Letter to 23-year-old: Confidence doesn't lead to success, you should question yourself

Hey, happy graduation!

These weeks you have heard countless blessings, and friends everywhere to celebrate, take pictures, sad, but also about to become adult pride.

But when someone asks you what you're going to do, you have a short dumb mouth, you have to frown and say, of course, roll to find a job. Watching the next friend graduate immediately employment, ready to fly to a country to study, someone to the institute only can not find their own place, just like after graduation was thrown into the air, no one is willing to catch themselves.

If you feel useless at the moment, share advice from Forbes journalist Rich Karlgaard for graduates.

He said, "You're sicker than the people who have achieved at a young age in a life-winning group and a leader." Clearly, you graduate together, but you are like a person who takes a consolation prize and rewards you for competing. I know, I've been anxious. Let me share my story with you. 」

Pictures:Screenshot of TED Movie

25-year-old Jabbs and 25-year-old self

"In high school, I was a pup, a little bit higher than the average, about 512 students, and I was ranked 94th. 」

"But I don't have a clear idea for the future, so I went to community university (two-year university) after graduation. I said the community, really is the community, just three streets away from my home on the hill. You know, the victory group does not go to the community university, none of the victory group in our class will go to the community university. 」

Later, his grades in college grew from B to B-plus, with some modest improvement. After going to community college, he moved to a four-year college, Stanford, but in the 1970s, Stanford didn't have the same 3 percent admission rate as it is now, but 25 percent, and if he came from the countryside and had athletic expertise, the admission rate would be about 40 percent, and he was a good runner, so he was admitted. But he had a very difficult four years, always picking the simplest course.

He had a roommate named Bob, who usually plays volleyball or goes to the library with him. His roommate had a habit of taking books, highlighters and notebooks, and putting bottles of Pepsi in his bag, caffeine and sugar that allowed Bob to easily digest dozens of psychological, economic, legal papers, and never drift away. While Bob is writing his paper, he can write 40 pages in a notebook, then go to the bathroom, have a Coke, and come back and continue writing.

Bob brought his talents to the best of his ability at Stanford Law School, graduating from the top of his class. After graduation, he joined a company as a securities lawyer, which was a smooth winning group along the way.

He tried to imitate Bob's learning habits and read the same books, but he just couldn't be as full-hearted as Bob.

"I can't sit in my seat for 15 minutes. I'll be studying sleep and dreaming in about 30 minutes. He prefers reading Sports Illustrated to reading books.

In contrast to Bob, he was just a man who tried to graduate on time, working as a typist, dishwasman and security guard.

"I always remember the lowest moment of my life: I was 25 years old, three and a half years after graduating from Stanford, working as a security guard at the trucking range. One night i was patrolling with a flashlight when I heard a dog barking. I looked out of the wall of the sand yard and i found one thing: they had a security guard who was a Rowena (guard dog) and my colleague was not a man, but a dog. A few months later, 25-year-old Jaber's Apple went on sale. I suddenly realized the gulf between me and those who succeeded. 」

Decades later, a friend of his credit clerk asked him if he wanted to create a business magazine together, and as an editor and designer, he decided where the magazine was going. He thinks business magazines should be able to shock, endlessly struggle and risk, and he thinks of sports Illustrated, which he loved to watch in college - business is like a sporting game. So they wrote business like a movement, was popular with readers, and as a result they got many CEO interviews. Like Bill Gates gave him four hours of interviewtime, The Forsyth had the will to buy them, and Jabers hired him.

Pictures:Screenshot of TED Movie

Nothing is called "waste of time": late success does not mean failure

"It's a lesson for late late bloomers: what you've done, nothing is wasted. You've been studying, even if you don't think you're, even if your college professor or school grades make you feel like you're wasting your time in the library. 」

"The world always gives applause to young people, but that doesn't mean we 'got it wrong," he said. Our lives, only need to take responsibility for themselves. We must create the rhythm of our lives. 」

"To stop blaming ourselves, we must stop following the path of young successful people." We should be trailblazers, not followers. "Society always tells us that self-confidence is the key to success, and throw away these ideas!" 」

Are you confused and anxious because you are not capable, but isn't that the chance to start working? To open up new areas, the process with self-doubt as friends, to question their own shortcomings. After repeated exploration and attempting, you will discover your talents and goals in life.

The point is that you are responsible for your life, not expecting someone else to help you.

If you're still confused at the moment, when everyone says to try, you just don't know what you can try. Psychologist F. Diane Barth LCSW says, consider Oprah's 2018 speech:

"It's really good to have a good breakfast. Pay the bill on time. Recovery. Get up and tidy up your bed. Ambitious, dare to dream. Be truly grateful to others and ask for help when you need help. 」

"Put your phone at the table at dinner. Remember the message you posted on the Internet today and you may be asked for an interview tomorrow. Be kind to children, elders, and animals. Invest in a high-quality mattress, I tell you, you will thank me later. 」

It's a mindfulness of mindfulness, keeping an eye on the little details of your life, making you feel your connection to life, and still holding on to that belief when you're anxious and afraid. (Recommended reading: Oprah's warm graduation speech: You were born just to be yourself on this planet)

For graduates who are anxious about the future, Rich Karlgaard says, "Be patient and be kind to yourself." But never be there. It doesn't matter if you look like a fool once in a while, just be patient and explore your passion and you'll be at your peak!

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