the Spring Festival, many comrades returned home with anxiety.We all know that the test is after the marriage, and the same is true.Comrade, I only wanted to pass a year without false alarm.
The Spring Festival is approaching, and the entire city enters the countdown to the return of excitement and anxiety.It seems that the modern city, once again, can return to the modern rural prototype of the year.
You finally snatted your tickets, squeezed the high-speed rail passenger, and dragged your luggage to the table. After the elders' relatives warm up, the problem was immediately followed by the question. "Where is it?"Do you have a lot of pay" Is it a male/girlfriend?" When will you get married?" You think you're here, not like people, like a rich dish in front of you, and you're going to be treated like a topic.You have already done a thousand times in your heart. Every time you go to a dining table, you are still sitting on a needle.
The usual day, the physical space between the two places provides a safe distance.However, during the Spring Festival period, the whole family spent time and time with a high concentration of time, and there were many situations of unease and self-suppression.If it goes smoothly, it can safely be used as a safe house, but it is easy to generate a lot of tension and friction with the intensive coexistence.The Spring Festival is often a time when comrades are out of the closet.
She unexpectedly came out on New Year's Eve
The Gay Hotlines Association publishes the (2013) book, which includes a number of cases in traditional festivals.Reading the story of Ching Ching, you understand that the closet is not a moment, but a long way.
Tsing Ching is a lesbian.After dinner on New Year's Eve, she stayed with her family until late at night, and she quietly returned to her room to talk to her girlfriend.The mother who had already returned to the house did not sleep, but quietly listened to the whisper of the youth in the next room.In the early morning, the mother seemed to be unable to put up with her. She ran into the door of the Qingqing room. She had a record of her blue cellphone. She asked, " If this girl is only a good friend, how can the phone talk about that long every day!"
The suffocating silence is spreading in the air, and Qingqing has not said anything but tears, while the mother turns away to leave the room.That whole year, neither the mother and daughter ever brought up the matter.
Next New Year, Qingqing decided to come out again and bring my girlfriend home.She will write a letter from an early age to the history of her comrades and to her twists and turns.The mother used a few short sentences to support her: "You are my favorite daughter, no matter what you do, I will always open my arms and greet them.""
story doesn't stop here, and the mother has accepted the sexual orientation of youth, but she cannot accept her appearance in a masculine fashion.She still looks forward, hoping that her daughter will be able to show her women's gender style, "If it's a girl, why can't she be a beautiful lesbian?"Even after seven years of being out of the closet, the mother still has to reject and fall off his shoes from sneakers to his chest every year.For Qingqing to come home for the New Year, it is still a way of feeling pressure.(Extended reading: gender perspective: retrofitting Tsai Ing-wen?What we look forward to, "The Female President" )
Raw Saw After Out of Cabinet
In the post-fairy tale, the prince and the princess face challenges after marriage, and the appearance of the cupboard may also be the beginning of another family tug-of-war.
Since coming out of the closet, from feeling to health, all the measures are easily viewable, and the comrades must continuously reach out to their elders to reach their intimate relationships and their partner issues.The challenge brought about by the cashier in the family-associated Chinese society is to let their parents face up to one thing. — You and them have grown into a different independent individual.Xu Xingrui, director of the education promotion department at
gay counselling hotline ", said in the interview that the real differences between the two sides are to be faced by the immediate family after accepting the gay identity.During this period, the labor pains were actually from the two sides of the parent-child relationship, and eventually the separation process of the two independent individuals would eventually become the two independent entities.He encouraged fear of returning to the New Year to adjust the number of new Chinese New Year activities, whether year by year, or "walk away". If you don't want to go home, you don't know how to pull away from it, and you're hurting yourself.
Not everyone has the ability to come out of the closet, but if you choose to come out of the closet, you need more empathy and patience on the road.Hsin Rui suggests that starting with the life history of a peer or family, you haven't changed since the family has been lifted out of the closet. It is a relatively moderate approach to support yourself and combine the two strategies in terms of the authorities' belief that the family believes it.
Or, come out with your parents or run away
However, the Chinese New Year is as anxious as the parents of some comrades.
A " was very early in coming out of the family, and her parents liked the partner of A, and everyone had a meal together, but each time she was coming to meet relatives, the parents of A were more anxious than A.
"We know that we like girls and we support them, but in these few days, can you pretend to be" normal "?The parents of "A" asked them, "They just want her to work together for a few days."They suspect that they can accept their daughters as their parents, but others may not understand it.In one year's dinner table, they are unwilling to take risks to challenge the traditional social framework and come out of the family.
is anxious to return, not just a single woman, a gay person who overflows the patriarchal framework.As long as this society continues to tie the parent-child relationship to a suffocating, parents feel obliged to account for their children to other relatives. It is also a pressure to exert pressure.Because of this, when the comrades came out, their parents were still stuck in the shelves of traditional values.
This year, A program takes advantage of the Spring Festival travel of parents to help them get out of their way, and help their parents escape the anxiety that they face when they face face-to-face questioning.And thanks to the Internet, people can finally leave the room full of pressure by phone and the Internet, and more actively create a space for their families to spend time with their families.
2018, let gay couples discuss who to return to New Year
first half of 2017 on the eve of the Chinese New Year's Lunar New Year was published in Apple Daily's A3 marriage advertising campaign, and scored a lot of comrades in the heart.
Picture Source: Matrimonial Right of Matrimonial Platform
May all be more comfortable, "he said." May all partners do not have to return home to celebrate the New Year. This is our expectation for the next Spring Festival."
to marriage equality legislation does not solve all the problems at once, but it provides legitimacy through the law so that communication has a more specific prerequisite and foundation, and can be more free from the social level (not just by personal efforts), " he said.At least next year, gay couples can have the chance to be more likely to be able to think about their heterosexual couples, and discuss who should go back to the new year.