An interview with the Modern Women's foundation: girls have very little sex language, even say cool is very difficult, how to say is violated?

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We've been reviewing the victims anyway the perpetrator of the presumption of innocence

Gender violence is particularly tricky. In the past, the public focus is still on reviewing the victim, is your dress too short? Did you not refuse? Did you go out too late? Always go back to the victim to know how to protect their own warm propaganda.

20 years ago, Taiwan, like India, had a poor solution to the victim's marriage to the perpetrator, "because there is no problem to deal with." "The Posture Stone shakes the head." "Why do we assume that sexual behavior in a marital relationship is desirable?" 」

And found out that we were all the victims. We ask, have you refused? How can you refuse? Is kicking him to scold him to beat him, or how resolute say not? It's weird. Why do we suppose that if a person is silent, it means that he is willing to accept all kinds of sexual acts?

In the event discussion, the actors are always invisible. We never ask the perpetrator, why do you think the other person agrees? What's the reaction of the other person that makes you think you can do this?

"Self-preservation has been shouting for 30 years, not to protect the useless, self-protection also has the limit." But why don't we communicate? Everyone has to be respectful of other people's physical rights.

Thus, the Modern Women's foundation this year only yes means Yes slogan initiative, advocating sexual consent right, but also actively invite girls to participate in the discussion of sexual behavior, sex is not you take me to, and not only male ejaculation on the end, but both sides enjoy the process.

Wu Yu, director of Public marketing Department of Modern Women's foundation

Yes Yes and no no one's sex is bingo to the end

The right to sexual consent is a new concept, some people ridicule, that is not every sex to sign a consent book? Are you going to ask, "Can I caress you?" "Reflects the whole society's imagination of intimacy.

Sex is not a barrier, do not expect sex is a group of right and wrong, sexual consent is a continuous process. "We want to talk about the importance of" getting the consent ", do not default on the other party will be willing. The right to sexual consent, of course, can not only be asked, the question and answer is only a pattern, different situations and different partners, should go to explore their own mode of consent. 」

For example, to light a candle, to imply that you want to, or to arrange an intimate signal, sex is the participation of both sides, and of course the discussion.

"Nobody's sex is bingo in the end, I may be yes Yes and no, because you make me uncomfortable, or I do not want to be pregnant, I want to stop, I want to be able to refuse." 」

The fundamental meaning of yes means is to assert the positive consent of both parties, and the active party should bear more responsibility and realize that silence does not mean consent.

We also need to train the active party to ask, to feel the will, the other to express themselves and not, through words, through the body, through the code.

Female sex language is very few, even say good all very difficult, how to say to be violated

We encourage the victims to speak out, and in fact it is a problem to say.

As long as you think back to life experience, you will find that girls have little sex language. It's hard for us to talk about our desires, to talk about our own comfort, to talk about ourselves, and to talk about sex with a deep sense of shame.

For example, when she went to the male school to give a speech, asked the boys, today a girl told you, "I really want to have sex with you", what do you think? The scene boy is tongue-tied, good Open ah, then have the voice said, this girl must be very frivolous, very dissolute.

Girls say no, people say you are actually want to, the girl initiative said to, people say you debauchery, many girls even penis, vagina, sex, sexual intercourse are difficult to say exports, how to talk about sexual assault? Sex for girls, mostly closed doors to talk about things.

"We want to encourage girls to be closer to their bodies, to explore, to know what they want and don't want, and what they want to do," she said. 」

Ying-stone sharing, the previous modern women's Fund has done sexual consent right of the investigation, the topic is very simple: girls can speak to ask? 60% of the people said that girls can not say, of which more than 50% of the boys, more than 70% of the girls, even girls feel that they can talk about such things?

Society to women's collective discipline and constraints: we can not take the initiative to say we want, do not understand how to refuse, uncomfortable and difficult to say export, now it is time to change.

Women often have collective repressed phenomenon, should start from education

Data show that the Home Riot Bulletin, from the past sporadic thousands of, and then to the last year to inform the case is 130,000, growing every year, compared to 20 years of sexual assault cases, the annual report is 10,000, there are many black numbers.

In cases of sexual assault, we have been reviewing the victims, anyway, the presumption of innocence of the perpetrator. The burden of proof is at the victim's pressure, which is why so many victims are unwilling to report and take the judicial route.

We use chastity education to warn women, emphasize the importance of the body, relatively speaking, the rights of the body matching is very few. Pose for a situation, "Today you have a sum of money stolen, whether you are asleep, or you do not loudly say no, each other crime, the police will help you recover." If you think about sexual assault from this point of view, you will find that our body is lower than the wallet, there is always a tangle of how you refuse. 」

The presumption of innocence in criminal cases is justified, but the crime of sexual assault is a violation of will, can we talk about "will"? Can we ask the perpetrator how to conceive of the other's will? Why do you think he agreed, and then to see the difference. The perpetrator should not disappear.

The real emphasis is on respecting the wishes of the victims. If the victim feels compelled, we will give him the appropriate resources. Look at the black number of sexual assault bulletin, it is not so many people willing to "step on the victim's position", even say the feeling is very difficult.

Traced to, boys are often encouraged to take risks, girls are educated to protect themselves, for the concept of sex, there are fundamental differences. "Wait, in the heterosexual relationship, the boy has to take risks," he said. "Always can't the boy take the risk of good bang, girl adventures good dirty."

From education to start, good attitude advocates, the right remedy, the male and female version of the design to be different. The men who are often hinted at taking risks should learn to respect and train their perceptual abilities, and the other is to be with not? If he refuses, how can I be graceful?

Women often have collective oppression, they should be encouraged to have more dialogue and groping with their bodies, to find their own sexual language-what I want to say, how I say no.

Under public opinion, everyone could be the perpetrator.

There have been a lot of cases in Taiwan. The most painful thing for her is the 2013 dental case, said Ying. The perpetrator is a dentist, drugged by the victim, and then inserted with a massage device, because the force caused the stick body broken in the body, the woman's nakedness bleeding.

Physically injured, the perpetrator more in the network to put words, said a lot of girls sexual characteristics, so that she is easy to be recognized by the masses. At that time, the law only restricted the media can not disclose the victim's message, has not yet standardized other people, public opinion, such as floods, women's physical and mental trauma, embarked on a suicide jump.

"Under the public opinion, we are all the perpetrators." So in 2015, we fixed a law on sexual assault and crime prevention, restraining anyone from disclosing information about victims through the media. 」

Laws passed, to look back, to see the inadequacy of the law, to more actively catch the people who have been missed. "What we are doing is a cycle of better regulation through the system to avoid more injuries to future victims," he said. 」

How did the modern Women's foundation go through the past 30 years? Not good enough to change, there is no consensus on the initiative, sports than the gas long, who can go far, who insisted long enough, you could loose change, see the layout expansion.

such as the posture and good posture such as the gender movement is gradually more, they said, the initiative process has setbacks, many difficulties, but if not afraid of failure to adhere to, really will see the vision in the near future.

How I look forward to one day, we can see, gender violence elimination, Gender justice everywhere.