With regard to cohabitation, I had imagined that, in the morning of Saturday, he would pick me up from his bed, and we would freshen up together, and then hand in hand to alley for breakfast. Even, I am ready to accept the truest of him, such as the corners of the eye to wipe unclean eyes, sleep can't help snoring.
But back to real life, about money, I dare not have too much imagination, or even dare to talk. Always feel that once we talk about it, the feelings will start to break up ...
If you love a person, never live with him or get married. Maintain a vast distance, encounter, can love the eyes of homage, light and gentle, indiscriminately asked: "OK?" "--Also Shu
Often listen to others say, cohabitation is a necessary trial before entering marriage, in the cohabitation stage, you will get along with a person, this time in the past simple communication can hide the habits of life, there will be no hiding. Some people will decide not to get married because they live together, and of course, others spend their lives together.
Couples occasionally come out after a period of dating "maybe try to live together?" "The idea, you will start to imagine such a romantic and beautiful picture, such as you decided in Saturday morning small bed, he will pick you up from the bed, you wash together, and then hand in hand to alley to eat breakfast."
Regardless of the romantic plot, you are even ready to see the real him, but also let him see no hidden self, such as his eyes wipe the unclean eye scale, he can not help snoring when he sleeps.
Picture | Source
All of the above makes you look forward to living together, but back to real life, you may also start to think, how to deal with the problem of money? How to split the bill from the big direction, how to pay the rent, to the details of how to buy food money, bathing milk who should buy, may be the problem of detonating the cohabitation fuse.
Some partners will choose to deal with all the money in the most direct and fair way: AA system. But honey, we want to tell you that the AA system may be a way, but not the only one.
Other imagination beyond the AA system: Honey, let's talk about money in democracy.
In this article, The BBC notes that many cohabiting partners choose to share all finances equally, but this can cause problems, such as less money being made by one party, and the possibility THAT the AA system could create a burden on him, and that discontent may arise. It is also a good way to distinguish by personal means, and the article quotes a couple by making a common financial form that tracks more than $100 trillion in spending, and if it exceeds that amount, it will be apportioned at 64 percentage point.
Perhaps instead of deciding how to split the accounts right away, invite your partner to sit down and spend an afternoon with a good time talking about your ideal cohabiting life.
Ideal life can be a lot to talk about, for example, hope that no matter how busy, you have to eat dinner/breakfast together, hope that the weekend can go out for a walk, in the alley wobble can also, hope Saturday night can nest together on the sofa to see Netflix, you can also talk about a few things to sleep, bathroom slippers and indoor drag must be separated , And the rubbish falls at least three times a week ...
Next can you compare your status at the moment, working hours, mental strength to achieve the ideal cohabitation life? What can life habits change for each other and what can't? If there is no way, how to compromise?
The gap between ideal and reality is precisely the problem to be dealt with between partners, but also the beginning of consensus-building. At this point, you can open up about money, Dr. Leon F Seltzer , who believes that when talking about money with a partner, it is important to maintain an open, same-minded, sincere attitude, because this conversation is not about competing for the right view of money, but about understanding each other's imagination of money.
The editor asked three girls who are currently living with their partner A, Girl L and Girl M., who have also had these life trivia troubles with their partner to see what they have done to find the most comfortable relationship with their partner and money, and how they would suggest that you consider going into a cohabiting relationship.
Divide each other's responsible areas
From personal life to the lives of two people is really not easy, it may be imagined that two people will build a new life together, then from the color of furniture to the brand of bath milk may need to adapt, coordination and discussion.
Girl M & amp; A suggests that you can divide your area of responsibility first, assuming that you are a person who cares, has a fixed use of the grooming brand (or can not accept a can of the shampoo bathing person), it is possible to communicate with each other, in the future by their own responsibility for the purchase of Bath milk, shampoo, and partners can also find their own
Communicate with each other the details of the life you care about, divide the areas of life that are responsible for each other, in order to make all your actions more willing. A lot of times we fall into "why doesn't he go and fix the broken lights?" "Why buy this brand of facial cleanser?" "Why doesn't he want to pay to decorate his home?" "In the complaint. By planning each other's areas of responsibility, you will know what the other person cares about, and the other person will know that you don't care. Before money, it's important to know exactly what you're going to get when you give it to each other.
Make the best use of technology to sustain your relationship
After building consensus, the real problem of money can be solved by using science and technology. Girl L shared her favorite penny app--splitwise, like rent, electricity bill to share, or the partner to borrow money between the problem, she can use this app to remember clearly.
For example, if you pay the rent first today, you can write this account to the Splitwise, mark it for your own money, Splitwise will help you calculate the cost of the outbound needs. If it is not an average allocation, it can also be prorated to calculate how much each person needs to pay.
If you can get the machine to deal with it, don't use the brain to remember it (not to mention that brain memory occasionally goes wrong). Making good use of technology can also reduce the chance of quarrelling between partners.
Cohabitation, is to learn to accommodate each other's subject, but also practice for their own pay to feel happy, satisfied with the process, because the heart has yearning, you are in their respective corners, build, build each other's imagination of home, a piece of the fight together.
In cohabitation, the fair sharing of money is not the only solution to the harmonious relationship. It's behind money, how you look at each other's giving, and whether you have a consensus on what you expect from each other, and that's all that matters.