"Gender Watch" Why our society is rich in "acquaintances sexually abused"?

May 24 Noon, Qing College student A in their own face book publicly wrote an article about them a group of girls to go to Taipei to participate in the Big Machine Cup, boarding in friend B groom happened in the candid camera incident.

A student wrote, May 20 the day, b first Bath, turn to a, she accidentally dropped the hook on the door, hook is too difficult to Ann door, so a look at the back of the hook, only to find that there is a USB jack.

A's first reaction is to find novelty, after all, friend B has a lot of High-tech products. But this novelty was maintained for a long time, as it turned to the hook front, and she saw the pinhole lens, as well as the power switch.

A stunned, she and other female friends after discussion, a group of people do not know how to understand such an event, the suspicion of friend B? If the misunderstanding, B will not feel very angry or humiliated?

One of the girls found that it was a hook-and-pin pinhole camera, which was sold on the internet.

Later, in order to determine, decided to first look at the bath before the bathroom has not been undressed to confirm the facts. Before clicking on the film, b admits, "Actually ... I recorded it." 」

Finally, they went to the police station to report the case, and the incident was written on the face book.

A student said, "This incident if I do not say that I would feel sorry for any possible victim ⋯ (⋯) Just hope that no one else will suffer, that's enough for me.

If anyone feels that we are cruel to do this, it may ruin his life, and I want to say that we did not destroy it.

If I do not open, of course, the simplest for me, I do not have to worry about retaliation, do not have to face the public opinion, to save the super much trouble. But I will feel that I am very selfish, because I only protect myself, I only care about their own knowledge, I am surrounded by a good friend is likely to be victimized, I will promote social unhealthy, so that men think that even if the violation of women, women are not afraid to speak.

Weigh the pros and cons of these things, and I think I have to tell them.

Of course, I also have a little personal motivation, that is, I feel very tired of hiding my feelings ⋯ (slightly) ⋯ I feel really complex, also very uncomfortable, all this is really ironic.

I want to say that the victims are right, they don't have to flinch, they don't need to be humiliated. I did it not just for myself, but also for the unhealthy social trend. I don't hate B, not gas B, but I have to do it. 」

To prevent the heart of the people can not be no? This statement encourages the culture of sexual violence in acquaintances

A the students and her friends are very brave, not only to take legal procedures to report the case, but also put this incident on the network, honest to tell you face acquaintances, may be due to the trust of all the psychological transition and difficult, she described the size of the process has its necessary, which allows people to see, sexual harassment between acquaintances, or even sexual assault, Why is it often the number of black figures reported.

However, there are also many people on the internet criticized a, that they should not report, should not be public, this is to "destroy a person's life."

It is also said that the creation of a rich acquaintance sexually assaulted the society, the acquaintance of sexual assault on the perpetrator is too easy and convenient, sexual assault victims, if the story, the society also speak for the offender.

According to the statistics of the WEIFAO department, more than 10,000 victims of sexual assault reported each year in Taiwan, nearly 80% of whom are acquaintances, such as lovers, ex-boyfriends, friends, netizens, classmates, relatives, etc.

Regardless of the sexual assault of the acquaintance of the black number, we can not help but ask, why the proportion of sexual assault so high? Why do the perpetrators tend to choose acquaintances?

In fact, sexual assault is not the "Dianne" of the rapist, and more than 80% are premeditated, planned, tempted and prepared (F. Herman, 1988), the time to wait for the victim to strike. (Extended reading: a reflection on the major sexual assault: Why "Protect Yourself" has become the amulet of sexual assault?) )

To sexually invade a stranger, the fact is that you have difficulty in planning and arranging it beforehand, if you want to ensure that a successful implementation of the plan does not come to light, the cost of time and energy to treat a stranger as an object is huge--not necessarily at the point of time you expect, to arrive at the desired position, to react beyond imagination, to be armed, Maybe it's a boxer in a career. There are too many possibilities, too high a risk.

Sexual violence is one of the few types of violence that must expose one's body, especially the genitals, that expose one's physical weakness, which is also very dangerous for the perpetrator, who must be careful to minimize his or her life risk through planning.

The most likely to be mastered by the itinerary, manner, personality and psychology, the most information about the object, is an acquaintance. Acquaintances sexually abused, the risk of failure is relatively low.

It is also why acquaintances are vulnerable to children and teenagers who are less powerful than adults-not because every rapist is a pedophile, but because the perpetrator is the safest person to violate underage children. Many people think that rapists will find children because of personal paedophilia, which makes it easier for society to associate paedophiles with rapists, which creates a blind spot: only paedophilia can rape minors or children, but that is not the case. (Extended reading:"no longer silent" to the Society of Heartbreak Confessions: I was three years old, began to be sexually abused )

Therefore, children's sex education is so urgent, it is so important that if you continue to treat sex as a taboo, the child will not be able to help because of the sexual stigma that the society instilled in him or her, and would rather fall in love with the perpetrator and tell himself that it is not rape, as long as I pretend to be willing.

Most of the sexual assault is done by acquaintances, the real sexual assault is not necessarily accompanied by violence, after all, psychological and verbal coercion for the perpetrators of the lower risk, the acquaintance of sexual assault so less resort to weapons of arms and guns and other forms. The perpetrator was also easier to justify: "I did not intimidate you, I just said a few words, and you did not say disagree." 」

The victim listened to these words, stunned, I did not have a positive resistance is to agree, he felt that he was also wrong, also never dared to say.

Sexual abuse between acquaintances, once the export let the perpetrator appear, interpersonal circle of trust relationship is difficult to maintain, the victim is easy to be questioned "you are actually voluntary", "you have another map." The perpetrators are also well aware of the use of trust, power and resources to distort the facts and discredit the victims and to stand on the side of the perpetrator.

The sexual assault of an acquaintance is really too easy and too convenient for the offender. As long as the sexual assault is completed, the whole society will cover for him.

If the victim is to be blamed for "no protection of human heart", is to enter the cultural trap of the acquaintance of the invasion.

Compared to how to prevent, we would like to ask: why this society is rich in "acquaintances sexually abused"?

Rather than telling your child and telling yourself "how to take precautions," we want to ask why this society has made it so easy for "acquaintances to sexually invade".

The absence of sex education and the taboo of sex, let people have a sense of shame on sex; acquaintances sexually assaulted, so that victims in order to maintain their reputation in the interpersonal circle, and not to ask for help, which makes acquaintances sexually assaulted the risk of violence is lower.

A Xiangyuan from, like to maintain a superficial and pleasant society, one like to blame the victim "Why don't you Resist?" Why is it that there is no protection against the human heart? Society, a society that likes to review victims, is more likely to produce "acquaintances sexually abused".

How to reduce the sexual invasion of acquaintances, there are several ways:

1. Starting with sex education

Sex education must teach children to understand sex, to know the true appearance of healthy and agreeable sex. Let him know that "no matter who" is sexually violent against you, you don't have to be afraid of asking for help because the whole community will support you.

Sex education is also to prevent people become abusers, to children from small respect for the physical autonomy of others, sexual autonomy, to people from childhood to know that the use of sexual power to control and dominate others, is a very shameful thing.

Our education is just the opposite: we avoid sex and make sex a shameful thing, and our education has the power to dominate children, to obey authority, and to be complacent.

2. To establish a social environment in which victims feel safe and willing to say

Sex education is also oriented towards adults, when someone encounters an acquaintance sexually invading, he had to understand that this was not the victim's "temptation" or "self-love", and that the victims and their families did not need to be ashamed of themselves, that they should not be afraid of being branded as shame by their own circle of society, by the greater social imprinting, and that the number of black numbers of acquaintances could gradually (same field Gayon: Taking part in filming Lady Gaga's confession of the campus sexual assault: "Society should stop blaming sexual assault victims")

When the society stops blaming the victim, when more parties are willing to show up, when an acquaintance sexually assaulted the perpetrator, "the cost of risk" is too high, it will really have a deterrent effect on the perpetrator, can also clarify the occurrence and reason of the acquaintance sexual assault. And through such information transmission, let people know how the future can prevent the occurrence of sexual assault.