By Deng Huiwen Physician analysis of "communication", "lovelorn", "marriage" three and related issues, when you fall into a similar situation, no longer feel overwhelmed.
In a relationship, a variety of problems are often encountered. Perhaps the two sides disagree, poor communication, may also face a breakup and lovelorn, or do not know whether to change the relationship between the two sides, the next phase of the relationship. Because it is a "problem", it can make people feel distressed, even sad. But the problem is not that it cannot be solved, and that when you have mastered a few small steps, it is no longer a hindrance to the relationship.
Today, Deng Huiwen to talk to you about the "communication", "lovelorn", "marriage", three in the relationship, often appear problems.
When you and the other half of the "communication" problem, is not more from the discussion of what to eat dinner, who today to wash clothes began, and then generated misunderstanding and quarrel, in addition to poor communication, but also attracted unnecessary discord. Or slow to go out of "lovelorn" pain, the mind is interwoven with his good and bad, forget to leave him. Still do not know should not enter into "marriage" with the partner, do not know after the marriage, the relationship between the two sides will have a change. It does not matter, through the Deng Huiwen emotional talk room, I believe that when you encounter these problems, can produce a different way to solve!
Relationship requires "forward communication"
Every time because who want to trash, washing dishes such trivial quarrel, make atmosphere smoke, really very unhappy, but clearly is he deliberately pretended to forget.
Q. How do you feel unhappy in a relationship?
A. Learn to communicate with yourself first to understand why you are not happy.
Communication small Skim step:
- Ask yourself: Are you unhappy, do you want something, and you don't get it?
- Translation communication: Say it in another way. For example: Think the other half is cold to me, can say "I want to be treated warmly".
- Concrete examples: Translating problems into concrete ways to communicate with your partner.
- Positive statement: First, do not directly point out unhappiness, but in a positive way to express. For example: Recently I can go to the movies with you, I will be very happy Oh!
NG approach: The root should be with the other side to explore the reasons for their unhappiness. (Extended reading:"Grapefruit sweet Soul Hand account" Li Yating and Cheng: We all have hurt, just love each other )
and "lovelorn" emotional tangled: Now the relationship, where the stuck
Lovelorn, forget his body temperature, his voice, his taste. Although he did something to me, I still miss him very much.
Q. What can you do if you have been unable to leave the emotion of "lovelorn"?
A. First ask yourself, now the relationship around, where exactly stuck.
You can do this:
- Ask yourself whether you are affected by past traumas or habits in your relationship.
- Don't always think, the other half is not doing some bad things, but think about why the other side with their own, will become worse. is not because of their lack of security, or no way to express their specific needs, and accurately understand each other's feelings.
If there are cracks, but can not properly handle, it is easy to produce "people in relationship, but the feeling of lovelorn." (Recommended reading: take a longer road of affection!) Learn to listen rather than do what you do
Escape from a lovelorn little skim step:
- Ask yourself: Look at your problems.
- Try to adjust: communicate with the other half and try to adjust.
- Conversion relationship: For the relationship effort, still not satisfied, consider the transformation relationship.
- Be honest: Be honest with yourself, whether you're in a marriage or a long-term relationship.
A person is also very OK, want not to get married again
You, who have a stable partner, may not be in a hurry to get married, but friends and relatives around you are always asking when to drink a wedding feast. It also allows you to start thinking about whether you should enter a marriage. But do you really want to get married?
Q. Should we get married?
A. No one can advise you to marry. Don't be so easy to believe anyone's opinion. "Marriage" This matter, please everyone 100% for their own responsibility. (Extended reading: written in Selina's divorce confession: Marriage and family, can there be new free imagination?) )
Pre-marriage thinking small skim step:
- If I don't marry him, what do I feel sorry for?
- Development relationship: The present relationship needs to develop more possibilities through the form of marriage.
- Self-Assessment: The reason you want to get married may reflect your concerns.
- Self-responsibility: A person is also very good, then to think, you should not marry people.