She started masturbating from country one, but no girl around her would talk about it, and she wouldn't dare say it. It was not until a high school classmate that she learned that it turned out that other girls would masturbate, too. When masturbation is still a young girl can not tell the secret, we will find that the original, slut humiliation and male earning female compensation of the sexual logic, in fact, never disappeared.
More than 10 years ago, a nursing teacher in North a woman asked students to draw their own genitals, causing controversy. At that time, the EOC said that perhaps there was room for discussion in its teaching methods, but it was worth acknowledging the courage to try different sex education teaching, but there was also a lot of opposition that the move had violated students ' privacy. What do you think of this matter more than 10 years from today?
In the country, the film "Those years, we chase the Girl" hot, in the play, a male student in class to play pistol drama, attracted a burst of laughter from the audience. In high school, because of participating in the community, and the Alumni society more contact, but also found that they often open and "sex" related jokes. At that time I or other girls, do not think it is a big deal, will even laugh a few times.
When adolescent boys talk about "sex" for granted, for adolescent girls, "masturbation" or "sexual fantasies" are hidden in the shadows. Judging from the film and television works, the boy's pistol is often interesting and natural to present. But looking back on the past viewing experience, I can hardly think of any film, like a teenager, filmed how young girls "explore themselves." (Looking back: teenage masturbation, why can't you tell the secret? )
Between teenage girls, the topic of "masturbation" is not much discussed. But after taking off his uniform, going to college, and reaching adulthood, from "Girl" to "woman", we finally looked back and told ourselves that it was natural to discuss "sex" and that "sex" was part of our body.
The other girls don't say it, and I dare not say it.
When boys are able to talk loudly about "sex," or tease each other; girls face the topic of DIY as if it were taboo-is there less girl to masturbate, or less girl who dares to say it?
J masturbated from the beginning of the country, but no girl around him would talk about it, and she wouldn't dare say it. After going to high school and having a boyfriend, she and her friends began to discuss the progress of her and her boyfriend, but never made a word about "come on your own."
At the time, J felt that maybe he was a girl with a particularly high desire, right? Or do not tell others, anyway, there is no good discussion, after all, those girls and friends, do not seem to masturbate.
After rising to college, a high school classmate dinner chat, the girls inadvertently chatted to A piece of the topic. "So you've all seen film A? "China began to look at the ⋯⋯""is relatively small when it is to look at adult literature, at first feel that the text has been very glamorous, and then a little not exciting, began to look for A piece to see." "These discussions made J quite surprised that it turned out that he was not a girl with particularly large or strange desires, purely because everyone had been afraid to say it before," he said. (Scene in the same field: let the Lust lead the Guide!) My girlfriend loves to watch A piece )
"Gender roles" provide a gender framework in which individuals place themselves through the gender dichotomy. When a person grows up, he is easily encouraged and praised if he makes an act that meets the expectations of a "gender role", and vice versa. -"A world view of gender", Raewyn Connell
Puberty, especially vulnerable to peer influence. When the girls around them do not talk about "masturbation", J is afraid that they will appear strange, so also dare not speak. One of the reasons why people don't say it may come from the fact that they have been taught from an early age that "sex" is unclean and extremely private. When the elders to "grow up will understand" a sentence, to put off all things related to sex, even if still confused or have the desire to explore, there is nowhere to be.
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Slut Humiliation: Female lust forced to disappear
Extend the discussion to all women. Under the patriarchal system, women are expected to be pure and graceful.
If she tends to be open to sexual attitudes, she is vulnerable to slut humiliation (slut shaming)-if women go against chastity expectations, such as talking about "sex" or "body"; wearing is not in line with popular expectations; and having sex according to one's own will is prone to verbal intimidation or physical assault. (Extended reading:Bump men to help make videos of evil cannon girls? Not allowed to challenge male dignity, let society flood outdated slut humiliation )
Many young girls in the growth process, may have been the elder exhortation: skirt do not wear too short, neckline do not wear too low ... such as norms and teaching. We cannot directly deny the "good intentions" of our elders, but this statement, in an invisible way, inculcates in the "Review of the victims" of the rape myths into the young girls.
"Everyone said that as long as you dress decently and appropriately, do not casually laugh with men, do not pose a frivolous image, go out to pay attention to the appropriate safe time and place, you can avoid harassment." In other words, if someone harasses you, you must have created an opportunity for the flow of lust, or your own lust must have flowed first, anyway, it must have been your own fault. "--" The haughty woman, "he Chunrui
The sexual logic of male earning female compensation never disappears. Meaning, male love, in any case, the boy is to earn, the girl is to lose. To give a simple example: I have been warned not to have sex with my boyfriend too soon to avoid "cheap."
In the growth of young people, we do not encourage young girls to enjoy and face up to their own lust. We don't have a chance for them to tell themselves: sex is not dirty, lust is not filthy, masturbation is no big deal.
As a maiden, I masturbate, and I'm not ashamed.
Women, who are expected to be dignified, gentle and conservative; teenagers, are taught not to talk about or touch "sex"; thus, young girls with both "female" and "juvenile" identities are almost like being placed in a double confinement cage.
However, "sex" never really disappeared. Both women in adulthood and adolescent girls may have a variety of ideas or desire to explore "sex." Exploring self-lust is also a process of shaping self-cognition. However, when teenage lust is forced to be invisible, how do they explore and shape it?
After rising to college, he absorbed a lot of knowledge and was exposed to feminism for the first time. After taking off the student's uniform, "sex" can actually be one of the topics of chatting with my girls and friends, no longer awkward.
Now I, want to fly back to the teenage period, told the then 13-year-old self: "You masturbate, there is nothing to be ashamed of Oh!" 」