Lunar New Year, give you still grappling with how to answer the questions of friends and family: The social circle is not just in the workplace, but in anyone who has access to it in any life. Skip the surface greetings with your relatives and apply your usual workplace social skills at this time!
Hey, the Lunar New Year once a year is now, in addition to saying congratulations to you, but also to do a hard work with you. Perhaps you are still anxious about how to face the concern of friends and family, in the mother-in-laws and family, afraid to encounter a variety of social occasions, but in addition to embarrassment, rhetorical questions, escape, you have a better way to deal with. (Recommended reading: Don't bother to make new friends again? How to look at social anxiety after the age of 25 )
If you are feeling that as you get older, your social circle shrinks and your life is stable without special fun. Then "expanding the social circle" is a way to make a smooth life a little ripple. Of course, here refers to the expansion of social circle is not no purpose, catch people to chat indiscriminately, but in the Spring festival, around the friends are accompanied by their families, feel boring you in addition to chasing the drama slippery mobile phone, you can do an interesting action.
Japanese drama "The form of the family" stills
Expand your social circle and make boredom fun
Social psychologist Tanya Menon has mentioned three ways to expand the social circle in a TED talk, namely:
Using more imperfect social search engines (use a-more imperfect)
"Imperfect" social search engine refers to "jump off the lifestyle we are used to", if you often sleep during the spring Festival to wake up naturally, wake up and slide your phone to chase a play, stay up late to play table games. So the cycle down, you can be in the Spring festival during the closest ethnic group is similar to their own cousins, neighbors and friends and so on.
But if deliberately let oneself jump off habit, deliberately get up early to eat breakfast, and parents buy annual goods together, participate in family gatherings no longer silent, take the initiative to talk, contact with a long time did not contact friends and relatives, not only to have more knowledge of them, but also to let them know you better, then reached the first step to expand the social circle-to
Brave enough to devote himself to the social process (is courageous in traveling your
When we break through the first step, appear in the usual rarely attended gatherings of friends and relatives, inevitably feel a little uncomfortable, we may subconsciously think that friends and family can not chat with themselves or think friends and relatives than their own ability to talk, such an expected psychology also hindered our desire to expand the social circle of the goal.
The reason for discomfort and fear can be attributed to the lingering sense of security and competitive psychology in our hearts. If in the past did not take the initiative to open the topic, suddenly passive for the initiative, we are of course afraid that the other side is not used to. On the other hand, if the other person is capable, personality is much stronger than their own people, we do not want to be seen as weak.
The more scared and shy the moment, the more positive it is to greet, or even initiate, the topic. Let the other side have an opportunity to know more about themselves, after all, "initiative" is the most easy to release the act of goodwill, but also to allow the other side to naturally understand their own mind.
Consider the other party as a partner rather than a interpersonal resource (Reach to person as partners rather over resources)
Although it is holding the "hope to expand the social circle" of the heartwarming thought, we began to have a multi-interaction with friends and relatives, but still remember that social relations are not trading behavior, can not be used "will have harvest" mentality to face.
It is possible to gradually expand and go further and further by regard to each other as a social model with more intimate friends and relatives and friends of life, so that there is no special purpose. Think back to those you are already very good friends, is not no idea of the encounter, know each other, in order to go to the present?
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Social circle, is a conduit that conveys one's faith.
People who want to expand their social circle simply want to be able to understand society and the world through the eyes of others, the corners they can't touch, and the life they haven't experienced yet. Therefore, it should not be possible to expand the scope of social circle norms in the workplace, anyone who can reach in life is a link in the social circle. Of course, friends and family are also a medium where you can develop your social and eye-opener.
By socializing, we can pass on our beliefs to others, and while understanding others, we also give others the opportunity to understand themselves. Although no one can fully understand another person, it is not a good thing to be able to meet a bosom with similar values. (Recommended reading: don't easily cross the comfort circle!) Dedicated "Competency Circle" to make you live more like yourself )
Again, I vaguely remember that before the referendum last year, I rarely talked to my relatives about my views on marriage equality, but through the community media, they knew that I believed in gender parity and supported marriage and affirmative action, about.
On the eve of the vote, I returned to my hometown in the south and sat in the living room with other relatives who were also returning to the polls, suddenly talking about what I thought of the referendum. I try not to be excited, no more smooth to expound their firm position, although do not know the thoughts of relatives in the heart, but now also feel that in any case I am worthy of their own, but also for their own and loved people have fought hard.
The next day, in the queuing line under the sun, a relative turned around and asked me, "What size are you going to cast? I want to be like you. 」
This spring festival, try to expand the social scope, well with friends and relatives to talk about it, perhaps that you think there is no common topic of friends and relatives, will become a forgetfulness (laughs)