Interview writer Zheng Ruqing: I am not just Zhang Yanning mother, I am a writer, I am the main body

Wrote a lot of children's literature and prose, Zheng Ruqing himself speaksoftly, the language used is also like prose, gentle and direct to the people. In addition to her title as a writer and professor, she is also Zhang's mother, but she says she doesn't like to be called "Star Mom." Because, she says, being a mother shouldn't be the invisible person behind the child.

She is Zheng Ruqing.

Very few women, very fairy tale, she is not a star mother, is the writer Zheng Ruqing

More than two decades ago, she gave birth to two daughters in Munich, Germany, a mother-daughter chronicle, and it was her story. In love is a parent-child passport she wrote, seven years, a family continued to migrate from this city to the city. When her husband left, she became a single mother in the other population, moving no less than ten times. Her feeling is, "The definition of home is never a fixed number, but in a place of love." 」

"When it comes to home, emotions are very complicated. There are usually two forces in the heart of the average person, one is tired and angry at home, the other is the powerful old force swaying us. She said. We are angry with our families a lot of the time, but in the end it's hard to resent.

She said, "After all, it's home, you're in a state of emotion, or you have to go back." To be able to really definitely never go back, usually rely on a bit of luck.

Pictures . . .

My mother, it's like a dream.

Zheng Ruqing is a person who cares about love. Last year, she published another book, "The Grocery Store on The Street of Fine Aunts," about the impact of the family's separation experience on her, her father's political connections to Japan, her mother's long illness, so that she moved in the grandmother's and stepmother's home, became a child eager to love. This year," "Chichi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi-Chi- My childhood was unhappy, so I wanted to be a better mother. (Extended reading:"Being a mother, comforting the child in my heart" interview with single-parent star mother Zheng Ruqing )

Family matters, inevitably trivial. She spoke of her mother, her voice faint, but it heard that we were faintly worried.

I've only seen my mother twice in my life, the first time I was three years old. Martial law then had a national census, and everyone had to return to the place of residence. I was very young and was held to see her. But I cried in the middle of the night, my mother lung edptoy third, very serious, look at me such a cry, she is very angry. Eyes stared greatly, pointing to me scolded: "So love to cry, turn to good!" (Yannan)

This is Zheng Ruqing's only memory of his mother.

"Maybe she's a patient and she's in a bad mood, " he said. She explained for her mother. The year after she was told that her mother had passed away, when she was four years old. "At the moment, I don't really understand or know how to react. After all, to tell the truth, I don't know her at all. 」

Pictures . . .

The second time I met my mother, was dreaming two months ago, her mother stood at the head of the bed, or young. Zheng Ruqing thought, unlike childhood to see the picture, the bottom of my heart only hidden fear, she is very happy. "Mom finally came back to me. I said, "You're not here for more than 60 years, I'm really hard." Mother heard, happy face broke down again. 」

She immediately realized that she had finally returned the wrong words, making her mother unhappy. She had to apologize and say don't get angry. Not long after, my mother left again, and in that instant, she woke up from two layers of dreams. She's a little embarrassed. "Sounds fantastic. When I woke up, I only felt that it was an empty life. The hole was there. You'll never make it up. 」

In her words, there are always fairy-tale archetypes. Unable to be pleased by the mother, like a dream bubble, elusive.

Fortunately, there are daughters, they are the image of love.

The daughter grew up to be a mother, and the girl was inside. Fortunately, she met her two daughters. The eldest daughter, The Little Daughter, Ning, filled her desire for love. The first time her eldest daughter called her mother, she said, she seemed to hear her calling her.

"I sometimes even feel like a role swap. I thought, if I had a mother, would it be like yanning and Ning to me? 」

The mother-in-law, looking for Zheng Ruqing to talk can not be better. I asked her if she would say "I love you" to her daughter on weekdays. She immediately replied, "Of course!" The first thing they do when they go home must be to hold me first. Mom, I miss you so much, look so happy to see you. 」

I'm not a star mom, I'm a writer.

But on Mother's Day, we also talk about her rethinking of the identity of the star mother. Writer Zheng Ruqing, Professor Zheng Ruqing, star mother Zheng Ruqing, which one is her own? People know her, always because of her daughter Zhang Yanning, as a woman, as a professor, she can not help but protest, talk about gender issues. Many manufacturers love to find her to shoot with Yan Ning, but she really does not like to be called Yan Ning mother, or star mother. Why?

"I don't really like being called Mom Yanning every time, or Star Mom. Because everyone has their own subjectivity, perhaps in your occasion, I am your mother, but I am in public, I am also my own ah, I have its own role. Because it's all the result of more than a decade of hard work in society, and that's certainly to be respected. 」

She also does not like to be called Zhang mother, because as a daughter-in-law, is not the husband's accessory, not to mention, she also independently supported her daughter to grow up. "I don't want to be seen as an affiliated role in that family anymore. 」

"So I really don't like being called Astar. I've always said that I'm "Sin Mom", hard-working mom. I also don't like to be called Zhang's mother, because I have nothing to do with their family, I don't want to be attached to that family role. Many single mothers must have this problem, how can they be single parents, but also to be called a mother? (Extended reading:"Mother's hand letter" Lai Fangyu: to be a mother, first of all to be yourself)

"Mum is definitely not the invisible person hiding behind the child. I love my children, I pay, I do not care, but can not forget, I am also a person of subjectivity. 」

Pictures . . .

Have a bad relationship with your parents, please put your hopeback back on yourself.

When it comes to generational communication, she is an enlightened mother. I asked, never quarrel with my daughter? There will be quarrels, and so will the mother and daughter. She said of course, ah, when Yan Ning had to step into the performing arts circle at the beginning, it was very noisy. However, she also has a mother and daughter and a good trick.

"Sometimes communication comes to an end, but I actually tell them, what is my motivation for speaking?" Mostly because I love them and worry. 」

Some parenting books will remind parents not to use love as blackmail to communicate with their children. Zheng Ruqing said she understood, but also prone to a misunderstanding, "If you don't say, worry is out of love, how do you tell them that you love them?" Many of the starting points of communication are mutual goodwill, but because of the decline in attitude and cognition, and become to win or lose. (Extended Reading: How to Be Comfortable with Your Parents as an Adult?) Practice being friends with your parents)

Photo by Zheng Ruqing

When your generation has a bad relationship with your parents, don't be depressed, you put your hopeback back on yourself. Start with you. The previous generation did not have this kind of parenting habits, you have to forgive him. And when it comes to your generation, you have more information and you can have more introspection. Change, it's up to you.

Then, not just to change the relationship between the next generation, you can also start to change the relationship of the previous generation. You have to try to forgive them. After all, it is because of them, as children that you have access to these different worlds. She said. This paragraph is not only like to me, to my daughter and Yan Ning, but also more like to Zheng Ruqing himself, under the footnote of life.

Many people often say how your parents treat you and what you will do to your children. But this is not applicable at all in Zheng Ruqing. Her childhood is very lonely, but she used her life to accompany her children, write stories, but also complete their childhood.

We'd like to give you such a less typical mother's story.