Intimate relationship exercises, when we are in a long distance love, do not love to let your life lockout, learn to enrich themselves, trust each other, to love at ease.
I teach you to take the first step: learn to believe. One day you will take the second step and find out what you believe in.
You're in a close relationship, you're hurting, you keep trying, you're in a bad place, but you are still here. You still believe in love first, and then step by step, you believe in the end is how love.
Talk about a long distance love, perhaps you will understand more, what is the meaning of love to you.
In the science and technology era, maintain long-distance relationship, no longer like the past difficulties, a Facetime, a few SMS, can temporarily soothe the yearning mood. But technology has always been unable to replace everything, the lack of regular physical contact, the separation between the two places of anxiety and suspicion, often let us forget the nature of love, focusing on the discerning partner.
Psychologist Andrea Bonior , who advises you at 10 points in the long-distance relationship, is also rethinking the importance of love and trust while maintaining intimacy.
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1. Communicate your schedule: Because of the precious, I would like to adjust the time for you
We all have different working conditions, staggered class schedules, different time zones and even different preferences. When couples try to plan a time of communication and sharing, the pace of life that is out of sync with each other may make us feel pressured.
Usually, when we agree to good one fixed time, it becomes a mode of inertia, and it turns out that this pattern may not be particularly effective. You have to think about when you're in the best shape. When can I have a more intimate conversation? Who can use their time more flexibly? When is the time when you are most eager to link with your partner and deliver intimacy? Who should initiate contact? Do you like to have a regular communication time, or do you want to adjust according to the situation of the day?
Thinking about these issues with your partner, and honestly expressing your thoughts and communicating with each other, is important to find a comfortable way for each other, whether it's a fixed time or a daily state adjustment!
2. Confirm the consensus: is the long-range state temporary or is it required to be sustained over time?
Studies show that when a partner is in a long-distance relationship, they have less stress and are more likely to be satisfied with the relationship if they can expect a long-distance state to be temporary and relieved. This is very intuitive, because the relationship is predictable, planned rather than seemingly hopeless waiting, the partner will be more active attention and common to overcome the difficulties of separation.
So in a long distance relationship, if one of the partners think that the long distance is only a temporary obstacle, the future will be due to each other's commitment and planning to end, the other thinks that the current long-distance status of the long-time to maintain, the two people's expectations of the future is different, there will inevitably be friction. (Recommended reading: How to maintain a long distance?) Eight talk about a long-distance relationship before you know it )
So, learn to identify your relationship with your partner, understand each other's ideas for distance, and have a common understanding of how to plan for each other's future.
3. Do not rely too much on technology: physical distance, cannot block two hearts close to
Many long-distance partners may be thankful for the convenience of technology-because they have the technology products of Facetime, Skype, SMS and so on, so that we can more easily maintain feelings with relatives, partners and friends.
However, in the establishment of intimacy, we can not rely too much on technology, timely let your partner can indirectly contact you, think of you, for the two people in different places, is very important link.
Leave a piece of clothing that retains your breath to your partner, or a symbol of your doll or object, which has a special meaning that allows you to have physical contact with your partner in life, an interesting postcard or an unexpected gift that will keep your partner in the distance, and feel the heart of each other still close.
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4. Focus on high-quality communication: If it's important, speak slowly to the important person.
Interestingly, studies have shown that long-distance partners have a higher level of communication satisfaction than couples in the same region. Because of the precious time they can talk to each other, they do not put their energies on meaningless daily complaints (like: Why don't you throw away the rubbish?) I want to have Mexican food tonight ... etc.). Long-distance lovers have a higher quality of conversation, they choose to share their important things with their partners in their daily life, and pay attention to the use of words.
Although long-distance partners are less likely to hug each other's intimacy anytime and anywhere, by phone and sharing, those important things we remember to talk slowly with important people.
5. Make the "boring" details a link: the details of your life, I don't want to miss
It is also important to share details of each other's life in a long-distance relationship. Don't think these "boring chores" contradict quality communication. Instead, share your life details with your partner in a timely manner to make him understand your life, feel your emotions, and share your happiness.
Imagine, if you don't know what the daily rhythm of your partner's life is, it's hard for you to understand each other during the conversation. Who does he chat with at lunchtime? What music did he listen to with his friends? How do they decorate the room? Who did he meet in his work to make him feel frustrated?
It is these details of life that have become a link between you and your partner, so that those who care for you will know more about your life, and you will be able to empathize with you in the process of listening to you. Even though you have a distance of thousands of kilometers, you can still be the companion of each other's daily life.
6. Don't over-plan your time: Leave a blank, feel each other's breath and body temperature
Another problem that long-distance couples may face is that when they finally meet each other, they want to occupy each other's time.
But this move could be a double-edged blade. Yes, you will be able to seize the time, but not likely to choose to forget to change the toilet paper roll this trivial to noisy, but reluctant to waste the idea of time, may also become a kind of pressure.
Many partners in long-distance relationships say they are under a lot of pressure to meet again after a long period of separation. They will look forward to seeing each other as a holiday, planning a trip together, but we must not forget that the intimacy is created by the small moments and unforgettable journeys. Do nothing with your partner on the couch, or eat an ordinary dinner and take a walk, these ordinary but warm moments, may make you closer to each other.
Remember, it's not a waste of time to stay white, but to let two people have a breather, stop to feel each other's breath and body temperature, build deeper links.
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7. Don't let your life stagnate: Enjoy life, for yourself
There is no doubt that a long distance relationship, in which there will be many sacrifices. But it is important not to let these sacrifices keep your life shut, or you will gradually experience resentment and regret over time.
In some cases, because of job assignments or career planning, we need to be separated from our partners, some people will avoid building their own circle of friends in the cities they are migrating to, and lazy to develop their own social networks, because they think they will leave in a certain period of time and it is not worthwhile to bet too much. And the fact is, whether you are in a long distance relationship, let life enrich is for yourself, don't let a close relationship hinder you to explore life, hinder you to dig new face of yourself. (Recommended reading:"single diary" long-distance lovers: to become a better person, still walk together )
Try to separate the time, do not isolate themselves, deeply to participate in the experience, let your days live up, not for who, for a better and more comfortable self.
8. Use positive thinking to define the situation-and believe it
It is important to look at each other's relationship in a positive and positive manner.
Although there are many uncertainties and difficulties in the long-distance relationship to overcome, actively to treat your situation, not too entangled in the shortcomings of the relationship, reminding yourself that the physical separation, perhaps to let each other more attentively to appreciate and understand each other, and uphold this belief, believe it.
Psychologists have mentioned that cognitive remodeling (note 1) helps to solve difficult living conditions because it helps bring hope and gives us a sense of control over life. This truth, in the long-distance relationship is no exception, try not to focus on each other can not live in the same place and feel unfortunate, the heart to feel how this challenge to help you grow together, how strong each other in the relationship.
9."Zhaqin" and "Care" difference: love a person, do not have to play detective game
The problem of long-distance relationship is not to know the actual daily life habit and state of the partner.
Have you ever felt anxious because you "can't see" each other? Have you ever suspected that your partner is absent-minded? Or are you willing to believe that the occasional absence of a partner can make your heart grow stronger?
You can stop to think, and acknowledge that long-distance relationships may conceal the fear of infidelity. But do not let it intensify towards suspicion or suspicion. If you want to contact each other, contact. If you miss your partner's voice, call him. Some doubts in the mind, then direct communication, but remember not to play detective games.
Your questions and doubts can make your partner feel stressed, and if you've chosen a long-distance relationship and can't know exactly what your partner's itinerary is, why not learn to relax? Learning to trust a partner is a good thing for each other.
10. Let yourself learn to trust and make yourself trustworthy
Finally, one of the most important factors in all intimacy relationships is trust.
Build trust and keep up with each other, this interaction is two-way, when you want to gain the trust of your partner, you also have to learn to maintain confidence in another partner.
In addition to cheating, there are many big and small acts can destroy each other's trust.
Do you often set your expectations on your partner? When you make a good call with your partner, can you fulfill the agreement? When there are some "more pressing" things in your partner's life, are you the one who is often put on hold? Will your partner be able to work together on a plan you've worked on? Or does he often postpone dating because the work is too busy? Does he remember things that are important to you and can make you feel listened to and understood? Will he be able to remember things that are important to you and give support and advice every time you talk?
Of course, all of the above questions apply to yourself and think about whether you are a trusted partner.
To maintain a long-distance relationship, teach us to read a person's emotions, and respond gently to your partner.
You found that the original love of a person, not to rely on, but to enjoy each other independent life, but common growth of the beautiful; you love a person, do not want to occupy, you worship each other, do not stop the other side chasing the hope, love a person, or can not help loneliness, but love is to make you strong backbone, the bottom of my heart will be able to go on celibacy for a long time.