"Daughter letter" mother, you leave the life you want to me, let me go for you

I think you made me want to be independent. You put the belated lesson in your life, early into my life, umbilical cord blood, through the birth canal pain, give birth to a baby, not like a woman's second life, like let me live for you.

So entangled for a lifetime, you have seen in me your unfinished destiny, you coax me to learn the piano, I bow hand type let you comfort and lost, as a child wayward, I said I do not want to play the piano, the piano bitter, you repeatedly asked me, eyes sorrows; I imagined myself in the mirror to become you, resistance and sweet emotions difficult to distinguish, I wish to be a mother? Can I take care of my life, but not mine?

Mother early Let me learn to be independent, have the ability to go out and find a way home. As a girl, to have the ability to act, there is a way to have poetry and distance, otherwise everything is vain. What I understand in her is that it is hard to become a mother, dedication, unnatural, the child was born, with children as the center of the day, always accidentally threw himself out of the circle. (same field Gayon:a letter from a 25-year-old daughter to her mother: how I wish to return you to your lost life )

We see ourselves in each other, small shadows, the future or the past.

She said, do not think you really have someone to spoil you should be, your life, success or failure, not all depend on who. Blame is a kind of laziness, entrust is a default, the mother let me live a free life, just know that the back of freedom is self-discipline, to be responsible for their own mistakes.

Grow up to look back, those repeated recites badgered, all like she said to herself, like a mantra, after reading, there is a person can remember for her. My road to independence began very early, after school I walk a Long way home, a small head, feel that I can go anywhere, there is nothing to fear.

And the mother in the year 50, children have left home, set foot on the road of independence, like a long time fate, road resistance and long, learning to their own happiness.

So mother, I want to write a letter to you.

(Picture Source: source )

My dear you, remember I seem to have asked easily, what is the most bitter of a woman? You side of the friend Lol said probably is the physiological pain, you think, say is married to marry the wrong person, a kind of easy to believe wrong pay. You add, bitter ah, is to get married can be once and for all, then know the life of their own reliable, you should try to live a life of desire, you said that they understand late.

You have a sense of awakening taste, unfortunately the past flawless self.

You told me about the marriage of that age: find a person who is willing to take care of you for the rest of your life, you become his family, so you will not go. Do not go sometimes is willing to, sometimes can not, find themselves gradually lost the ability to fly, the family become familiar with the secure place, deceived eyes are open windows, the window scenery, as day after year.

"may not be bitter, but occasionally think, if there is a second life will be." 」

I've always known you, you love painting, you're carrying a diving license, you are the basketball team captain, open the young photo album, you are the most unrestrained, standing posture Big 咧咧, you have free soul, eyes bright, then you meet Dad, married, gave birth to us, practice to be a mother, missed second life. What do you want to do, you said you did not have time to think, then just want to marry, probably the day is easy.

The days were easy at first, but that's for sure, Sikong's family distribution, because A and B's sloppy, like a complete subtraction of a person. Want to once and for all, the result is labor for a lifetime. The labor of love, the sweetness of the load, the beginning of the world, I rub into the texture of your life.

And you let me be a free child, you make my life a lot of additions. You told me, my life on the purple bucket number is the same star, the child Ah you know, live to a few years old are easy to be happy, children temperament, a lot of people want to go where to go, is you ah.

I feel that you have given me such a fate texture, sewn into my palm.

I am a conceited child, with a lot of stubbornness alive, but you never stop me from doing anything, you never meddle in any of my decisions, you are not even afraid that I will screw up my life. You have not worried about me, and occasionally you also read Me, "You child stubborn, to understand weakness"; Occasionally you say that if Taipei is busy there is no need to go home often, and occasionally you say that I am the daughter who has always made you proud.

And you let me be a love of wandering children, a person can stray, because he does not have to look back, but also know that there is a home behind, and the home has you. I later thought, this is also the selfishness of the children, with what guard house as a mother's duty, our sense of reassurance, is the mother in exchange for years.

I often miss that year, I am in France, you come to see me. We are not with the regiment, intend to be free to do. That is your first time to go abroad, customs clearance, you do not understand English, hands and feet gestures, look flustered and excited trembling, you say long-distance plane is very long ah, here all strange, fortunately you come to meet me. I want to cry, feel you like my child, I want to tell you what is freedom.

You are like my child, freedom, mother, you taught me, you let me, you give me the life you really want to me, let me go for you.

We buy vegetables in the Paris supermarket, the black area lost, you in the strange city, finally have a maiden look, you borrowed my international student card to go into the art gallery, we cheered; the South Law driving travel, the day flies very slowly, the wind blows fat our skirt, your face is warm by the sunlight, enters the small city, I follow behind you, helps you take a picture, You bite the Madeleine, turn back and smile bright.

That year, I saw the scenery with you

You are not whose mother, you do not carry who responsibility, you are not anxious whose life, we are two free people. I secretly see you, your face has a beautiful to do not know how to enjoy the expression. Later you told me that it was the happiest moment of your life, and it was good to live so.

In retrospect, I owe, I have always been more timid than you life, because of receiving your blessing, unexpectedly also live boldly free. Do children like privileges, enjoy priority over the resources of parents, I am your source of not free, I was born, your pain on my body, like the umbilical cord, because of love, you put better to me. My life grows out of your life, squeezing the nutrients you deserve, and love and pain are so close.

I am also grateful, "July and Life" in the mother said, "The girl can walk a lot of lives tossing point may not be unhappy, but very hard." "But you grew up, never scare me, want to go where to go, freedom is sure to be hard, you joke, that not too early to get married Ah, in the world more fooling around to play for a while, lest regret." (same field Gayon: single Diary: If you want to love, Love like July and the same )

You are very cautious to yourself, but very tolerant of me.

I have not too much desire for marriage, about you and dad, I actually at both ends are distressed, so say very xiangyuan from, but I do think so. I do not hate anyone, not even a pity, your relationship how to turn to be children to hate it? If you can, I want you to go earlier and decide earlier that you can't and don't want to live with this person.

Very small, I looked for a bookcase, accidentally see your diary, you write down a lot of do not understand, the pain is very three-dimensional, there is another mother living there, whispered and sharp doubt, "why do I suffer such treatment?" I crept back to the bookcase, and something was opened forever. You are the most uncomfortable, I still do not understand how to accompany you, perhaps is the most I regret.

Time passes, like an hourglass, you gradually can also say to me, initially we silent cry, later also can laugh, hourglass, years of love is so slowly dispersed, this is very neutral fact, will not cut me or brother, we are your children, if you can make a wish, the most hope is that you are happy, our life is their own responsibility.

You are such a pit scar scar, become a mother, love dispersed, you still stand there.

Unpaid motherhood, emotional labor, hidden costs, often write similar articles, think of your nouns are not far away. Think of you shouting family off TV table for dinner, turned back to the kitchen to cut vegetables; think of you because I have a fever body perm, was read how not to take care of the child (obviously I have fun to catch a cold); Think of you is such a love of Freedom Sagittarius, longing for the distance, but with a litter of children; I feel like I'm going to keep writing, in your direction, Writing is a sense of empathy, all that you experience, loss and gain, value and worth, I want to know.

After all, the privacy of writing, the idea is public. I have always believed that writing can be for us, but also for the girl behind, in the intersection chisel open more junctions, the original such life is beautiful.

People say cancer is a maternal epidemic, perhaps not in me. I used to talk to my partner about the fear of having a baby. I said I was afraid, I am afraid of pain, I fear the birth canal torn me. You know, maybe what I'm really afraid of is having such a complex and intimate relationship with a life, caring for a life that comes from you, and, inevitably, losing a little of yourself. Perhaps because of love, really want to subtract their own, call the dear little things, in the bosom, see him crawl forward, springing up, away from home, one day away from you.

After the child has come out of the birth canal, continue to practice leaving. And you have been doing well, the distance is appropriate, close to let me feel close, far enough to let me grow myself; you've been doing well, we are your first decision, love to support you, next to internal injuries, the line is very long and far; you have been doing very well, after the 50-year-old mother, when the children leave home, you raise a cat for yourself, shout it is called pomelo, Scratch the belly, feel the need, do not want to give the child pressure; you've been doing so well that I wish you would be selfish and more considerate of yourself.

You have to think more for yourself, you have to live for yourself, as you always told me, I want you to be a selfish mother, I want you to practice all, you have been shy told my dream, open a shop, a person to learn language in Italy, I want to bless all you make for yourself decision. (You will like: not perfect mother, children happier )

I want to tell you, as you once told me, wherever you want to go, you have a life of freedom.

There are always dangers, you do not fear, freedom must be hard, hard to make life have a sense, like a pinch pottery, get full hands muddy, the real determination of their shape, initially to crooked. Also don't take who as the center of the circle, so can go to where, all site rooting.

The essence of life is independent, you entrusted to me, I would like to return to you, your mantra, I have been remembering for you, did not forget, freedom, you have given me the most precious and most painful gift.

(Picture Source: source )

And my dearest you, learning to be the mother of the end of the day, the next to learn to fly, you have always had wings, and I think in your hands in the heart, also sewn into such a fate.