Interview Yang, see her from a girl to become a wife, and then mother, talk about how to open up for their own girls, talk about admitting themselves, talking about the dark side of the relationship is very enjoyable.
"I sincerely wish everyone would like to stop the war with their own, reforming the soil of life, re-sowing, cultivation, in a limited time, unlimited to do every thing like, in the good and bad coexistence of the world, to become their own want to become beautiful." -Yang
Yang in the book , "Dear Girl, " preface wrote. She writes the female identity, the body and the choice, the writing style has the Yang type extravagant, reads has many delicate introspection, thanks and wishes. She wished everyone to open the soil, posture, the ground germination. Think carefully, in fact, Yang all the way, also in the Open road, first for themselves, after the girl, life has its own promised land.
Last interview ya Qing is three years ago, three years later, she saw her, a black dress into the park, and smiled that today son daughter temporarily bail mother, finally can beautiful out run itinerary. Three years, she married, born two baby, through the role of change, witness the difficult, the whole person's energy field is more calm.
I said your energy is very different, she said of course, to become a mother is a kind of expansion of their own-"Dear Girl" publishing process, she took her daughter while writing books, nursing, accompany play, change diapers, think fart how may out of the book, found the second son, pit scar scar, the last side of the final school draft, Both his son and his new book were born. "Having a child, knowing that you are omnipotent, is respectful to your body and yourself." "Her eyes sparkled.
We chatted from the writing intention. She said last year to understand, hope for women to open the way, the path, the road demons, she wants to go ahead, said don't be afraid. She felt it was a mission, a source of gratitude.
I want to be the open leader, your loveliness, you know.
"One time, I pushed the stroller, and my daughter was clamoring for something to eat in front of me. She did not see her mother sweating in the back, handing the food, but also to dodge obstacles on the road. She did not know that she could walk on the road because someone pushed her in the back, helped her out of the way, and hid that, when she realized it, and said thank you, she was out of the baby's identity. 」
"This matter to me very deep introspection is, many times we are like the small baby, tread many people's favor, can work, oneself but do not know." I do have a lot of thanks because I've been through a lot of honest observation and introspection and know many people have helped me. So I wrote this book and wanted to contribute. 」
She has a sincere voice, hope that experience to share, hope for a woman epoch-taking, from the heart is because of his grandmother. "Grandmother is very powerful, but often feel that they are inferior." Strange, son, our family are all women. 」
Grandmother's age, believe that women through the repression of their own, obedience to men, a variety of torture, can be replaced by happiness. Grandmother lifelong discipline themselves, and then copy the same discipline, hope to protect the next generation, that protection has self-derogatory and humble ingredients. Sunny and grandmother make temper, gas she does not respect herself, bad for herself, also gas she does not respect all women, the heart is actually more angry, do not know how to help grandma.
Interacting with her grandmother, she found that she did not have to persuade her to expand her with her own example. For example, before marriage, Grandma always love to read her, age to not marry, is not married to go out, check nuclear she behavior dress, Wenbu for her trouble. She unchanged, also do not sad sentiment, also do not ask grandmother to approve, self-made oneself live well, grandmother looked at her, heaven and man at war, do not understand this kind of happiness, but also feel her true happiness, she live out grandmother Lifetime dare not to face of that oneself. The grandmother also fights with oneself, also expands, this experience, has the love the idea and the circulation.
09 "Kiss Paris" So far, yang demolition of the delicate white lie, more and more clearly, I want to lead girls on a more broad road, accept who they are, to become their own want to become beautiful. This beautiful, must first be afraid to look for, not afraid to see.
"Your loveliness, you must know." 」
To accept oneself is to be clear in the heart of oneself
She has a vision of love and hope that everyone will accept themselves and become themselves and stop fighting with themselves. I say it's hard, and I don't know how to practice it. She thought about it, and said it was hard to accept yourself, to be aware of your own good or bad.
"Before accepting, it is very refreshing to see your own" good ", but it is painful to see your own" darkness ". But when we see ourselves in the dark side, not self-punishment, guilt, is to choose to escape, rarely choose to accept it. 」
She's a little psychic, and she's talking about a daily situation,
"An example, when we really want a thing, has been not to, the result came a person, the things I want to take away, this time the dark side will come out, inner small theater." We may deny escaping, blame ourselves for not trying hard, may deceive ourselves I do not really want, or we will be angry, the person is so cheap. We choose to attack ourselves, or attack each other, but in so many reactions, none of them is receptive. 」
"We did not accept our true desires, nor did we accept our incompetence. If you can choose, you can honestly tell yourself, well, things have been taken away, I have no way to get it. 」
"I see very clearly that I want, so I want to ascend." He took it, it was his, but I wanted to create mine, I had a commitment to myself, I had the ability to create my own, that's all. "I said, that's it?" She said, "In this way, the hand is longer than a period."
To really accept yourself, you must accept your own dark side. Do not want to face their own dark side, every day in the Battle of Heaven and Man, feel good bad, a bit of their own beating himself, every day to die several times. "If you stand with yourself, you will not whip yourself, you will not be self-blocking, and be prepared to go forward and create your own." Yang said, with some "good things can not only I know" of the inlet.
Accept yourself, also ghosts hit the wall when, "slowly to good." Sometimes I do not want to accept their own bad, sometimes pretending not to see, but I know that I am pretending, I do not deny. "Acknowledge the desire, acknowledge the inadequacy, and then promise yourself that I have the ability to create my own." Give yourself a little bit more, yes, you can.
If willing to accept oneself, will take root for oneself, have the power to face the criticism of others, also will be tolerant to others, inner peace. (same field as: happiness is growth!) Spiritual Tutor Raipexia: "You are willing to admit your shortcomings before you can find the Power")
Stop proving that you're great and deserve to be loved
The dark side of the topic more digging deeper, we talk about intimacy, the dark side will continue to enlarge, and constantly appear, simply crazy Demon. I ask in intimacy, what darkness do you see in yourself? Her confession was unbelievable.
"When it comes to passion, I have a lot to do for each other. But in marriage, when love, I see myself began to calculate, you do not pay me, I do not pay for you, I want to exchange, I see their meanness. 」
She also talked about her deep fear of incompetence, "I used to put myself in a good place and I wanted to be able to do it myself." But pregnant to the later stage, I even can not touch their feet, to my husband to help me off socks, a lot of things to rely on him. I have a deep sense of anxiety and insecurity. I was afraid that when I was not so good, no one wanted to love me. "Chubby round belly, she feared her incompetence," the more I waste, the more anxious, if I have no way to pay as before, you will love me? 」
I say we seem to be able to gain recognition by being "competent" to prove that we can be loved. But also have anxiety, will be nervous each other as long as "capable" of their own? Fear of not being loved, wounds and anxieties will gush out and engulf yourself. Intimacy is a mirror that can not be opened, according to you transparent inside and out, you may choose to accept, "I rely on you, I am still lovely." 」
Another situation is that if you always use your own "great", to exchange other people's love, but also to other people's "not good" especially impatient. "I also see their own bad, see others incompetent, feel very bored, later discovered, in fact, I was afraid of their incompetence." "If you don't accept your dark side, you can't love people like that." "The person you hate may honestly reflect the dark side of you."
So, stop proving yourself great, believe that you deserve to be loved, "otherwise every minute is so great, someone will love me, too tired." She shouted Bay stretched out. Did I ask my husband to have fear? She said there are many, but it is inconvenient to reveal that he also has his own subject to deal with, the husband and wife is such ah, not commitment to the bald, but a commitment to admit all of their own.
How do you get into the "admit yourself" state? "You have no way to prepare", she stared at me, "the incident came, to face, or else?" You have to experience it. "Yang put down a sentence." After the experience, you will. Don't think too much, do it right.