Taiwan's #MeToo Dilemma|Liang Xinyi: "When I tell the victim experience, everyone just wants to ask about the horror details"

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On April 10, at the press conference of the Modern Women's Foundation, we learned this chilling survey data: until 2018, 61% of the public still believed that victims of sexual assault were responsible (Extended reading: Direct Hit|Taiwan #MeToo Truth: 61% of the people still believe that victims of sexual assault are responsible).

Behind the cold data, there is a real story. At the press conference, artists Lara Liang Xinyi, Esther Liang Yanxi, and Huang Yuan all shared their stories with their friends and their reactions. It also lets us know that in fact, everyone in the world may not be able to become a "perfect victim".

In fact, none of us needs to be a perfect victim to be qualified to tell our own story. (Additional screening: Interview with He Shining: #MeToo No matter how long the incident has occurred, the victim is qualified to speak out of pain)

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The Female Experience: We Can All Be "Atypical Victims"

At the press conference, participating artists also included Esther Leung Yanxi, Lara Liang Xinyi, and Huang Yuan, each sharing their own stories. Liang Yanxi said:

When I was sixteen or seventeen years old, I went to osteopathy. The master said, your chest should also be straight. It was a formal medical occasion, and my mother was there. I was a little embarrassed at the time, but I thought it was osteopathy, so I said okay. My mother didn't refuse, she just wondered, how could osteopathy touch her breasts? After returning home, my mother was very angry, she said, this should be a man taking advantage of the little girl, right? Because according to my condition, he had no reason to touch his breasts at all. I also kept reflecting afterwards, why didn't I refuse? Why don't you even ask?" Maybe now I'm in my thirties, of course I dare to ask. But I was only fifteen years old at the time, and I didn't dare to question it at all.

She said, "And until now, I have never met a second osteopath who told me to touch my breasts."

"When you are in some formal places, such as campuses and hospitals, they often give us the illusion that they are safe and that they will protect you, but it is also possible that they don't think so."

Lara Leung also shared her story for the first time. It is also a harassment dilemma that is difficult to respond to.

"I thought about not saying it until last night before going to bed. During the summer vacation of high school, I went to a friend's house for the night, and in the middle of the night I found that a male classmate was touching my body. At the moment, I don't know how to express my refusal, I just want this to stop. So, I removed his hand, but without speaking, continued to pretend to be asleep. The next day, everyone still pretended to be okay and interacted as usual."

She said: "When I got home, I realized that I was actually very uncomfortable."

"Shamefully, I still desperately recalled what I did wrong to make him think I was interested in him? Girls and boys, in their teenage years, do not know what sexual SOPs are. I am not talking about this to find out who he is or to describe more details. But know that if everyone had more physical and emotional education, it probably wouldn't have happened."

No one should blame Lara for why she "didn't say no" at the age of sixteen or "why it took so long to say". Sometimes the person concerned cannot react and refuse immediately, which does not mean that she agrees, because she is still digesting the situation, and she should not be blamed for "no refusal at the moment" afterwards. (Extended reading: Courage is not not to be afraid, but to move forward in fear!) Interview with Lara & Esther)

Male experience: Regardless of the victim or the position of the victim, it has never been taken seriously

Huang Yuan, the best actor at the Golden Bell Awards, once participated in the movie Chilling Effect and played the role of a friend of a sexual assault victim. He mentioned that as a man, "I also have female friends around me who have shared details and moods with me, but at that time I felt that the personality of many people would make them afraid to say it, and it might be good if they said it, but if they didn't say it, these experiences would plant seeds."

When asked about the experience of male victimization, Huang Yuan said: "In the past, there were demonstration movements in elementary and junior high school physical education classes, and there were also male teachers who would make lewd actions against male students.

At this stage, the number of perpetrators is still mostly men, and Huang Yuan was also asked at the scene, as a man, what do you think? He thought for a while: "In fact, as a boy, many people actually know silently in their hearts how to cross the line." But many times, perhaps due to the social atmosphere, whether it is sex or relationships, we acquiesce to men that they can "try it".

Let go of the myth of "perfect sexual assault"

In the post-conference conversation, Lara mentioned Taiwan's #Metoo dilemma.

She believes that the #MeToo movement in Taiwan is not yet taking shape. "You see, just searching for #MeToo tags on social networking sites, there are tens of thousands of results abroad, sharing their experiences, but how many Chinese have? There may be only a few dozen." She said that many times, as long as she talks about her experience of harassment, many people just want to ask for more details and gossip and spectacle these incidents. "But what we need is not the details, but the fact that such an experience is told is already very important."

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Many people think that there is only one form of gender violence: heterosexual men press heterosexual women, women cry and say no, and men continue. And the curious sex details and crazy and desperate resistance become the protagonists of the story. It seems to be watching the pain of others, as if it has become an entertainment stimulus for the audience. The more exciting and absurd the plot, the more we think that gender-based violence is far away from us. But from the Ito Shiori case and the Fang Siqi incident, we have increasingly discovered that these things are actually very close to us.

The so-called perfect sexual assault case and perfect victim do not actually exist. Only by letting go of the myth of "perfect sexual assault" can we open up and let more people be willing to speak out. To be honest, the sheer number of gender-based violence can be almost morbid. According to statistics from Taiwan's health and welfare department, on average, one in two people has experienced sexual harassment or gender-based violence. (Extended reading: Sexual assault black box|If you are not innocent and not sharp, you are not worthy of being a "perfect victim")

Taiwan is not without #MeToo, and some people have tried to speak out. It's just that we still care too little and blame too much. We only care about the details, not their mood.

These hidden wounds never mean that they are not painful or unimportant. They have been hidden for a long time, and we need to roll up our sleeves so that they can be seen and healed.