Sex Watch, talk to your mother about sex, sex education in the family is difficult to start, but important.
"I want to know what you're fighting for." 」
I want to talk about sex with my mother when I go back to my hometown on holiday. My mother asked me, and then threw a big question, "What is gender?" Why is sex related to us? 」
I thought to myself, good question. Mother 50 teenage this year, through most of life, a composure suddenly found that the world order became a little different-all she used to and got her own rules, suddenly loosened.
The proportion of women with higher educational qualifications increases, women join the career practice dream, marriage is a personal choice, no longer as a guide to women's happiness or not; Gay parade advocates freedom of love, the May chancellor of the Constitution, the two-year law or legislation to protect same-sex marriage rights; raising a child is no longer a part of the responsibility to name a parent, to protect parental leave, A mile along the way for children to grow up together. (Recommended reading: do not get married can it?) --Single parent to break the imagination of the core family
The film "The Death of the Wicked Woman" stills
Female, feminist, feminist movement, for the mother is a very strange noun, I follow her eyes, see the Changing world, 50 years old, her bones have the past dogma, at this moment feel like a newborn baby, to adapt to this increasingly good world. She asked what the sex was, and I said that gender may be the source of all problems, or it can be the solution to everything.
For the first time, we talked about sex education in our family.
Sex education in the family, a 50-year gap
Sex education in the family is also a new concept for the mother.
"The original family education, but also to include this piece." She said timidly, "but I did not learn about sex, and the two chapters of the health-care textbook were always skipped, and I was groping on my own ..."
Sex education In fact very life, also worth landing family. For example, very practical, perhaps every family has happened, when a mother caught masturbating adolescent children, how to talk about this matter?
This thing in the past no one to teach, and can not find data, as parents have to face the gender of the flawless, exactly how to open the mouth. (Recommended reading: adults and children should take a class: Because of sexual anxiety, more need for sex education )
VCDs "Mrs. Naylor" Stills
In their more sexual repression of the age, sex is a dirty word, to shut the door to do secretly, to say that exports are very obstacles, the heart naturally to their own condemnation also have anxiety. Mother has a unique gentleness of her age, she quietly put a box of toilet paper in the children's room, face embarrassed to wash the children wash dirty sheets.
I said, you want to try to talk about it? In your comfortable way of saying, when parents can talk to their children about sex education, in fact, both sides are liberated. Sex is so natural, when you talk about it, you won't continue to replicate unnecessary "sexual shame".
And the child can say, "Dear child, the sexual nature of this thing, can start from the exploration of their bodies, you go to know yourself, understand how you feel comfortable." About the cleaning afterwards, how we can do it. And the mother will respect you more, next time to enter the door will remember to knock. 」
If the family can have such a dialogue, is very lovely, the child will feel the parents amiable, originally we all walk in the study road.
Sex education for girls and sex education for boys
My mother kept asking me, "Does that girl have another education?" "Perhaps this is also the question of many parents, sex education should not be due to gender differences?"
My mother and I seriously talk about the profit and loss of logic, "in the sex-related things, men are no matter what is earned, women are always in compensation." "Obviously having sex, can be both sides voluntarily also likes the action, but in earns the compensation logic the hint, lets the woman feel oneself has lost, also is difficult to pursue sexual pleasure." The boys, therefore, encouraged by the "earn", engaged in the "sexual adventure" again and again, by "conquest" to prove their male charm.
Sexual power relationship, in fact, through family education to flip and subversion. Through the family, I hope that the sex education of boys and girls in the future will not have to be different, because the goal is to encourage the child to explore the lust, to understand themselves, to actively perceive what kind of intimacy they want to act.
So, girls no longer have to be "shou-ching Education", don't feel their virginity to "stay" to whom, no longer will only receive a message of "Remember to protect yourself"; the boy no longer feels that sex is the "last Gift" that a girl can give him, and that he will be able to respect and know that sex does not have to be a conquest, but a process of mutual enjoyment.
Growth experience, our family also did not have sex education, I went to high school, and even signed a Zhang Shouzhen card, in front of the class to raise their hands to swear, not unmarried sex. And I remember the first time I told my mother I want to stay at my boyfriend's house, the silence of the phone, then I feel silence is silent anger, now know that silence is the mother's helpless. The child is big, sex comes in, family sex education forgot to pave the way beforehand.
At least it's time to start practicing. The mother said in a lovely way, "maybe next time consider putting a Okamoto 001 on the Children's table." (Recommended reading: talk to kids about sex education: Taiwanese parents, you don't have to be so jittery )
Gender wars of different generations: what is needed is not confrontation, but dialogue.
A breath of talk a lot, mother's face has Grand expression, like gender consciousness slowly loading. I think of the mother and the child in "Goodbye to Lenin" and realize that many times our critique of "tradition" is brutal. All those who are not progressive, old and not sleeping, we all loudly protest and forget that they are convinced of these doctrines because they have been oppressed and regulated by dogma.
The fight against dogma, but also the face of these "lack of progress" of the people. We live in different environment and context, the most need is not confrontation, but dialogue, the tide of the times, can be scrolling is also a cross generational gender change.
Mother said that the changes in the past few years, such as the blank was suddenly filled up, but also thanks to this era of encouragement, "Women to independence, economic independence, emotional independence of those, help me a lot." "After 50 years of age, she thought about her life and realized she was stronger than she thought." That's not what it used to be.
"I used to think that marriage is to find a personal and secure, to find a person who loves me, the actual reason is because did not believe that they do, feel that there is no ability to feed themselves, as if only dependent on the life." Not now, I was living so big, for the first time I believe I can do it. (Recommended reading: "daughter letter" mother, you leave the life you want to me, let me go for you )
Mother returned to work after she was more than 40 years old, rolled up her sleeves, run up the business, the housewife opened another identity, she is the mouth of people's two-degree employment, for her, but more like to find themselves, do not have to do a only hope that their own captive bird, can wing to fly, fly to all her yearning place.
Women's power is not just slogans, feminism is close to life in order to liberate and give individual freedom, no sex, no age, no generation. It's supposed to be a battle that everyone fights together.
Sex is what, go back to mother to ask questions, think about it, probably difficult to answer with a simple equation, perhaps he should be an open answer, let everyone to fill in the answer, everyone to exchange their own answers, and I am convinced that such family discussions, take away the generation, open discussion, in fact, is a very good sex scene.