10 Seconds of Courage! TED speech: In the most fearful moments, there is the strongest you

Have you ever been overwhelmed by fear, losing your feelings?

When we talk about courage, we are not afraid of everything, but when you feel the ultimate fear, you can still see the faith and desire that you believe, take a step before you are knocked down by fear, and fight for your desires.

To share with you the Nadine Champion in TEDxSYDNEY's speech, as a martial artist with nearly 30 years of experience, she learns to feel the secret of courage through her own practice of martial arts: fear can weaken you and cast you.

This is me, I have always been very fond of martial Arts.

This photo was published in the local newspaper on Christmas Day, and I didn't wear Christmas clothes like other kids, but I showed my muscles. Since childhood, my mother gave me a label: a girl can do anything. And I think of it as my belief that I am desperate to get a black belt in the martial arts field, and this desire is even greater than the desire to breathe.

So, I really put in the martial arts field, I spent a lot of time to practice, finally, I let my dream become a reality, I really got the black belt.

Through these training and recognition, when I was 19 years old, I thought I was a very good defensive person, even you can say that I am a bit tough, until one day I was a person in the night bar work, I found that the truth is not the case.

There was a big fuss over the drunken couple at the bar, and I fought them up, obviously, I did not win, and was beaten full of injuries, the man who clamped me, with his fingers furiously poked into my eyes, he wanted to dig out my eyes, fortunately he did not succeed, to assure you that this is still my real eyes (laughter).

But the fight made me understand something very important: "I have been living in the image I have created." 」

I thought I was strong enough to face a fight, but the truth is, when I was really in a fight, I didn't know how to handle it, I had some fear, and after I knew it, I had two choices:

One, continue to believe in the strong image that I have created in the past, let my fear make me flinch, evade to face the truth, or, I have to face my fear, put down the dignity of the image, find someone to teach me how to defend myself. (Recommended reading:"Ding Juan column" not only have to be hated courage, but also have to lick the strength of the wound )

Make a choice is very tangled, but I still choose to face my fear, to my teacher is my present husband--on Miyagi, learning martial Arts. He is in the field of Taekwondo and martial arts, is an undefeated world champion, but for me, he teaches me outside martial arts, but also through teaching my inner practice, exercise my thoughts, even my heart.

Anyone can teach me how to kick and kick, but when I was 20 years old, let me learn "how to live a better life", really deeply affected me.

I spent all my savings that year, I trained with him in L.A., I grabbed every opportunity to learn, and wrote down every word he said. ' Many people confuse people who use violence with warriors, but that's not the case, ' he said. ' We fight to explore deeper and more authentic self through the process of fighting.

When you stand on the ring, you can not avoid, you can not avoid your opponents, you can not avoid the real you. When you face threats and fears, you can have any reaction, and you will really find out how you face your fears and how to use your courage.

My teacher has been very fond of teaching me about fear and courage practice.

When I was 24 years old, he put me in a boxing match--a world-class boxing champion. That guy was great, and I was really scared of the game. The difference is that on the day of the race, this terrified opponent, constantly teasing me and teasing me with some little gestures, I was unhappy with the behavior, and I was overwhelmed by anger, and then I heard my coach shouting in the corner:

Change your mind and change your mind.

The coach asked me to change my mind, I didn't know what it meant, my opponent was going to kill me, I was on the pitch, and the coach didn't let me leave the game early.

After the game, I was angry, I was angry about how my opponents ' bad behavior affected my performance, and my coach just looked at me and said, "Oh, did you get knocked down so easily?" 」

I feel like a little girl who's been teased and dumped, the coach even told me that he asked my opponents to make these unreasonable attitudes, and he hoped that I could learn from this experience that when you face severe tests and setbacks, the only thing you can master and control is your reaction and your thoughts.

The lesson is that when I play, sometimes I get knocked down and beaten black and blue, and at that point you have two choices: either you fall down and let your emotions crumble, or you can choose to stand up and punch and redeem yourself.

The subject that the coach gave me was still not finished, and he gave me a young man to train the young man had a mental challenge, although his physique was very strong, but my instinct drove me to take care of him, not too strict with him, after a few days of training, my coach called me to say: "I think you are embarrassed."

The coach made it clear to me that my students wanted to be trained as well as I did, that he had the right to accept the challenge, that he had the opportunity to practise bravery, and I took his chance. Like my past experience, all the opponents of my practice fought me with a relaxed attitude, just because I was a girl.

So the thing is, to make someone strong, you have to give them a chance to grow.

I've been with a lot of students at the training ground and they always ask me a lot of questions about self-identification and internal contradictions: Who am I? What was I fighting for? What is true of me? These men, known as warriors, usually do not have the stereotype of warrior Gao Gong's physique, full face tattoos riding on Harley-Davidson locomotives, they may be the ordinary female students with blond hair hanging glasses.

With regard to stereotypes as a thorny issue, I may, for example, expect to be a strong fighter with a muscular belt in the public eye, and it took me a long time to face the social vision of a girl who was really soft and alive in my heart.

What I learned in my training was that I finally had the courage to live my life as I really am-the image of that girl.

As a warrior, I want to discover more levels, more authentic selves, and when you stand in the ring of the game, you are facing your truth.

It is inevitable that you will hear your fears and face them in the game. Before the battle, every time I walked into the locker room, I felt the sultry temperature and smell, and I could feel my kidney line soaring, the fear and nervousness coming at me, and before I went out to face the competition, my thoughts could become my biggest enemy.

At that time, your enemy is yourself.

You have to learn to control your emotions, and stress, you have to learn to turn your inner fears and doubts into smaller voices, and amplify your self-confidence and power. I used to like to listen to music before the game that would make me feel strong, but my coach told me a secret weapon: when you need to feel brave, it takes only 10 seconds to look into your opponent's eyes.

When you look into the eyes of your opponent, you see who you really are and why you are standing here. At that moment, you can not pretend to be strong, you have to lose the camouflage and fear, face up to the challenge, you have to straight out of the fist, in order to survive difficult, exhausted their own efforts.

Even though in battle you are laid a fist on your face, whether this is a fight or any of the difficulties we face in life, you must open your eyes to the hurt, and if you turn your head to face it or run away, you will only suffer more damage in combat. You have to face up to the challenge and stand up and defend yourself. (Recommended reading:"Our generation" courage is to harness fear, not without fear )

Some pain and frustration is unavoidable, it is important that we use what mentality to face the battle of life.

In the past, when I taught my students about fighting skills, the experience of growing up taught us to avoid suffering as much as possible. But what do you do when you are in a real life where you can't avoid and can't turn around? You have to learn to fight for yourself, you have to learn to face the pain.

In this photo, my finger was broken by an overly violent fight, but I had to finish my game, so my coach was trying to put the boxer in my hand. Although the pain made me want to give up, but in the end I still survived, and in that game to win.

So, if we do not face fear and insecurity, those emotions weaken your willpower and control you from within, but fear and pain also offer another opportunity: you may find the strongest self when you are most afraid.

I know that because I finished my cancer treatment a year ago, in order to treat cancer, I had to spend months practicing radiation therapy and chemotherapy, which made me feel extremely uncomfortable, so I would play my battle music in my headphones on my way to the hospital, like before the boxing match. So I had the guts to go in and get chemo.

Until once, the chemo process broke me down. In the course of chemo, the paramedics couldn't find my veins, because of the past chemo injury, my veins were broken, that made them feel crushed, and they completely crushed me physically and psychologically.

So I stood up and walked down the hallway, crying for a long time, where I spent a long time trying to find my way out of life.

At this time there was a voice from the depths of my heart, it said, change your mind. So I closed my eyes, give myself 10 seconds to regain my courage, and then walk back to the clinic, complete my treatment.

If my martial arts training really taught me anything, not really let me learn to face all things, but let me have the courage to encounter a seemingly extremely difficult, let me deeply afraid of things, willing to have the courage to take a step first, when you start to face, the most difficult part in fact you have crossed, We are afraid because it makes us feel uncomfortable.

You may need 10 seconds of courage to tell your child the fact that he or she is divorced; you may need 10 seconds of courage to tell your family that you think you'll never be able to say it out loud, and you may need 10 seconds of courage to show the doctor what tumor you have found on your body.

These, all need real courage, I never feel very brave, but I think the key is: You must continue to learn, and to remain grateful.

I don't have a day to be thankful for what I learned in the ring and in chemo, sometimes, the bravest decision of your life, there will be no shining scene waiting to glorify you, it is usually quiet, it happens in the only you know, small and trivial daily.

Just because I know courage needs practice, it is because of knowing that strong people may have been wounded once, this is the reason that women fans choose this year I love my day to talk about courage, many times fear will make us shrink, many of the ridges that make you stumble are hidden in your heart, many life, unbearable light, is from the accumulation of life in the depressed.

Don't let these fears and difficulties knock you down, try to stand up in the fall, one practice at a time, accumulate your courage to face fear in your life, and someday you will thank this indomitable self.