Accompany you to grow up in the youth of their high quality friends, in your sad time to take your gentle feelings, know that someone in life watching you every moment, perhaps this is the definition of happiness.
Grow up, only to find that the time is still left around the most precious people, those who do not understand the temper, he can understand your emotions in a single glance; do not have to contact every week, for a long time no news, he knew you are stuffy head to hold the daily pressure, carry a dozen beer home chat night mindless, the pressure is still heavy, but know someone put your mind , you can be energetic and continue to work hard.
According to Phillyvoice , the study of Rachel K. Narr, PhD candidate for Clinical psychology in Virginia, found that if you have a higher quality of friendships during adolescence, you will be happier when you grow up than those who have high quality friendships after adulthood.
The stills of Flowers and Alice
About the definition of high quality friendships in life each person may be different, but according to Tooby and Cosmides (1996) The Friendship Psychology, may list several neutral examines whether the friendship has the high quality several conditions:
High-quality friendship: one eye to understand each other, life is indispensable
- Are you irreplaceable for each other: when the other person needs help, be sure to help them as much as possible and choose each other at a time when they need to make a choice.
- Do you bring positive externalities for each other (positive externalities): because the other person's influence makes you better, or you get windfall profits.
- Are you able to read each other's minds: through the tone and subtle facial expressions, to read each other's emotions, to understand each other's thoughts.
- Do you have the same interests: by understanding and participating in each other's interests, which have a common appeal to you, to learn from each other and to share.
Researchers at the University of Virginia selected 169 people from different races and economic backgrounds, aged 15 to 25 years, to ask teenage children questions about their friends, in the process of investigating their anxiety levels, peer acceptance, self-worth and depressive symptoms, At the same time, the researchers will chat with their friends to find out how they perceive the respondents and assess their friendship status. (Recommended reading: becoming a producer, not a consumer: a real good friend doesn't just consume you .)
The results showed that people who had high quality friendships at a young age (15 years) were happier than those who had grown up (25 years). In addition, the subjects with close friends and girlfriends are also less likely to have anxiety, depression, and a sense of self-worth and identity.
Teens close friends, they understand your temperament, but also in the process of getting along, live more and more similar, he is an important factor in your life, but also your growing process indispensable.
Dear, to share with you the three stages of life that are shared with your adolescent friends, from the past to the future, these feelings are profound and lead to the intimacy of your life.
Our common youth: You share all my life experiences
"Friends of the Week" stills
Adolescence, like a distant dark tunnel of light, you in this tunnel desperately squeeze out the way you want to be, in the dark to outline self-worth, adolescent friends with you through this thick black exploration, with you fall together, giggle together, together through the ugliness of adolescence. (Recommended reading: The old friend sheet: in front of you, I always assured fragile )
According to Ericsson (Erikson) Theory of psycho-social development (psychosocial developmental theory), human life is divided into eight stages, each of which is a continuous process of personality development, and how the development of the previous stage will affect the ability of the next phase of settlement, 12 years to 18 years of age, the task for the Self-integration (identity) and clarity of the role of the ego confusion, through adolescence, through the peer to establish and self-identity process, build the direction of self-identity and self pursuit.
Your life experience always has his appearance, the young old friend accompanies you to walk through the spring Green's flurried and the ecstasy, the total time, gradually formed is you grow up appearance.
In the face of unknown days: You let my life depend on
The stills of Flowers and Alice
Young friends let you know that there is an emotion in life called "sense of belonging", where they are in the place you feel peace of mind, know that someone always put you at ease watch.
According to the Tavistock Clinic, a 12-14-year-old child in the face of interpersonal relationships, it is often necessary to face two forces, one is "desire to be accepted", the other is "fear of being excluded". No matter what kind of entanglements, all want to find their own position by others, and in the development of the ego, the molding process is also deeply influenced by the values of others.
He let you in the desire to be accepted when found a place can safely drop their sadness, hope that they can be gentle to undertake, they catch your deep sadness, in the face of the unknown days, they let you understand that your life has a safe place to rely on.
You have made me discover the vastness of the world: I want to grow up to be a good person for you.
The stills of Flowers and Alice
Growing up, he keeps you from discovering the vastness of the world, and using his life experience to take you around your little world, open up your vision, the past did not think they will aspire to the surging sea, but in his eyes see the vast sea and gentleness, did not think will learn the diving movement, now just want to learn, and then go to the world together to explore, Look at the scenery in his eyes and live closer to freedom. (Recommended reading: a letter to an old friend: Resign!) I support you to leave the courage to live a stable life.
According to the Tooby and Cosmides (1996) Friendship Psychology mentioned in the previous article, his personal qualities become a positive external effect of broadening your horizons and touching different things, and you find yourselves in each other's different qualities, appreciate each other, and unconsciously find the direction you desire to grow in each other.
An adolescent friend makes you a person you never thought of, but finds a better, more open self in the process.
When you grow up with an old friend, half of your life experience is accompanied by him, you walk through the adolescent rape little evil, tease each other to do harmless silly bad thing, immature revolutionary emotion initiation; The first taste of social alienation, smile to see the reality of each other refueling, from the life of the gap in their own perseverance, grow up in the years to support each other's backbone.