Exercise yourself happiness: Be the first person to grieve for yourself

When it comes to "happiness", what is the first picture that comes to mind? Maybe it's after school or home, getting together for a drink with three or five friends, maybe waking up in a hurry in the morning to find out that it's a weekend and having an elegant breakfast, or maybe the long-awaited movie sequel is finally released, so you catch a glimpse of it at the premiere. Happy, there are many shapes, and everyone has made different comments for it.

Women fans "I love my day" into the sixth year, this year's theme is "happiness is a kind of superpower", on May 25, the night before the arrival of the full-day celebration, we invited writers Zhang Xi and Su Gorgeoushui to a talk salon, and you share the joy and healing of the super ability!

Happiness can be freely defined. Zhang Xi and Su Gorgeoushui's imagination of happiness comes from first understanding themselves, learning to perceive emotions, and facing up to their own existence.

Happiness, starting with small things

Happiness is not necessarily ecstatic, nor is it necessarily an important thing. Zhang Xi and Su GorgeousHui's happiness, are based on small things.

"I'd like to ask two people to talk, what is happiness?" The host, Xiao Lan, moved his gaze from the full audience to the two authors next to him. "To hear my own voice is the happiest time for me, " su said with a smile. People always know themselves first, she says. When a person is able to recognize one's own emotions and see every pulsation of it, it will further explore the existence of happiness. "Being able to translate your subconscious and understand what you're thinking is a moment worth ecstasy. 」

Su gorgeous looking to the side of Zhang Xi, Zhang Xi showed a smile, followed the topic: "I am actually a very easy because of small things happy person." Zhang Xi shared that when she went to Jinmen University yesterday to give a speech, the organizers sent her a canvas bag, which happened to be the style she wanted for a long time, and that such a small matter was enough to make her happy. "In my life, there have always been all kinds of little happiness. For example, if I don't have to wait for a traffic light to cross the road, I think, "Wow, so happy!" Zhang Xi's tone gradually turned excited, causing a burst of laughter on the scene.

Zhang Xiton, he went on, in fact, she is not a must pursue happiness. "Happiness is like a bubble to me. Zhang Xi tilted his head and thought of a metaphor, "When you eat chewing gum, you blow it to the maximum, it will break." So, I will let happiness and not happy, all enjoy the body. So, how do you keep yourself at least as happy as usual? Zhang Xi said: "My inner pleasure is to find out the outline of their own. Su listened, nodded, and the two thought symmuch together.

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Can I, i don't like myself?

Before we talk about happiness, maybe we have to talk about not being happy. The two authors, who have been smiling since the lecture, also shared that they had had unhappy times. (Same-field plus: Interview su Gorgeous Hui X Zhangxi: Everyone has a wound, occasionally do not love their own very normal)

Su shared her experience. At that time, she was 29 years old, everywhere frustrated, because of the departure of the unemployed, she cast thirty resumes, but all of them fell into the sea. "I've always dreamed that I'm walking through a black tunnel. "Downton, Su continued, "I feel like even the cats and dogs on the street don't love me." I really appreciate what is called "unhappiness" - it may be too light, or even to the point of depression. The Buddha infected su gorgeous hui at that time faced the grief, the audience have a slight eyebrows.

"Then one day, I found out that I didn't love myself. Su said that for the first 30 years of her life, she was yearning for what others think of herself. "I used to just focus on confirming that people loved me. I try to play that way and show him what I want to be. When she knew about it, she felt much more relaxed and seemed to know herself better.

"Why have we spent most of our lives asking others to love?" "Do you really think other people have the ability to love you?" Why do you expect it so desperately for your love for others? Su Gorgeous Hui threw a few questions in a row, the scene into a short meditation, there are many people frequently nodded, Su Gorgeous Hui's words quite feel.

"When you're left with yourself, and you don't even love yourself, who can you think about you?" Su GorgeousHui

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On the follow-up, Zhang Xi also shared his thoughts on the identity of the writer. "When you have the identity of "Zhang Xi", I often feel that I am loved by others, it is wonderful. She went on, "My two names are separated by my first and pen names." I can't face the real me, to their own hate, has been very deep, very deep. Zhang Xi spent a period of uneasiness, afraid to embrace the true self.

She said that there was a friend's party, friends said there was a her reader, please Zhang Xi and so on to do a self-introduction, say hello. At the moment, Zhang Xi is very panicked, hiding in the bathroom for a full five minutes, is to avoid the self-introduction link.

She doesn't understand how she can be afraid of this? Later, she tried to confront this fear in many ways, like drawing and gazing at herself in the mirror. And either way, the starting point is to love yourself first.

"You need to love the one who no one will love, that is, yourself." Zhang Xi

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How to live with emotions and be a happy person?

After talking about unhappy experiences, we want to know, how to face negative emotions, and then go to happiness?

As a writer, the two people, and the way the emotions coexist, naturally, there is no less writing and creation. "I've been writing about myself, and I've written it down, whether it's good, embarrassing, and ashamed. Through writing, she found that she and herself had been strange for so long. "I thought I had myself, but I never had myself. Su yulia then decided that she would be the first to mourn for herself. "Reconciliation with yourself is the first step. 」

"You have to see that there is a good powerless self, where you are hurt. Su GorgeousHui

Zhang Xi believes that people tend to care too much about what others think of themselves. She went on to cite the "mercionism" symptoms she referred to in her new book, "Chang'e Park II".

"If we've always been attached to other people's standards, we're like a domination of the doll. Zhang Xi

When Zhang Xi is frustrated, he draws more often than the text. "I've been practicing, drawing the "circular cake of life." When you draw, you will find that you may accidentally take which part of your life too seriously. Her approach is to draw a chart of the circle cake belonging to Zhang Xi, perhaps in her life, the writer's identity accounted for 20 percent, the daughter's identity accounted for 30 percent, and so on, assigning her own role. When she's in trouble in a role, she goes back to the pie chart and comforts herself, "Okay, that's okay, only 20 percent of me is belittled." Once, Zhang Xi faced a low tide, the publishing partner and she said, "Don't forget, you are not only the author in the reader's heart, but also our good friend." 」

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After listening to the two authors share, the host Xiaolan made a simple summary: "Happy, really is a super capability." Before you're happy, you may have to go through a lot of unhappy times and don't love yourself. What else can we do to practice that we love ourselves more and be happier? 」

"Love is feeling, love has a heart in the word. Su Gorgeoushui drew a heart in the air. "You have to be able to feel, to be able to link with yourself. To be happy, she says, you must first take care of your feelings. "We are often not allowed to be allowed, but to be a positive emotion. You can allow tears, you can allow low tides, you can allow love less to lift. 」

"Love yourself, not necessarily to love your own bad place at once. Zhang Xi smiled and said that he had a long time, dare not look at himself in the mirror. Later, somehow, when one day, she finally willing to face herself in the mirror, she seems to feel less hated of themselves. "When you look at you in the mirror, you will unwittingly spend a little more thought, to pay attention to the feeling you do not like." This uncomfortable, needle-like pain, must be faced and present. After all, there is pain, only then the struggle and bloom.

Happiness is a kind of super power. How much time do you spend focusing on yourself every day? Can you be aware of your mood and sorrow, or even a more subtle emotional turn? Happiness may not be an easy thing, we can start with the examination of our emotions, practice happiness, practice love for ourselves.