Interview with He Shihi: #MeToo No matter how long the incident occurred, the victim was entitled to say the pain

In the Office of the Department of Sociology at the University of Hong Kong, I met for the first time with a formal interview with the condensation. She had a gray yarn skirts, a unique cut, "I love asymmetric tailoring," and her angular style of doing things works abnormally well.

Before that, in the second year of college, the condensation had already been to my school-a visiting professor at Lingnan University in a cultural research class, as well as a counter-attack on the issue of the extension of the HKU, criticism of the anorexic writer Taojie, and a sexual harassment incident at the breakthrough agency, which she had set up with the victim Dawn and others. " Sex Guild " online radio station.

This time, women are inviting to visit the #MeToo in Hong Kong with a view to dismantling the challenges faced by the victims and how the widespread anorexia complex in the community has allowed #MeToo to flourish in Hong Kong.

When the victims were condemned, "after the hindsight."

I have thought about tattoos on my hands and writing a "fuck you" so that I can express my position to those men all the times.

In March 2019, the results of a study by storm Lan mentioned that victims under the age of 16 were delayed by an average of 13.2 years, while victims over the age of 16 were delayed by an average of 1.2 years. The study brought out is precisely the so-called post-awareness phenomenon, but after the hindsight, is not the victim's fault, the wind and rain orchid reported that the delay in asking for help is serious, I believe that with the victim to the people around him to reveal the incident, the lack of trust and support is related.

In the December 2017, because hurdler Lu Liyao publicly himself was sexually assaulted by a coach on Facebook posts, Hong Kong writer Taojie made an extremely horrific response by joking, on Facebook with the title "Brother and sister come forward", which refers to himself. " As a child by the kindergarten teacher touched the face ", sarcasm Lu Liyao fuss, and after the awareness, questioned why she did not call the police, real-time report, more ironic she may have misunderstood the coach's original intention, and even wronged the good people. (Extended reading:"Coach on the pretext of massage touch my private place" after the Hong Kong column Lu Liyao #METOO open to Sexual assault experience )

Perhaps some people find Taojie humorous and acrimonious, but for me who has had the same experience or as a woman, Taojie's move further validates the general aversion of society to women and the questioning of victims, and the rudeness and arrogance of his attitude makes me very angry.

I do not know Taojie is represented by most or a few, but in this regard, the condensation in the Hong Kong media visit response: "#MeToo is to face the past, and in the face of the past has been a sign of courage." "The key to the #MeToo is not whether the victim has reported it in time, has not been pursued by law, but how the victim has been able to speak of the courage that has been violated, and we do not need to call the police, to the House to qualify as a part of the #MeToo, the victim, #MeToo the victim." Qualifications "and does not require any permission or qualification. (Extended reading: an exclusive interview with Itochu Weaving: people should not have only one understanding of sexual assault )

By being aware of the nature of events, to being able to link experience to the experiences of other women, to being able to speak and share, to struggle, is a long learning process.

"When we meet a sexual aggressor, we may feel uncomfortable, but we need the situation to interpret (interpret), and then we will judge (judgement) to determine whether the other person is invading themselves." 」

This process, judged by interpretation, takes time and can also constitute a delay (delay). However, this delay often occurs "because not every Hong Kong girl has such training (for example, sex/gender education, knowledge of sexual assault, awareness of power relations) and experience, to master a method of judgment, to master that kind of courage to counter the language." In particular, even after I have read books for many years, I have only recently begun to react to injustice. Mo says some women who don't get support and don't have the corresponding language. 」

What is communicative etiquette, what is sexual assault, indecent assault and sexual harassment? How can we judge the uncomfortable treatment that is being encountered at the moment? Perhaps, if we are aware of the events of the time, it does make us feel uncomfortable, no matter how long the matter, that feeling and emotion, is firm and true, our victim qualifications, do not need to be measured by other people's standards, but to listen to their own hearts. We need to know that there are delay that are very fine.

#MeToo the point is the feeling that women are neglected.

#MeToo to bring up women who have been sexually harassed, indecent and sexually assaulted, and to make women feel and unite without them, and when we see more news in the News day after day-the nuns in the Holy See, the female staff in the institutions, the female teachers in the school, And the follow-up treatment they encountered after they stood up-was extinguished, scolded, and we all felt angry, sad and tearful. #MeToo is not just about "sex," #MeToo about the feelings that women have been neglected for years, "and when I participate in social action related to #MeToo, I use my past humiliation in the power structure as motivation and reference." When I try to say feelings and then encounter backlash or oppression, that kind of damage is lasting. 」

Women are obsessed with asking the question: "What do you think is the reason why the #MeToo in Hong Kong society has not picked up?" 」

"A woman's feelings are always seen as too emotional and fuss in the eyes of outsiders." Women are thought to like hyperbole, like to lie, like to get attention, these are the perception of society to women. Whether in indecent assault, verbal sexual harassment or daily debasement and ridicule, women are considered to be shouldn't and have too thin a face if they express a hint of harm. This is how society treats women and women in their feelings. "Moreover, this view is internalized in women, and even women deny their feelings and feel humble," said the minister, who held himself uncomfortable, the head of the leader was wrong, the boss looked at his body so unhappy, and then went to complain, People feel that women not only take it too seriously, but also to follow up on this, the workload has greatly increased, after the criticism of course is women, because they find her troublesome. 」

She mentioned a film, "The game that can't be said," about a girl who was sexually assaulted by her father's friends since she was a kid, and was told and thought it was a game until she grew up realising that it wasn't a game, "We've been dismissed and trivialized since we were a kid." "Like a very powerful scene in the movie, after the victim sued the sex offender, her mother said," How long are you going to bother me about this? It's just a few fingers coming into your vagina. What's the big deal? You make your father feel guilty, the other side is in prison, the family has no day ⋯⋯"condensation summary, which is almost the epitome of society's view of #MeToo victims. (Extended reading: The #metoo Story of Hong Kong: Guest furry, but the boss accuses me of indiscretion )

The condensation points out that "sexual harassment and the so-called original meaning (intention) are irrelevant, but many people use it to justify sexual harassment, saying that they do not want to touch each other, their own behavior is not sexual meaning, but whether sexual harassment is established or not, lies in the feelings of the harassed party, Rather than what the original intention of the torturers was. 」

Woman, don't deny pain.

The violence and injury encountered in the system is very big for the condensation, "the average person feels that these things are no big deal, think I have gone to this position, why not let go?" "We have a lot of discouraged" troublemakers "in our colloquial expressions, such as" more things than less "," Home and MasterCard "," No outsider ". When the university contract period failed to extend the application to five years, and without reasonable explanation, some people called condensation "more than one thing less". When the protagonist of "the said game" confrontational invasion of his father friend, the mother called her "Home and MasterCard." When sexual assault and harassment took place in historic institutions, such as the Holy See and Church organizations, the upper echelons told the victims that they were "not ugly".

Every day, we meet people who want to swallowing and endure themselves in the workplace, at school, in the family or in the church. Even if nothing happens, our thoughts are always pointed out, and our sanity is always questioned, because we are a woman with no financial means, no good title, or no so-called charm, or no education.

If the nature of women is really the same as gender two yuan insist, more emotional, more delicate and sensitive, then we might as well first feel "de-stigmatizing", so that feelings (especially bad feelings) are trusted, rather than their own denial. Believe in your feelings, pain and wounds, and use this as a basis and motivation to fight for rights, so that the world can also know that women's pain is worthy of respect.