Talking about the customs of the Spring Festival, the view varies from person to place, women fans This invitation invited 9 readers, they have a mother, is the second year of marriage wife, is a daughter, but also son ..., together to talk about the "First day home" imagination, but also listen to nine kinds of Spring Festival New Year views.
The Spring Festival will come, for many people, it is a hard work for a year of reward, is to gather with the family, a good sit down to eat a meal of the moment. But the traditional customs of the Spring Festival, for some daughter-in-law, is also a heavy pressure.
First year, because the husband's family insisted that one person to reunite together, daughter-in-law must stay in the husband's house cooking vegetables, in addition, there are other Spring Festival taboo as before the family fortune, on behalf of the marriage is not happy, only need to go back to the family for help in the first Even when it came to second home, because "marrying a daughter is tantamount to throwing out the water", must be "outsider" identity back to the family, and can only stay until evening, must return to the in-laws, otherwise it will be detrimental to the family, these customs concepts, still exist today.
However, with the evolution of the times, people's gender awareness gradually rise, some families no longer believe that the beginning of the family fortune and other claims, also do not want to abide by such customs, but by the partners to coordinate where to eat the dinner, when to go back to the family, in-laws.
Talking about the customs of the Spring Festival, the view varies from person to place, women fans This invitation invited 9 readers, they have a mother, is the second year of marriage wife, is a daughter, but also son ..., together to talk about the "First day home" imagination, but also listen to nine kinds of Spring Festival New Year views. (Go to Youtube to watch)
lulu:"is not married to another home, but more family."
Lulu, married towards the second year.
For the marriage is not the original family New Year this thing, Lulu admitted once felt anxious, even some lost, but to the husband's day, because the husband's family will be their own daughter, so the wedding of the spring Festival become warmer. For when to go back to the family, she thought this is a thing to discuss, at that time, Mr. took the initiative to propose that the future can be changed to the New Year's family, second back to his in-laws, for the spring Festival to create a different time for reunion, and Mr. Suggestions, but also let Lulu feel very intimate
"Can communicate, can accept, the most important thing in the new Year is the heart of family reunion." "Getting married doesn't mean marrying to another home, but it's really more of a family feeling," "lulu said. 」
Qiao Qiao: After I got married, I still wanted to go home and be a daughter
Already have a two-year-old son of the coincidence, that many times the girls will worry about affecting their mother's family, so choose to stay in the husband's house on the New Year: "In fact, they have been married, or will miss home, will want to go back to be a daughter." She smiled: "After all, when you become a mother, you will miss the old in the mother's home can indulge in the waste." 」
Marriage is also a process of mutual understanding between the two sides, whether it is own family or other family members, are eager to be reunited in New Year, Qiao Qiao hope that while the Spring Festival comes, we can rethink, they think of what kind of year? Daughter-in-law is not? Understand and coordinate with each other so that everyone has the opportunity to be reunited with their families.
Thinking: It's important to reach a consensus with your elders first
Chat to the Spring Festival custom, the most impressive thinking is happened in the sister and brother-in-law, because the family in Penghu, the ticket is difficult to set, at that time sister and brother-in-law plan to buy a plane ticket back to the family, father-in-law protested, that New Year's Eve should not be in the family.
This matter makes the mind start to think, the traditional custom this thing needs to be improved through communication, "before making a decision, it is very important to reach a consensus with the elders." And these things can be slowly, slowly to adjust. "For example, tell your elders about their difficulties (tickets are difficult to book), so that the other person can understand."
Instead of punching the elders with the Scarecrow, it is better to understand each other's needs and difficulties, and sometimes the sticking point between the two sides is not as difficult to solve as it might be.
Grace: The usual relationship is that you don't have to break the relationship because of the dinner.
After 12 years of marriage, Grace's relationship with her husband's office is at its most comfortable stage. She said that when she first got married, she was worried about whether to help cook, clean, and try to fry a fish (finally failed), because she was afraid that she would not do these things, is not the eyes of others "good daughter-in-law."
These worries, over time, she found the answer: "Usually our concern is there, so it won't ruin the relationship because of this dinner." ' Maybe this is 12 years of marriage and she doesn't feel like going back to her family or in-laws is something to worry about. "My most anxious thing," she said with a smile, "is that I have to eat two dinners for dinner, two times, and I have to sympathize with my mother-in-law's hard work, so we have to eat the food well." 」
Renee: We don't want small families to live on their own. How about we spend together?
Renee, in a state of communication.
She and her boyfriend are single-parent families, the new year is a difficult problem for them, no matter who goes to the home, will let another lonely new year. She smiled: "I proposed the solution is, every year the new year to go abroad to play, are going to the restaurant to eat, do not in whose home!" 」
Instead of arguing about where the new year, worried about who is not happy, let all the people who love together for the new Year, have a lover's partner around, even in the distance, are New Year's Day, are also home.
Eunice: I will respect you, but I will also stand
Eunice, North bleaching worker. For her, the most important significance of the Spring Festival is family reunion, as a child's growing environment did not require their own observance of the holiday etiquette, so for the spring Festival did not feel too much pressure: "As a child there are very serious mother-problems, probably because my mother think this is not right, so to our generation, You'll feel like you don't want to live with your mother-in-law. It is good for everyone to get together and have fun, don't care about so many customs, there is communication, there is a happy life is good. 」
Many people think that the Spring Festival fear, Eunice but think, this is a rare moment of reunion, she smiled happily: "Finally can drift back to Kaohsiung to find my parents, I have said with parents, I go home to be a mother treasure, let them help me to mend a good ~"
Pinky: I have always had hidden worries in my heart. Can I go home in the future?
Pinky, office workers.
For Pinky, whether to go back to her family after marriage in the future is a big worry, she often heard friends next to the wedding talk about how tired the spring festival, need to be prepared to do how much housework, she said: "My mother often said, you want a horse will not marry, married as far as possible to the main in-laws." 」
The words of my mother and friends make her afraid of the situation after marriage: I miss home, but can I go home?
In the inner struggle, after self-adjustment, Pinky think, perhaps in the real marriage, they will become more mature, to face these anxieties: "I will feel that it is really not simple to be a daughter-in-law, but you will look forward to being a daughter-in-law of the first Spring Festival, in the end what it looks like." 」
What about you, do you have the same anxiety as Pinky at this time? Perhaps do not have to worry first, try to communicate with the other side, tell your difficulties and desire, two people together to build a prenuptial consensus!
Chi Yong: Why don't you reunite with me? I don't know until I think about transposition.
Now has a girlfriend's wisdom, once because of the new year to where to eat and dispute with his girlfriend, at first he thought "why not reunite with me?" This will make our relationship bad. 」
But then he tried to stand in the other side of the position that everyone is eager to share with their families, if only unilaterally think to their own home to eat dinner, will make the relationship better, but will have a counter-effect.
Intimacy, is based on transposition thinking, if you are also sorry that your partner can not be reunited with yourself, you might as well, like Chi Yong, try to stand in the other side of the position to think about it?
Jennifer: I miss my mom, why can't I go home?
"365 days a year, why don't you think your mother can't go back? Must be back one day or not? 」
When it comes to the Spring Festival etiquette, Jennifer has a vivid memory of what happened as a child, when her mother needs to send things to her foreign grandmother, but because grandma is more traditional people, adhere to the "freshman year not back to the family" etiquette, so the mother took things to alley, ask relatives to take things.
In the face of these etiquette, I thought Jennifer would show anger, but she said in a gentle tone: "Try not to step on their bottom line, their bomb point, we want to respect, in fact, like different foreign cultures, we can not identify, but we have to respect each other." 」
Jennifer tried to find a new balance between tradition and ideological conflict, and she thought that she could reunite with her family in different ways, even if she couldn't get home.
"It's like the video, and I'm ok!. "She laughs.
Spring Festival back to the family? What are the obligations of a daughter-in-law? Everyone has their own views, in any case, as long as in the relationship to find their own comfortable, happy position can be, after all, the significance of the Spring Festival, is not to be reunited with the loved one?
What do you think of the customs of the Spring Festival? What is the state of your family? Invite you to the women's fan room to share!