Is it necessary to forgive gently to save a home? Grace speaks for the first time in response to Axiang's affair

Photo credit:Grace Facebook

The recent affair with Axiang Xiexuan has been roundly discussed in the performing arts circle. Six days after the incident, today, Axiang's wife Grace posted on her personal Facebook page, writing, "We can enjoy your best, and we can take the worst together, can't we?" "Is it raining in your world?" For me to support you umbrella," talk about the family's wounds, but also talk about how to heal together.

Thus, from the past week of bloody remarks, inciting marital faith anxiety, in her gentle words, only slightly have a gentle cheek exit.

Netizens flocked to Grace's fan page, writing encouragement and saying you're brave. Let's all have a good family together. But in the gap between these messages, we also quietly smell, a new kind of anxiety - is it to gently forgive, I can save a home?

Photo credit:Grace Facebook

If she's gentle, not everyone can do it.

From a recent affair with Xu Zhi'an, Zheng Xiuwen said "the husband and wife to spend together", Beckham cheated, Victoria is always in the first time to support her husband and so on. Media public opinion will drive the wind, said these wives are so firm, so brave. You look at your clapping and say yes, but there may be a lot of uneasiness inside - why do we all seem to have to choose to put it down in such a harrowing thing? If I just can't forgive, can't be a saint, can i be accepted by this society, say I do well?

If I just feel like I'm hurt, I just can't get through this level.

Perhaps, first back to the beginning of a home. We know that it is not simple; it may never be sweet, but it is unusually hard. As you can imagine, you may not trust marriage today, and you may have doubts about family values, but today a person appears to make you believe that because of each other, it seems that you can try to believe to see, to "bet on a." You do not have the courage to become a family for no reason, but to have each other, little by little, to build that courage for each other.

So, in such a journey, you are convinced that two people together to come up with some of their own what, have a piece of paper, have a contract, is to each other, but also to their own agreement.

In the context of such trust, when experiencing betrayal by one of them, it is like denying the home you once believed and built -- that's wrong, or that you're not there. Your sense of denial makes you start swinging, not sure where to go, you start to blame yourself; However, you will find that your long-term inability to ease anger and resentment, so that you start to hurt both physically and mentally;

Perhaps what makes you suspense is that "forgiveness" itself will make you lose all, and you will really fall into the wrong side. But in fact, forgiveness can be either an absolute idea, trying to put down the cycle of "either accepting him or excluding him; You can begin to cultivate tolerance and understand a person's ability; The fact that he hurts you can also get more relief from it. Then you can gradually not be punished for the mistakes you made.

We really don't have to be gentle with the people who hurt you, because what you have to practice is how to be gentle and treat your injured self first. So, don't forgive the other person can, but can forgive yourself.

And her gentleness is not "great."

Back to talk about Grace. Many people will say, she is too gentle, too tolerant, there is such a wife, A Xiang how lucky. But in fact today for the family to say this words, make such a determination, it is not a saint can be simply brought. Behind this, many complex components are included.

When you meet an emotional betrayal, one wants to cut the relationship in the first place because of pain. Because leaving the scene will be the fastest way to make you better. But when a wound is found inside a family, it cannot be so simplistic. You want to blame the emotional itself for the uncontrollable ness of sex, but you don't want to give up your home -- starting this home is your effort with your family; Therefore, if you leave today, it is to acknowledge the failure of the family, and also to deny yourself.

After starting a family, you may begin to see yourself who have not known themselves, found that some places you are careful to see, some places actually want to open. You also practice in these exercises, such as being a wife, husband, mother, father for the first time, and seeing how you can play different role roles in your life, a little bit of hating yourself, and reliking yourself.

At the same time, your other half as your life comrade, you discuss all important decisions, you will do their part just to work for a family; Just then also quietly saved a few moments will not be able to hold on to the home.

Marriage is hard, but you know there's a consensus that two people are going to be okay and not betray that decision.

So at this moment, it is not what you have said to me, but what I believe in, but what I know you say, and you believe it. It is i clearly saw your efforts, but you give up on yourself. But she was thinking about what she was going to do and be able to afford every decision she had made. So Grace turned to ask Axiang, what's your problem, is i not with you? I know your world is raining, let me hold an umbrella for you, let us walk together. Because she understands that a family, what is really needed is not the saint who is inclusive, but the mortal who is willing to work hard.

You know, she's not soft-hearted, but how she's going to make people stronger after the most vulnerable.

So, in fact, it is not only forgiveness, in fact, not great, not a saint. But just a very ordinary, the desire for home. And how you are brave for this longing.

Photo credit:Grace Facebook

Having seen these public figures' volatile homes, one by one or the words of tolerance or nobleness, you may have had anxiety, fear of being less stable or intelligent, and wouldn't it be worth a happier home?

But perhaps, there is no absolute injury to the relationship. They choose a method that may reflect some kind of social expectation, but if that doesn't work out on you, it won't really solve your problem.

In this solution, there is no correct solution, there is no so-called perfect; even if the last choice is a split, as long as that is the last choice with your own way, you because you heard your own voice, you will not be abandoned by home.

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