship, should put aside the romantic and face specific rights and obligations. It is a test that we dare not be honest with our partners to express our needs, and we can understand each other. I think it is very important for my partner to negotiate with each other in different needs.
The companion system allows unilateral lifting, so many people worry about fear: "That is not very easy to lead, as long as the other party does not like, a letter of cancellation released our relationship?" "People who have this kind of questioning, I often ask:" That aside from the partner system, if you want to end a relationship now, but the other party do not want to end, do you think this can be done? "The usual answer is" can be done, "that's right.
The law cannot compel anyone to remain in a intimate relationship; What the law can do is to guarantee the establishment of this relationship, and the distribution of rights and obligations related to the process and termination.
Try to use the law as a coercive means to maintain the stability of a relationship. To me, it is a certain degree of freedom of escape. Imagine that we are a pair of lovers with wings, then we are to spread the wings wing, or we have to because of the limitations of the system, cut off each other's wings, to facilitate our together?
This is a very different choice.