A love letter to a graduate: in an age full of genius myths, the best myth is to find yourself

Women are obsessed with graduation season, inviting editors to write a love letter to their graduates. I sit in front of the computer and think about what to write because my graduation story is not inspirational or stimulating, it's about a lot of lost, anxious, worried and confused. The thought of confusion may be the common feeling of the graduates before they feel they can share something.

The love letter begins with a secret that has never been told: after graduation, I spent a whole year doing nothing. Yes, just for a whole year.

The thing is like this, as the system leader, I am very lucky, the necessities of the community without worry, can not concentrate on reading, in the score-oriented into the mouth of the group of the first volunteer to attend, continue to study exams, but never really asked what they want.

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University in the last year, all the students devote themselves to the preparation of the Institute and the national Test, these are good at the various examinations in the top, one by one to reorganize into a familiar battle posture, back into the "Big exam mode." Watching everyone in the library K book, enrollment Cram school figure, thinking of such a reasonable career, and its style of life, my footsteps stopped. This linear, conceivable life, is that what I want?

I can't be sure what I want, but I can be sure I don't want anything.

But when he stopped, he felt more frightened. Because then found that those who knew their "unsuitable, do not want" classmate friend, very early through the community, organizing activities, and so on outside the school and other schools to explore their own interests and ambitions. And I unexpectedly on the eve of graduation suddenly composure come over, in this everyone to prepare to enter the workplace, or into the next round of the new stage of examination, I do.

22 years old I made a decision that still seems to be confused and bold enough: put down the secular time and rhythm of 21 years and decide to explore and develop your interests in as many directions as possible until you know which direction you want to go.

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The loss of direction is very painful, but also this pain, let me feel unusually keen on their own, but also give birth to the strength of the implementation (survival).

Interested in the design, to set their own learning plan, on the design of courses, to the relevant department of friends to consult; passion for Japanese literature, with an average rate of one per day, the Kawabata, Tanizaki Ichiro, Natsume, Mustard Ryunosuke, Tai Slaughter, Village Dragon, Murakami, Kitanshi first-class writers like to read all the works , curious about how fashion is produced, reading a great deal with the fashion industry, cultural research-related books, from the Simply wish "the city of clothing and clothing" "capitalism with Monsters", to the "popular conspiracy", fit professor of fashion primer, etc., in the long history of fashion, there are two favorite times: 1920 The roaring era, the age of deconstruction in the 1980 's.

1920 's costume embodies the first shock of gender roles: During the First World War, women carry men in the army left by the domestic labor, binding the body of the skirt gradually appears anachronistic, the era of demand hit the post-war accelerated consumerism, the new fashion was born: Chanel and other designers from the female demand, all kinds of reform women's Full-gush, Skirts short, women wear trousers, cut hair, the whole society to greet the "Girl Boy" trend.

In the 1980 's, I was fascinated by the Antewerp Six, a Belgian six-man from the fashion center of the fashionable frontier, absorbing nutrients from a distant Japanese designer, challenging the contours of the human body and challenging gender boundaries. Study of the latter, let me get a grant to live in Antwerp for three months, also spent more than half a year, in a few favorite Western European cities to walk a lap.

After returning home, I went into the Design Institute of Practice, but also confirmed one thing in the course of implementation, rather than doing, I prefer to study.

High-end fashion talk about subversion, bold move to flip the gender stereotypes, I see a more free world of the possibility of flower; During that period, I also talked about an age gap 17 years old love, faint feelings of strange eyes, "silly sister" Was cheated "and so on the label by Outsiders light paste, the relationship between the true state of the situation as they think, this thing I know, but posted for a long time but also doubt themselves.

In addition to the closest friends, I do not dare to let others know this relationship, even if it brings me a lot of peace, strength and courage, to hide the partner, I have guilt. The internal and external pull for a long time, found that "gender" and "age" stereotypes not only in outsiders, but also deeply rooted in the body to have a strong torment. In order to solve their own puzzles, the motivation to ask how the gender framework is generated, want to get to the bottom. Around a great circle, I left design school to study gender and culture at the London School of Economics and politics.

LSE Library Burn
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It's not the sex study that determines the path of the rest of the life. After graduating from the institute, I was still involved in the workplace in accordance with the diverse interests I had previously explored, I have been a design publishing house editor, have done music history Museum planning, published the award-winning music books, in different fields see, not only their own gender framework suffering, workplace, social pain point or a lot, and I can not ignore, There is no way to give up your voice, to not try to make a change, but to find out that you are still doing gender initiatives.

I have considered that the most efficient way of gender equality initiatives is through the media. I want to know how far the gender issue can go in the business market, and to create a more liberal sex landscape with like-minded people, and then come to women fans.

As a whole, such groping, not more than a year, but more than five years. For five years, many college peers have been partners in law firms, or have opened their own, some have become judges, some have been elected to politics, and some have started their own business as bosses.

It took me five years to explore all the things I wanted to do, and there was a lot of anxiety and worry, because there were few predecessors on the road to this tortuous polyphony, and I didn't know anyone who had the same twists and turns as me. In the era of emphasizing that the profession must accumulate vertically, I rather let others seem to have an incredible level of spread, but I know that I can only go this way, and therefore have seen many wonderful scenery. Where there is a crossroads, there is also a garden.

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Until now, in the life inevitably ups and downs, I began to appreciate the graduation year to let go of myself. From that year began to explore, let me raise a lot can support their interests and enthusiasm, so there is a huge network of interests can support themselves, can always find new ideas and fun in life. I also thank that year's anxiety and melancholy, let me have more empathy for people, let me understand the body and the person is absolutely not "not so", always "different also do", to people can always have more tenderness.

Now I am still confused, but more than six years ago has been insignificant, but also gradually learned to appreciate the opportunities that can be lost, know how to appreciate and record all the scenery along the way, know how to cherish the present.

Time, not just to build work experience and resume. "Graduation" is not only "into the workplace" such a thin meaning, it also includes, we have to start full responsibility for their own lives. is also in this point of graduation, we hold the "try" qualification and opportunity, if you are also the test often win the army, may have been confined to further study thinking, did not have a good thought of what they want and what not.

Everyone has their own rhythm of life, like the Golden Ivy and Banyan Tree, no need to compare, so never to find too late, these are exactly the right to fall in your life time.

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So, if you want to give the graduates a love letter, I would say, don't rush, walk slowly. In this age of youthful genius myth, the real myth is to find yourself. May we all find our own abundance and peace in our own rhythm. May we all be a free man, tender to ourselves, gentle to those around us, and capable of giving back to the society that nourishes you. Happy graduation, New life in the front like a full treasure, waiting for you to explore it!