Interview Yang, the last article for themselves, to explore the dark, choose to accept; the next chapter on the role of mother, when the mother is a very worthwhile thing to Draco, mother and child relationship need not always start from guilt.
When mom is worth Draco: I'm hard, but I'm willing to
"I'm married without regrets, I have no regrets for having children, but the events are now, I feel very fuck, how can this!" "She has three exclamation points in her tone," she recalls, slowly seeing the sense of accomplishment and finding herself more and more powerful. 」
True love is karma, marriage is a cultivation field, Yang is resolute, marriage and co-opened the company no different. "When you're in love, you just have to take care of each other." After marriage, you have to deal with each other, but also to deal with the common vision of two people, every day is difficult ah. "She's not going to talk hard, there are real things in the hard times, there's power in the real thing."
She recalled the first meeting with the old Convention, husband opening remark said, "Ya sunny I want to get married, her heart is Wah." "I think God, how can you meet a man so eager to marry?" I did not particularly want to marry, but I am very submissive, he appeared in front of me, must have his meaning in. She had to go on a date, brace herself for marriage, bite the bullet and have a baby and find herself so willing.
If the comparison ranks, when the mother than when the wife hard, raise a child than pregnant tired. Pregnant eldest brother, she got up one night to pee 10 times, pregnant to the late, almost no sleep, she was cynical taboo vulgar to look at her husband sleep face, think of their weight straight up, turn over will be awakened by themselves. The child is born, from the body does not enter the body labor, "really is very hard right, but I am willing." As long as is willing to choose, are very love, do not feel pain. 」
The French pronunciation of my daughter, Mia, has a miraculous meaning. The birth of a good miracle, when the mother is a very worthwhile thing to Draco. "To be a mother is an expansion, and nothing can ever be more difficult for me." Now I am the family of talent, career talent, time management talent ... Have a sense of accomplishment. 」
Ask her to describe her mother's day, she said is chaos. There is no one thing in control, don't think you can control the child, you can't. "I used to like the column list, the schedule, in the right time to go to the place, let me feel at ease, think oneself good law." Now, the other day I want to go out, husband on the first floor, my son suddenly fried a big bag, I quickly grabbed him to wash his butt, change diapers, everything is ready, he again fried a bag of excrement. I put it down suddenly, it's OK to be late, not to go. 」
"The child is here to expand me, really, now I think the world is so wide." "She has a soft tone.
Dear God, please give me a happy production story
After the birth of children, good tolerance to the people, very respectful to themselves, especially admire female body ability.
The uterus is only the size of the fist, but can breed life, the vagina is so narrow, but can greet the baby born. Children grow up in the womb, after birth with milk water feeding, the mother's body can nourish a life, is really great, and only the girl's unique ability.
She said she made a pious vow before her production, "Dear God, give me an inspiring way of production." "If you can, one day when women talk about production, no longer only remember the pain, but feel relaxed, joy, blessing, that is how good." If she could, she wanted the world to remember such stories.
Promote the maternity ward, her second baby good heavy, fast four kilograms, Yang born batting an eye, estimate slipped a sound, she thought so heavy, still born so smooth, early know the last week do not have to avoid drinking Jane milk, worry about the children big only. MOM can actually not be afraid of.
There is really a happy production story, it is a gift to mother and child at the same time. The child does not necessarily have to pass through the mother's sacrifice and the pain to fall the world, the mother does not necessarily have to suffer the suffering the emotion production. The relationship between a child and his mother does not always begin with a debt and guilt.
"Our culture loves to blackmail with sacrifice, and everything begins with guilt, to have love, which is sick." 」
It is important for mom to think of herself, to be happy, to feel sacrificed, and not to give. Yang growing family environment, give her confidence, mother is a woman one identity, not all, "our family has four children, grandmother brought us to grow up, my mother gave birth to children, piano teacher's career has not stopped." See grandmother and mother this way of life, I have an impression, as long as the arrangement, have children, also can do their own things. My grandmother and my mother never told me what I sacrificed for you, never. 」
If a mother tells the child, because of you, I sacrifice what, the child will also feel, the original life to rely on squeeze mother's life reached, he also dare not happy. "It's important for mom to live well, not when you're chasing kids, you're going to live and let the kids follow." 」
That's a handsome remark.
Love your children and love them back.
When it comes to motherhood, another common voice: after having a baby, mom loses her freedom and loses her life. At first hearing for mother record straight, but also mother and sacrifice dedication to the inevitable equals, fall a single model. "I thought so, too, as if my life had been so great and I couldn't lose it," he said. The life after having a child is just a life of a child. The past life is not better, just not the same. 」
It's just not the same.
Before is oneself a person, now has a family, in order to raise the child, what must be able to give, can give and also willingly, discovers oneself formidable incredibly, "the child is a request ghost, in order to give him, you will go out, this is expands the opportunity." 」
Or a word, feel sacrificed, then do not give, happiness is more important, happiness is contribution. "You make a lot of contributions, but you're not happy and you're not contributing. The ideal state is to serve others before serving them. 」
How can you feel happy when you always feel sacrificed? Yang said confinement when, month sister-in-the-book cover asked her, this is you oh, why not like? She looked down at herself, yes, all day with a milking device, disgraced, not like a glossy cover. "But I did not feel disgraced very poor ah, my hard work is willing, very happy." 」
When a hard and self-pity mother, she also grows a respect for the body, all things through the body can be done. "Before looking at my body, 99% of the time, are looking good." After the birth of the child, know that the body for us to do a lot of things. Every step you take, you can do everything because your body, it is contributing to you, it is supporting you. 」
So, do not abandon their own body, and find a chance to repent with the body, "Dear body, I have long neglected you, I treat you badly, I want to make a good confession to you, you are very good." "By loving the child, she also loves to return to her own good."
I'm not the victim, I do it, the power is mine
After the production, to feed the mother milk, I frown said I heard very painful, she said yes, this is a mother very easy to take the experience of the victim situation.
When the milk is blocked, milking very painful, pain to want to scold dirty words, a day to get milk, to seize the time to squeeze, seize the time to feed, if you miss the feeding time, to replace the bottle, feeding milk to wash the bottle, bottle and milking bottles are steamed, disinfection process, may also raise milk, feel good victims, good bother, why do this thing, Mother irritable Marquee. (same field as: Is breastfeeding hard?) )
"But it will pass, you fuck finish, found that the suffering is only through, the end of things are not scary." "She was aware of herself in the victim experience and decided to reverse it," in order to feed the mother milk, I will know how to eat, how to sleep, rub some essential oil, I will know more about my body, more sensitive to my feelings. I'm going to make a lot of time, elastic adjustment. Without the hard work of feeding mother's milk, there is no such ability. "It sounds very contradictory, let us feel victimized, often also let us long strength, can be seen as exploitation, can also be seen as the ability to give, the focus is" I "how to think.
Yang's Enlightenment is, "this thing is done by me, the power is mine." 」
When people say it's good to be a woman, poor and miserable, our first instinct is to join in the heat, so it's more comfortable, but we can tell ourselves, no, I don't have to choose, I don't want to be self-pitying. We can ask, where is the hard work? Are you really pathetic?
Others say you are the victim, you can not believe that you can choose to find the opportunity, which is flipping. I ask, some of the situation is negative for women, it is true, Yang curious to ask, for example?
For example, as a female, often at various times receive oneself is a secondary hint, accept inferior treatment. From the birth of the identity card, the patriarchal family, ignoring the female voice of the workplace environment, to the gender stereotype of the role distribution. "Have you done this sort of thing for yourself, do you believe that you are secondary?" asked Jacob. If you don't believe us, we'll expand it. 」
Expand it, like the elegance of the expansion of grandma, like the kiss of Paris, the impact of society, there will always be new possibilities. And he said, they say, you can choose not to believe. The world is easy to operate, but it is beautiful to create a multi-template world.
Promise doesn't need to be given by others, you can give yourself
I said finally give a suggestion, to the dear girl.
She sincerely notional to badgered, "commitment does not need to be given by others, you can give yourself a promise." In any case, promise yourself to live your own good. It is your responsibility to find your own goodness. Practice to do this, or you will always be looking for someone else's affirmation, a lifetime will be a vampire oh. 」
I think it's a lovely responsibility to see how good you are and how cute you are.
From teenage girls to Mother Idol, ya clear walk ambiguous space, found layers of rules barriers to the gap, light through the place of freedom is incredible. "Dear Girl" is this dedicated to their own, but also dedicated to the guidance of girls, this guide is not the standard answer, but a long love accompany, has her own life course in it, from the self-consciously, after struggling to doubt the dark, dance over the mine area, is arriving bright future.
Thunder-roaring battlefield, she found peace with herself-my strength is mine, my promised land I go, I can.
And she stretched out her hand and asked, "Would you like to come together?"
After the interview we took a short film, prepared a blank question: The woman is ___, ___, ___, I like to be a woman, because _____. The concept of women open interpretation, she looked at the camera, eyes no doubt-women are full of creativity, women are powerful, women are lovely, I like to be a woman, because women can have babies.
I am very moved after the lens, you do not have to have children, you can have children, this is your strength. At that moment, I was convinced once again that we should be very proud of our life as a woman.