Sex Newsletter: 10-year-old mom burns my breasts: "Otherwise men will want to have sex with you"

Perhaps you've heard of the "circumcision" that is prevalent in traditional African tribes - the removal of a girl's clitoris, or even the size of a labia. So, have you ever heard of "hot milk"?

Breast Ironing , a hot device that burns a girl's breasts to delay breast development and reduce sexual attraction. Usually, it is up to the mother to operate the "burning" process for her daughter: heat the appliance on a fire, and then use these high-temperature appliances to squeeze and iron the breasts directly. Only once, it may not be effective, so it often takes several months.

As many as 3.8 million girls worldwide are affected, according to the United Nations. According to the Women and Girls Development Organization ( CAWOGIDO ) , about 1000 women in the UK are currently forced to "burn" , causing physical harm and psychological shadow . The BBC reported on the experience of some girls being "burned".

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Kinaya (pseudonym) lives in the UK and has a native family from West Africa. When she was 10 years old, she also experienced "hot milk". At the time, Kinaya's mother said to her, "If I don't burn your breasts, there will be men coming to you to have sex." Kinaya says she can't even cry: "The pain doesn't ease over time." 」

"You're not even allowed to cry out. If you do, you sare said to have brought shame to your family, you are not a 'strong girl'."
"They won't let you cry. If you cry, you bring family shame, because you are not a "strong girl". 」

Today, Kinaya is an adult and has a daughter of her own. When her daughter was about 10 years old, Kinaya's mother suggested that she be "burned."

"I said, 'No, no, no, none of my children have go go what i went, as I still live with the trauma."
"I said, "No, no, no, my children shouldn't go through what I've been through. Until now, I've had shadows. 』」

Kinaya worries that even though she is strongly opposed, her family is so stubborn that she no longer lives with her family.

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Another woman, Simone (pseudonym), also shared to the Victoria Derbyshire show that when she was 13, her mother learned she was gay, but she escaped being "hot."

"A to her, I was lym because of my car, so if she can iron them and i'm flat, then may i'll be ugly and no-one will admire me."
"According to her, someone else may have been attracted to my chest. If I burn my breasts flat, I'll be ugly, and no one will like me. 」

After "burning breast" , she was forced to put on a very tight breast , just to make her chest more flat , but the breast was pressed to make it almost impossible for her to breathe .

A few years later, she was forced to marry a man and have a baby. In the process of lactation, the long-term harm of "hot milk" is evident. "When feeding, it's especially difficult, it's like the body knots, some nerves seem to have been destroyed. 」

Home Office: Hot milk, abuse

One woman said that during a physical education class as a child, she found that her body was different from that of her classmates - only to realize that not everyone would be "hot", which brought shock and stress to her. "If the P.E. teachers were aware of it, or if they were trained, I might have been able to get help. She added.

The National Education Union has argued that the UK needs to add "hot milk" to compulsory school courses to protect girls from abuse. Co-chair Kiri Tunks called for staff in British schools, particularly pee teachers, to be trained to be more sensitive to the signs. She also hoped that British schools would pay more attention to the issue of "burning milk" and pay the same level of attention to the issue as "circumcision".

Nicky Morgan, the Conservative MP, argues that the issue of "hot milk" should be noted, dealt with and stopped. She also said that teachers played an important role and that teachers should be educated, and even those who needed to be in contact with girls or young women at work needed to be trained.

The Home Office said teachers had a duty to report if they found a situation that was worth warning of. In addition, while the UK does not have a direct legal penalty for "burning milk", the Home Office says this is one of the forms of child abuse and should be prosecuted under the law.

Angie Marriott, a self-defence lecturer at Cheshire Police, said reports of "hot milk" were rare, so for a long time the reality of "hot milk" in the UK had been covered up and unknown.

"It's a'sensitive, hidden crime', with sgoin to situ out for fear of the "sousted fromtheir communities."
"This is a "sensitive and covert crime". Women are afraid of being ostracized by their own groups and therefore afraid to speak out. 」
- Angie Marriott

"I know this is happening because people have a divulged it to me, and've've said it's first time open-it's've Ever d'it'r what's happened to them, and and they felt."
"Because some people have told me, I know the situation. They all said it was the first time they had spoken about it, and they were ashamed of it. 」
- Angie Marriott

Angie Marriott wants the public to pay attention to the "hot milk" issue. The scars of abuse do not disappear as girls grow up, often casting a shadow of the mind.

What's wrong with a woman's breasts?

"Hot milk" and "circumcision" also need to be taken seriously by the public. Circumcision, meaning "female genital mutilation female Genital Mutilation (FGM), refers to the operation of partial or complete genital mutilation on a woman for cultural rather than therapeutic reasons. This custom has attracted the attention of the international community in the past because it has severely damaged women's physical and mental health and human rights. (Extended reading: Seeing the loss of two female physiological organs: "Intimate Words" and "Circumcision" rituals)

Most of the people who circumcise or "burn" girls are mothers or other female elders. These mothers were not meant to hurt their daughters, but they were the driving players. They may have experienced or feared sexual violence in their past life experiences. The environment or social atmosphere, in their eyes, is full of risks and crises, so it is only by doing so that it is possible to "protect their daughters".

"Violence is systemic because it targets members of a group simply because they belong to that group. Any woman, for example, has reason to fear rape. The oppression of violence exists not only in direct victimization, but in the daily knowledge shared by members of all oppressed groups; Five Faces of Oppression ( Five Faces of Oppression ), Simone Weil

These mothers or elders, citing the "reduced risk of sexual offences" to "reduce the risk of sexual abuse of girls", burn their breasts flat, flattening their breasts, thereby reducing sexual attraction. However, doing so is not at all conducive to addressing their fears of sexual violence. In order to protect the injury in the name of protection, in fact, the implication is to review the victim's thinking.

Reducing the harm that sexual violence does harm to girls is not to put the blame on them - "avoid chest bumps" and the idea of "avoiding exposure" and "avoiding going out at night" falls into the confusion of the victims of the review. (Same-sex show: Why can't victims of sexual assault resist? The world is telling women: you're sexually assaulted, you deserve it.

The discussion of sexual violence is not just about reviewing the victims, but at making the perpetrators truly accountable; Only when we face the pervasiveness of gender-based violence, begin to face it and start discussion, can we really solve it.