"Sex watch" when he said "no rent to a special industry woman", why am I ashamed

"My house only rents the person, does not rent to the income is not stable, engages in the special profession the female." 」

See this line of words, I froze. The typing hand began to tremble, and I was outraged, felt humiliated, and poured into hundreds of emotions.

Photo source |pexels

All of this, the origins of self on the internet to help friends look for rental housing.

It's not easy to rent a house in Taipei, and it's hard to find a reasonably priced clean apartment. After looking for a long time, the rental housing community finally appeared in accordance with the conditions of friends look forward to the apartment, only a rare total did not mark the rent, inquiries need private inquiry.

Rental housing has always been a seller's market, in the case of the landlord refused to sign the rent, the tenant is extremely unfavourable.

My private inquiry, the other side said that I have to give the budget first, completely unwilling to disclose the rent. The landlord, who had never met, used the lease as a rich-world auction site, asking the tenant to bid, but not the auction site is open and transparent, but also justified himself. "I'll give cases by case price, if the offer is not enough, it's sorry goodbye." 」

Photo source |pexels

When I expressed the refusal of parity game, to quit, the other immediately angry, "do not say that their own budget is inferiority, earn more points to come again, inferiority to go to see a psychiatrist, need me to recommend it?" My house is only for the purpose of renting, not rent to the income is not stable, engaged in special industry women. 」

I was trembling with anger at the moment when I saw the word "do not rent to a woman who is not in a stable income and is engaged in a special profession".

A group of people who work hard, will still be humiliated by their sex status.

The first time, I was angry about what the other person said I am engaged in special industry women.

I was ashamed to have come back, and as a feminist, how can I feel that being engaged in sex work is a disgrace. In the past I speak for sex workers, shouting work in addition to stigma, except the crime, but the truth is, my voice is only with distance, today I found that the original those can not be me, I do not want to be treated like this.

The moment of anger and shame, I also suddenly understand how the sex workers in daily life, how difficult, how to be repeatedly humiliated and spoiled by society, how not to be treated as a person.

I also know that as a person, no matter how hard I work, my feminine identity will always give others the sex to humiliate my gap. I think again, the successful, then the global influence of Hollywood actress, still suffer from the threat of sexual assault and fear.

Photo source |pexels

Then I shut off the window and started to be angry with myself, I have grown so much, but I still have to be amazed at the sexual harassment and slut humiliation, I still do not know what to do, still feel angry, even some fear.

I am reminded of countless experiences of fear of being a woman, including the initiation of verbal sexual harassment on the road, stalking, verbal sexual harassment and even humiliation by taxi drivers. I think of every time I am shaking to escape from the scene, even if learned to fight back, tell each other this is wrong, the other is just angry, the end, in order to ensure their own security, I once again quiet down, suppress anger and fear, and then leave the scene.

Thinking of this, I can not centering work, decided to be a little earlier on the internet to tell partner Audrey, asked her to encounter verbal harassment when all how to do. Audrey said she had had such experience in France.

"Walking on the road, someone said to me," you owe dry Asian sister, "I was very nervous to run away (also very bad), on the one hand do not know how to respond, there is a part of the startled, on the one hand is worried about the response to the more harm. On the other hand, the language is not good enough (no way to scold back in the same fierce language, you owe to beat the French and so on). 」

Audrey told me, so she was walking fast, "because I wanted to deny anyone the chance to yell in the street. 」

I think of my walking speed is also fast, think of me on the road almost not with the stranger eye contact, is also from the past bad experience accumulated into self-protection, into the body, originally, this has become more or less common body habits of women. I used to think that it was the only reason I walked fast.

TiMidity is a social process, a woman's body must learn to be timid, must be ready to escape from the scene, women in public body is never relaxed, always vigilant.

Knowing that Audrey has had such experience, I feel that my anger and insecurity can be understood, that I am not alone, and that I feel my strength return. I know that as a woman, we have more to do for women.

#itmatters: Your discomfort is not a trivial matter.

I recall that, in the face of sexual harassment and humiliation, we never had SOP. Childhood textbooks teach: "Step on each other's feet, elbow hit the lower body," and how many times can the real use? What should we do when we are sexually harassed? What should I do when I have sexual harassment in the workplace?

There has never been enough female experience to appear, like a perfunctory script such as the elbow, enough to be used in all situations. There are thousands of sexual harassment, objects and relationships have thousands of species, how it seems that in addition to foreign bodies invading the lower body of the behavior, the other is small, "these you endure a endure on the past." 」

But why do women always have to endure? Why is our discomfort not important? Why should not be good to tell, see and solve? Why can't we be very angry? Why not tolerate it, no longer?

We have always been taught that this is a personal encounter, personal matters, as long as not causing physical harm, your fear is only neurotic, unimportant, endure a good, you have other important things. So we do not know that there are so many other women with us have the same experience of harassment, we do not know how this is around the daily life.

So, see each other once the encounter, is the first step, understand that we have encountered but do not know what to do, is the second step, admitting that our discomfort, is never should be handled small things, is another step. More friendly sex environment, has never been able to overnight, are relying on step by step, each step forward is better than parked in situ. Women's history is very long, can have a seemingly relatively friendly situation today, are in a century of time as a unit step by step.

All sexual discomfort is not a personal matter, there is always another person, in addition to you/you, is or is going to experience. When we all start to say, when we all start to take this as one thing, you will find out what a huge, structure-like event it is. IT matters. It really does.

Tell us about your sex story and tell us about your discomfort and let your uncomfortable experience show up. invite you to use #itmatters to say why gender is important to you, and the discussion of gender is never a trivial matter and should all be addressed.

The Global Gender Impact Award , gender is daily, and each of your involvement is important. #itmatters