"Do you want to sign a consent book before you go to bed?" "What if the other person agrees now and then repents me?" "Do you have these anxieties when the right to sexual consent raises public misgivings about whether it will spoil the" sex "and" love "relationship?
Sweden committed sexual intercourse on July 1 last year (Affirmative consent), and in the future, in the event of sexual intercourse, if the consent of the other party is not obtained, the sexual act is not voluntary, that is, the so-called "only yes means yes does not consent, that is, sexual assault". Since the adoption of this legal system, many people have raised these questions about "positive consent":
"The implementation of sexual intercourse positive consent, is not to ask for pleasure in the future to sign a consent book?" 」
"What should I do if the other person agrees and then backs me up afterwards?" 」
At present, Taiwan is "Against will" to determine whether it constitutes sexual assault, that is to say, when the victim does refuse, resist, the perpetrator is forced to pay, even if sexual assault. And in the standard of determination against the will, silence, without a clear refusal, may not be able to constitute sexual assault.
However, if you use the right of positive consent, want to produce sexual behavior, you must obtain the other party's clear "consent", if the first consent, intimacy midway rejection, can not be counted as consent. As a result, people are beginning to have anxiety about positive consent.
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Agree today, don't agree tomorrow, will that be all right?
"Today he agrees, what should I do if I repent the next day?" "This is also the concern of many people about the right to positive consent, imagine if today you and your lover want to have sex, but in order to avoid future remorse and be accused of sexual assault, so take out a contract to each other's signature guarantee, or video license, after such repeated confirmation of sex, love is not spoiled?" Without trust, full of suspicion, how should partners get along?
This question, you can first return to the positive consent to promote the only yes means yes, in fact, the essence of this sentence is "respect", but also people get along with the fundamental, clearly understand the "consent of the other side, only count consent." The pattern of getting along between the two is not to speculate on the attitude of "I think this is good for you" and "I think you will like it", nor do you need to worry about hurting each other's emotions, and not to refuse to ask for joy. If two people need to be afraid to get along, they can not develop a healthy, happy relationship.
On the basis of mutual respect, the relationship between the two must make communication transparent, honest with each other, if the other side is asking for fun today, and you do not want to respond, you can directly express your feelings: "I am not in a very good mood today, we will come again next time?" 」
Or maybe you want to have a relationship with the other person, you can directly express their own ideas, although the initiative to express sexual will for many people is difficult to cross the threshold, but transparent communication is to promote the relationship between the two sides, reduce the conflict of practice. If the other person listens and agrees, that's fine; disagree, and the two sides can avoid conflicts arising from different perceptions. Like sometimes inviting each other to their own home, not a sex kick invitation, if the other person to sit in your home, does not mean that just want to sleep with you. In many cultures, inviting friends to sit at home is just part of the hospitality.
Take the initiative to express your thoughts and take the initiative to ask the other person's wishes
For women, open communication is still a difficult task, the public will always think that "Girls talk" is a very shameful, people think very debauchery behavior. First of all, we must change the concept, to recognize that everyone may have sexual needs, in the past we learned to put "sex" under the table to talk, to get on the table is easy to be labeled, but because only in the dark to talk about sex, it is easy to produce misunderstanding, cognitive equivalence, you want and I want something different? Unknown.
And the use of the right to positive consent, is to let the "sex" thing to get to the sun to talk about, the words open, misunderstanding can be reduced. Today lovers get along with the same atmosphere, want to sleep with each other, you can frankly ask each other: "OK?" "If he looks erratic, you can go a little further into his tangle:" Don't worry about refusing to hurt me, or you have other doubts that can be said directly, two people are put into the sex, is a good thing. " 」
There is no suspicion, only frank, the exercise of the right to positive consent will not let the relationship between the two sides deteriorate, nor let the atmosphere of love become feel, two people build consensus, you can have a healthier relationship Oh!
If you want to talk about the right to positive consent, welcome to the Women's fan room to share; If you still have a lot of anxiety about the right to positive consent, it is recommended that you read: