Lin Zhengyue said that he is also a mother, if today's children noisy, and not discipline, then one day he will blame his mother. You say you are a mother, but if the mother's love, only to the good child, then you want is actually a kind of obedience.
"Not the Godmother", this sentence is about power, not love.
Image source: Screenshot ofTVB video
Hong Kong Chief Executive Lin Cheng-yue gave an interview to the media's TVB on June 12, speaking in the role of "being a mother", saying that he was doing good to Hong Kong and that those who took to the streets did not know what was the best choice for herself:
"I'm a metaphor, I'm a mother, I have two sons, and if my son just makes a noise every time, "I'm going to do this," and I'm just accommodating him... I think for a short time, our mother-son relationship will be very good; when this little friend grew up, but because of the wayward way, and I will condone his willful behavior, he will regret: "Why did my mother did not remind me at that time?" 』」
At the same time, there are mothers standing on the front lines of rioting, shouting, "I am the mother of someone else, these young people have mothers, put down their weapons, ok?" Another group of Hong Kong mothers gathered in the local mother group statement, saying, "Chief T-cause, Hong Kong children do not need you to be their mother." Please really pay attention to our appeal. (Origin: Declaration File)
From the point of view of home, we can see the scene of the protest of the Fugitive Saan Ordinance in Hong Kong, and we hear the upper-class people say that caring for their children's mothers will protect their physical ity and their needs. And in most homes, in fact, there is still a stage of Lin ZhengYue's "mother theory", or "fathertheory", in the name of love, the oppression of the whole family?
"The ungodly mother" is the exercise of power
Lin's speech revolved around "you don't know what you want" and "So as a mother, I have a responsibility to correct it". Back in the family, this is also a very familiar scene - as adults, as parents, first with guidance and parenting responsibilities; This is a very common kind of home-father-long authority.
But the question is also that today a child, no matter what words he utters or what needs he or she says, is easy to be treated as an unreasonable demand first. The preconceived concept, invisibly, becomes the violent exercise within the family. Psychologist Susan. Fovo once mentioned that questioning maternal love is a human taboo. Children's concerns about maternal love will bring pain, self-doubt, and shame to themselves. While most sociologists are extolling mothers, as if they had children, they can immediately know how to raise them, but that is not the case. It is a delusion to believe that every mother can give a sound love.
In a social atmosphere where parents are great, children first trust their parents, and rarely raise direct opposition even when they find something wrong. They usually doubt themselves first, isn't I too sensitive? Is it against social expectations? If you feel that your parents don't love you, what's the reason? Then it's possible to go into the "Will I get any support for doing this?" in the cycle of helplessness.
At the head here, it is clear how the distribution of power within the family and the "ungodly" "motherhood" reinforce such structures. Today's speech by Lin Zheng Yuexuan is intended to arouse the universal truth of the Chinese community's identity - a mother who will pay the corresponding responsibility for loving her children. But the truth is that this does not mean that the mother, or the father, is always right, nor does it mean that the child should be silenced and disqualified from speaking.
Before love, they talk edified power, so the so-called mother's love or father's love, so choked, eyes red speech, is just a ridiculous words of the lover.
If the mother's love, only to the good child
On the evening of June 12, just after Mrs Lam's interview, the Hong Kong police began to use a violent crackdown on the people assembled by Mr kim Jong-un.
The Hong Kong government claims that the people are "thugs" and that if you are not behave, you will have to exercise public power; However, a lot of times, parents hit children, often just to show others: let others know that I was so disciplined him, I have to exercise the responsibility, as a parent, I do not fail in my duties.
But from the people and the country, to children and parents, each other should establish a relationship of communication, mutual growth in communication; This is a source of harm to children's mental health, as well as for their family health - when I can never express myself well, our future is not worth looking forward to.
Can continue to see, look at the parents face, then who will care about the children's? Children who have been taught and scolded in public are also caught in the eye and the one who is accused: "You are naughty and you are punished." Feel that no one in the world will stand by themselves, and that all the power parity, the deprivation of support, is started by their parents. The child was heartbroken. But as mentioned above, they rarely question their parents in the first place;
"If you're not good, I won't love you." It's something that big people love to say. But admit it, you don't love your child that much. It's just an unreasonable line for a loving parent. You say you are a mother, but if the mother's love, only to the good child, then you want is actually a kind of obedience, unhealthy parent-child relationship, the implementation of the real family significance.
That day, batons, chili water, rubber bullets, all synonymous with the exercise of patriarchy, fell on a Hong Kong "child", skin flesh wounds, pain into the bone.
If this is really what they call home, at that moment, the sense of loss is very clear. Because home should be a place to build together and shelter each other, not a place where you are hurt and afraid.
And if today, the abuser is a parent, don't say you're my father and mother, the home I want, never there.
Lin ZhengYue said, "I make a metaphor", but your analogy, is not appropriate, because from beginning to end, you think of the wrong mother.