"Relationship Diary" to a Lover like Gucheng: There will be pain in love, we'll come out eventually

"I hope that
Every moment,
are as beautiful as colored crayons.

I hope
Can draw on the white paper that I love,
To draw a clumsy freedom,
Painting the next one will never,
Tears of eyes.

A piece of Sky,
A feather and a leaf that belonged to the sky,
A light green night and an apple.

I want to draw the morning,
Draw the Dew,
The smile that can be seen.
Drawing down all the youngest,
There is no pain in love. 」

I remember the first time I read Gucheng poem, probably high school, is very like. There is beauty in his poems, innocence, ideals and freedom. Gucheng is a Chinese obscure school, the most representative poet, his poems often have painted aesthetics and imagery.

Later went to find his story to read. Know that he began to write poetry at the age of five, dropped out of school, the poet once said, beauty is his eternal pursuit; knowing that he and his wife Cheille met on the train and fell in love, and then married and had children; know that he has a lover called Ying Son, is "poetry" editor, Gucheng, Ying Son, Cheille had had three people life and contradictions; knowing that he had killed himself many times, All to Cheille saved back, know he finally in New Zealand, with an axe for manslayers wife after hanging himself. That year is October 8, 1993, Gucheng's brother received a call from him, Gucheng only simply said, "I hurt Cheille", the tone of desolation and despair, that is the last phone call Gucheng.

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Gucheng beautiful love poems, leaving unknown and a bloody. I froze, only to think of two words of horror. Your close companion, the end of your hand, ends your life, you are not even on guard, and you never thought that he would hurt you. Gucheng's poem wrote, "I am a wayward child, I would like to wipe misfortune," but did not think he and his partner's life at the end, he personally left the unfortunate. (Recommended reading:"Relationship Diary" Saint Laurent and Pierre: You have betrayed me, but you are only me )

Descendants ask a lot, what led to Gucheng the last for manslayers wife and madness?

I read the commentary and wrote that Gucheng has always had suicidal intentions, and Cheille's companionship is his perennial redemption. But in the end, Gucheng can not accept the lover of the British son Renegade, more unwilling to his wife to his worship disappeared, the initiative to seek, hope to divorce, he felt that he was abandoned, painful writhed, chose to kill Italy. He started quickly, regretted afterwards, but was too late, and ended his own life.

I see comments, many people pity the Gucheng, unfortunately a generation of wit fall, but no one pity Cheille, no one pity a only because of the hope of divorce and was taken away from life.

Because of emotional frustration and kill, never only gucheng one person. More often than not, the victim died without a word, not a pity.

To this week Taiwan spate "Qingsha" news, I think for a long time, think of Gucheng, think of his regret tears. I also think of myself, think of myself feel afraid. It is simple to say that a person is ill, it is convenient to say a person is evil, it is easy to say a person is a horror lover, tell yourself I will not be the victim is OK, tell oneself the event will not repeat is also safe. (Recommended reading: sex watch | From three of hate killings, see why Taiwan Society abounds in terror lovers? )

However, I think at the same time, everyone has such experience-we have been faced with the loss of love, found that the heart of the original good pain, so the day collapsed, difficult to themselves, the heart is unwilling, the world will be decadent. Then we ask ourselves, why is he/she doing this to me?

In such pain, how can we face ourselves, how to see lost, how to cherish the feelings, how can we actually return to ourselves, care and repair, rather than throw the hurt out, think who must be responsible for us? This problem is very difficult, but good must, which one of us is not using life experience learning? The same heartache, but some people choose to set foot on the road to cure, some people choose to go to hurt others hurt themselves.

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I was wondering if it was a vacancy for emotional education, let many people face the pain of lovelorn, still feel ashamed, nowhere to vent, blame the "is he/she sorry me", shame sense to resolve only hurt, many people finally choose suicide, he may not be able to face his emotions under the action.

And when we look at heterosexual intimacy, it is still difficult to remove the dependent imagination, love doping control and possession, the woman to dedicate, the man to hold, love repeatedly think, is that you must belong to me, I must have you. But I have always felt that love is not taken for granted, there is no control, but there are ideals, but also freedom.

Intimacy is the two of unrelated life, choose to accompany each other to take a ride. In the middle, two people have their own wills, responsible for their own lives, which must have heartache. Often in the heartache after, more understand, the other side is what, I want is what.

So, dear Gucheng, even young love, there will be pain, our eyes may still shed tears, but do not be afraid, do not worry, do not blame, we are also learning, the first to return to their own. There will be pain in love, we'll come out eventually.

This week, I think of Gucheng. Thought he said, the night gave us a pair of black eyes, but we use it to find the light. If there is darkness, I hope we do not fear in the dark, to see the world there is light, but also good.