I asked Mrs. Science, and the question satout at home was often buried deep and wide. Home is so difficult, but why human beings are still relentless, family, buyers, home? 'It's an animal instinct to go home and why you're wandering,' she said.
In the summer of 2018, Mrs. Science posted her first film on Youtube, using science to talk about life, clean background, never-lose words, and aconvergence of the air."
"Hey, how are you doing today?" 」
Hundreds of greetings open a science window, but the most popular, but the rational explanation why you fall in love, why you can not walk love, how long can be good? Mrs. Science love classroom, good medicine bitter mouth, may be more than the gender expert's shush cold ask warm also fast and effective. In just six months, her channel received a million followers, making her one of The Top Three Fastest in Taiwan.
She said that human feelings act, seven passions, do not be afraid, rational factors can take you to a better place.
And love lecture hall said a lot, I asked Mrs. Science, human feelings in the most complex, sometimes family. This time want to find a wife to talk home, want to know such a circling tangled face, is there a scientific rational solution? Blood, family, family, what they say is born, the direction of the heart, the ownership of life, but we often feel prickly and itchy. Going home is the hardest way for modern humans to go? (Interview: Interview with Mrs. Science: It's very scientific to be strong for the sake of making a family and being vulnerable to protecting children)
Home is the system, but to treat the family as an individual
"It's a really big problem. To talk about the family, Mrs. Science said to me. The difficult problem of home is deep and wide, not scientific three words, you can go deep into the emotional sensitive area.
"But we may have to think about how many people are really willing to face this problem. In fact, in the face of emotional problems, as modern people will have the knowledge that we will know that there are some pipelines to be co-found. For example, consult, or find a friend to mediate.
It's just, if you had a big fight with your mom today, would you go to see a consultation? "You should feel too much trouble, too. Family issues, if we pretend to be okay, the days seem to be going well. We tend to let problems hide in our hearts than the face-scratching of a head-on conflict, the inexplicable fear and self-blame that may never be met in a lifetime, or the disparageofing fear and self-blame of the blood relationship.
"And in Chinese culture, you will tell you you can't give up your family. We talkaboutd to the blood involved, the so-called blood relatives, as if there is really so close. So before the question, we worry about the fetters: "We may feel that I will bear it, and continue to be good to him, for a lifetime, to see if it will change." 」
In Chinese culture, because less good at communication, expression, coupled with the smelly and long millennium filial piety, excessive for a modern people familiar with and indisputable noun, emotional blackmail, heartache.
"But from the consultant's point of view, if these people are just bad for your life, you should leave them directly." In many cases, the person who hurts you can be your father, mother, or brother or sister.
And these blackmails, far from helping the relationship, will continue to hurt each other. Like infinite abyss, you are bound for love, so-called affection, filial piety, a lifetime can not escape: "When this person is really hurting you, you have to leave him?" The wife threw out the question, but there was no answer, only stuck in the air, like a stranded family problem.
We continued to talk about the word "filial piety", under "filial piety", is "shun", submissive, no objection. And the wife single-handedly told me that the word was a bit out of date.
"Like many elders will think, you are filial piety if you want to listen to me. But what if the elders are wrong? Do you want to continue listening to him? 」
"There is no child care in the United States to prevent old age. Parents have children, parents are the choice, they have an obligation to raise the child into adulthood, and then to go to their own life. Nor do they expect children to repay themselves. Walking through American culture, she said, there is no word for filial piety in the English word exchange.
But she turned to tell me that she certainly loved her parents very much. It's just that everyone is a new life, an independent individual, not a structure for our father or mother. "It is relatively healthy to maintain a very friendly relationship between parents and children, such as when parents need to take care of him, i think it is very natural thing. Let the family return to the love itself, not the compliance.
"And you really have to keep up with your family." For example, if you have any medical needs in the future, like you may need kidneys and bone marrow, they should all be the first place. The wife said chisel, I thought, it makes sense, but i don't know why a serious family topic heard this, can't help laughing.
Well, it's Mrs. Science.
Why should people have a "home"?
So, in this generation we find it difficult to go home, and not every home can give people a real rest. For example, going home can feel oppressive, stressed, may not be able to communicate with family, may want to love but cannot get close, or may have some trauma, buried deep in the home, but no one is willing to deal with it.
If it's so annoying to go home, why do humans still want to go home?
"If we don't sleep on the street, of course we're going home." Mrs. is another positive sentence.
Scientifically, she says, like all animals, sparrows avoid eagles, and the birds have to return to their nests, giving them a temporary rest. For humans, the so-called predators may be the work, people, responsibilities and roles you want to avoid outside, and when you get home, you can only be yourself. Home is an energy field that gives you the power to start again after you rest and catch your breath.
"As long as it's an animal, you need a place like this." The so-called home, is your nest, can avoid predators, in it is very reassuring to stay. And in the wife's American Taiwan for home experience, a person, can have a lot of such accommodation. What is going on is the heart, not the house itself.
So in the end, what humans need is that belonging. Which house is good, what form of family is good, as long as you can give such belonging, where can be home: "home can be defined by their own." 」
"For example, some people are born without family, but they can set up their own emotional support system. Less family, less family, as if easy to be identified by society as incomplete individuals. But she didn't feel like she'd lose her way without a native family, she said.
"Otherwise why can we now make friends with men and women so quickly, and then break up so quickly become strangers?" She said, human plasticity ah, very high, emotional tolerance, demand for substitution and satisfaction, you want anything, try to construct what it is. That would be your own.
Like the bird's nest we're talking about, the premises of your building, the people you love, the food in, if you don't have a home, or if your home is bad, you don't go back, you can set up your own belonging support system.
Because people need to have a home, but to go home, should be a comfortable thing.
I think of my wife said, a space only bed and toilet, for her can be a home. That's the answer to how much it's coming back to the physiological needs. But looking back, to meet such basic needs, we have to go around and talk about so many family problems. No wonder when I asked my wife, if i can choose any one person in the world as a family, she said not ah, to choose family members, husband and wife children, there may be a third of the chance to choose the wrong, do not give themselves trouble.
She added that it was important to persuade everyone to maintain family ties. Many people now talk about love and health, but rarely want to spread the family's agenda. Because the problems that home can involve are too deep and wide, we talk about "go home" and now provide this place, give a guide, let's start talking about it, and maybe that's what everyone will need.
Between the family, too close to easy quarrel, far and lonely. Home is now a unit, the size is getting smaller and smaller, is because there are more complex people, we can cope with the limited.
But in this limited, can do, people will try to give. Just that,
If we can go home, why do we wander.