The society would say, "He's your dad after all" and "No parents are good for your children," but is that really the case? They also said, parents are not intentional, things have been so long, how can you so "remember hate"? But is it really the kids who are too much of a problem? We will grow up and have more power to bear the power of harm, but dear ones, the children are still waiting for your apology.
In April 2019, women fans posted "The Most Wanted to Run Away" message on facebook, collecting more than 600 responses to the scene of the family's pit scars. Have netizens say, home is cold, do not go back can? There are many people, wandering outside the home, hesitating whether to open that door, the door still have the love I look forward to?
We stand there, very light and slow to recall, or very heavy very painful to think that they have heard the sentence, let you want to be angry and leave home words. Don't be afraid to tell, let's go back to the scene and see where the wound is and what the pain is.
"This is my house, you live here, you have to listen to me." 」
Dear lord, is the home in your heart a house or a family?
"The elder is the elder, the turn is not to say to you mouth." 」
But parents are not always right.
"You're married out of someone else's house, it's not about us." 」
I'm a daughter, not a son, don't this family love me?
"You might as well have an egg, or you can fry it." 」
Am I not good enough to be liked?
"It's not that I'm going to give birth to you, it's your own cheeky face to follow me." 」
Neither am I, volunteering to be your child.
If you are familiar with these words and feel helpless, you would like to recommend them to adults and children:
Family Relationship Sitt: Reconciliation with Parents, We All Have the Strength to Repair Our Wounds
On the way home, reconciliation with my father: I hated you, but I chose to love myself
Family Psychology: Why do I always think my mother hates me?
How terrible is the phrase "no parents in the world"?
In these children's words, why is the only family that gets a "paid piece, a price of quality" affection? Adults don't love me just because I'm a daughter, not a son; I'm a last-class, not the top three; I'm gay, not heterosexual... We can continue to list. In these relationships, mixed with money pull, house property rights, children are assets, to raise you have to have a return, to "worth", have "face";
Too much to say, too painful, and some people can't help asking, "Home" is really so terrible? A home, where did it start?
At the social level, back to our familiar Chinese growth education system, is based on the patriarchal system as the center, at home to father as the long, in the school to teachers as the respect - we said that the tens of millions of sentences "stand up, stand up, teacher good", respect for the long and Vino, can not be ignored ethical order. Back home, you also have a rule class that belongs to every home. The concept of "elders" and "older" is clear, the rules of the family are set, the child should not doubt what his parents say, what he does is for the good of you.
Psychologically, for example, before dealing with maternal trauma, Susan. Fovo first put forward the general psychological feeling of "questioning motherhood as a taboo". She points out that children don't usually doubt their mother's love for them, even if one day you feel that the mother is "weird" and you find that she doesn't love at all, and that you're only going to hurt you, but there's still a strong faith in motherhood in society as a whole.
But the notion that "parents are always right" allows children to doubt, blame themselves, or become isolated.
We have also seen in these messages and family stories, some adults or not worthy of respect. In the name of filial piety, the above under the threatening words and spiritual blackmail, so that the family has become a place of oppression; Or, some adults also misunderstood the meaning of family existence and get along with, the family originally lies in the blood relatives, happy a human belonging imagination. Now on the scale of two love, so that the home has become the field of investment compensation, who dropped out of the rules of the game, who will be punished.
It is hard to start a family, many adults are not born to be parents, are still learning, but there are no parents who make mistakes, we respect the elders, with each other's truth, equality and respect to exchange.
And then, who's going to give me a home?
Some people will say, when the children have grown up anyway, and now open the wound, dial the cloud to see the blood not see the day, so that the mood is magnified, for what is it? What can we change?
We grow up under the deep-rooted ethical concept of filial piety, "the world is not a parent" like a solid wall, collision must not, the face of the cold. You stumble all the way, often as if accidentally stabbed, or big or small wounds, left on the body, and so one day you grow up, your body and heart will be strong, you finally have the strength to look back, that road related to home ah, you are weak into children, tears like rain.
Because about the wound sat at home, it's not getting better.
In this message launch action, what we want to do is to get everyone to start practicing. The dark corners of the house that have confused you, that you've hidden, that you don't want to take on alone, are true.
Children grow up, but how many more themselves, stay in that year did not grow up in that place, sad to look at?
The people who hurt you that year, it is your mother, your father, you loved them, or loved them, but the words they said, you still care, you remain in that place, and so on an apology. That's true, too.
Let's not say, "Parents are parents after all", and instead, "family is family after all"; It's hard to have a family, but we only ask for one word - will our love make each other grow?
Pictures . . . . . . . . .
Walk through a home, want to ask you now, how are you?
Whether you've found a way to get home again, or still lingering outside your home, the subject of home is a pain and pain. It's going to be hard for you, or the whole family, to go back to the scene and say the pain. You will see love and hate, and you will experience all sorts of irreconcilablethings, but at this moment when you decide to start gazing and confiding again, you have more and more power to support your inner child, to take him home, or to make a whole new home.
"Let you most want to run away from home a word", said this sentence, in order to find that after leaving home, we can be brave again, walk home.