Technology has brought convenience, but it has also spawned a new type of violence, which is being built on the psychological control of the perpetrator over the mob.

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"The temperature controller has been tuned up 100 degrees Fahrenheit and the smart speakers are starting to play deafening music and the whole family is losing control ⋯⋯"

Recently, in the New York Times article cited the new generation of domestic violence by Smart Home (original: when smart home to become a home abuse "accomplice"), when remote control of air-conditioning, door locks, lighting technology become the Gospel of lazy people, but it is inevitable to be used as harassment, One of the means of control: the perpetrator was able to remotely manipulate the electronic products of the household through an intelligent mobile phone, thus achieving surveillance and control of the mob.

In other words, who knows how to operate electronic products, have a password, who has the ability to control the other side.

Because is the family, because is the lover, each other's intimate relations lets the person put down the vigilance, but unconsciously, was mastered own every move. How does technology become an accomplice to intimate violence? In retrospect, violent acts such as technology have emerged, such as sexual violence on the internet, as a threat to the spread of intimate images, such as between lovers. (Recommended reading: emotional blackmail: What to do if you are confronted by someone who controls you with fear, responsibility, and guilt?) )

Yet the violence of intimacy, the imagination of society, and the help that can be given, remain in the traditional physical violence.

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Venting is just smoke bombs, control is the core of violence

From the 2016 survey of the Department of Health and Blessings, it can be found that the types of intimate violence that Taiwanese women suffer from are: mental violence, physical violence, economic violence, stalking and harassment, and sexual violence. Among them, the maximum number of mental violence, among the 17-74-year-old Taiwanese women, about 1.9 million women suffered from intimate emotional violence.

The new type of domestic violence, which is extended by science and technology, is often constructed in the spirit control of the perpetrator to the violent person.

The Manual on the prevention of intimate violence, released by the Ministry of the Interior, mentions that violence is not just a stark vent, but it tends to mislead people into violence because the perpetrator is enraged. The core problem of violence is control and power, the perpetrator in order to demonstrate personal authority, showing their total control, so choose to use the "violence" this way to let the other party know. (Extended reading: an interview with the Modern Women's foundation: Gender violence is the product of discrimination and power intertwined )

In intimate relationships, the other half may use verbal humiliation, intimidation, excessive possessive, isolation and other forms of nonverbal contact to achieve the purpose of mental abuse. In the long run, the rioters become low in self-confidence, low self-esteem, frustration and frustration, over time, will begin to rely on this unequal relationship, gradually lose themselves, blaming themselves: "Maybe I really is the kind of person he/she said", "Yes, I really bad, just need to be corrected." 」

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It's not just the law that establishes the right intimacy.

For those who have been in this situation for a long time, they will be unaware and aware that they are being abused mentally. How do you get the mob to be aware of their situation and turn to help? Perhaps we can try to provide assistance from outside, and more positive support for the care of friends who are under the spirit of violence, instead of blaming, like, "You've done well, maybe you can think about contacting a violent unit, clarifying your situation, or talking to me, okay?" "Perhaps the friends around us could not contain the violence, but they were able to arouse the awareness of the mob for help by accompanying and mentioning them." (Recommended reading: after survival: Victims of sexual violence need more tenderness in the world )

But is there a possibility that this society will appeal to the perpetrator rather than to the mob? In response to violence, the society began to encourage victims to stand up and seek help from outside, often ignoring the idea that, if they wanted to reduce the incidence of intimate violence, it was the most fundamental way to set up the right concept of intimacy from education.

But the right intimacy, it is not perfect, but is equal, for example, because of the different ideas, habits and quarrel, quarrel is not bad, but the two must have the same right of speech.

I have always wondered if the whole community was committed to the practice of preventing violence, but was silent about love in schools that teach children ethics.

For love, for intimacy, school textbooks do not tell us how to tell the children of this generation, and the adults of the last generation, where each other should stand. Intimacy is the establishment of respect and equality, is the two people in the achievement of success, still standing in the position of reciprocity to embrace each other.

So, in addition to worrying about the speed with which the law can be amended to keep up with technology, we should also think about how to proceed from the most fundamental gender and emotional education to avoid the generation of perpetrators and victims.