A girl gets lost in college, meets a long schoolman, cool to solve her problems. This is the campus love scene that many people dream of. But "To Hyun-Nan- Go" is not such a work. It's not just a love story between a handsome master and a silly white sweet girl, it's the story of a girl who is completely exploited by a man to lose herself.

A girl gets lost in college, meets handsome, cool to solve her problems. It's a love story that many people dream of. But "82-year-old Jin Zhiying" author Zhao Nanzhu's short story, Zhixian,scoundral, is not such a work at all.

It's not just a love story of a handsome master and a silly white sweet girl, it's a girl who is thoroughly exploited by a man until she loses her story. (Same-voiced:"Kim Chi-ying," 82 years old: South Korea's best-selling overhead novel last year, and our real world)

When all his actions were, he declared it "for my good."

All the actions of Hyun-Nan brother, for my own good, set off.

The girl opened the first person, said this is my story, Hyun Nanbrother and I proposed. But I want to leave him, this is a letter to him. Then, in her letter, she counted all the memories of the ten years of their relationship, the campus encounter scene, accompanying the book, getting to know each other's friends, the prom, the outing riding a bicycle... These supposedly sweet memories of the interaction, but with her narrative, gradually the extremes of terror. The devil hides in the details, and when we finally read it, we all know what she's been through -- perhaps not a terrorist lover, but at least an extremely controlling object of love.

She recalled, only to find that these exchanges, in the end, are boyfriends "for his own" and lay out a good life, but still in the public, said all this is "for her good."

On the day of the new arrival, she wrote:

All twenty-year-old adults, I was still lost in school, non-stop in situ turn (middle), you ticked the hook suddenly came out, asked where the engineering college of me, and then with neither ridicule nor kind tone said "Come on, I also go to the engineering college." I'm going to thank you, but I can't open your mouth until you take the notebook in my hand, confirm the last page of the table, and walk into the building. I shouted "Please give me back the manual" while following in your footsteps, which is when you sent me into the classroom.

With the help of "Hyun Nango", she began her college life smoothly. Choose classes for her, introduce her contacts, accompany her to participate in activities, warm transfer throughout the day. These behaviors, also gradually make her self-decision, completely dependent on her boyfriend to live.

He picked out clothes for her graduation party and ordered a high-end beauty salon, hoping she would dress like a woman who deserved him. Study with her, make detailed plans, transfer from cram school to reading center, hope she will be admitted to public office. When she couldn't eat, she was forced to eat, hoping she was healthy. And then she also found that her boyfriend so wanted her to be a civil servant, in fact, only to facilitate the transfer of him around.

Pictures . . . . . . . . .

"As long as I say I don't want to make up, I don't want to be a civil servant, you'll say it's all for me." I have nothing to say. Once after the cram school class, I did not go to the parking lot, but from the small door out, for me, it is a strong rebellious behavior, I just think of waiting for you to pull to the purple rice roll restaurant, according to your designated meal to eat late dinner, and then you dragged into the reading room, it is more painful than death. 」

But when she chose to leave, fled to a nearby movie theater and bought a ticket and sat down for half an hour, her boyfriend was cold lying beside her. He said quietly, "All the money has been paid, just finish it." 」

She found herself with no way to escape.

"Then I learned that you looked at my credit card transaction records and knew I had run to the cinema. In the past, all the account passwords, school numbers, employee ID numbers, ID card numbers that we shared were all taken down by you as your own. Didn't I have no friends and no job at that time? If I had one, no one would know, but you know my personal situation well, so on the one hand, I feel very relieved. 」

"Now I know that you want me to be a civil servant based on the high probability of being transferred on your own. Really speechless, you seem to take me completely as an accessory to your life, but I also have my own life (middle slight), in the community rolling, meet all kinds of people, see to the wider world, I saw their own face: the original my life, has not followed my own will. 」

NOT ALL MEN: What it means when a man says "the world's men are all beasts except me"

She went on to recall college:

The professor never asked me in private or asked me for personal information, he always called the students in a respectful language, but you said the professor must have tried otherwise, and therefore lost his temper and asked me, "You will not be upset." You hate physics professors so much that they don't treat students as a normal attitude. Am I too slow? In fact, before you say this, I don't think there is anything strange about the professor. You said, "I didn't think you were this kind of person." To be honest, then I didn't listen at all because of the professor, but if I pretended to be a stranger if I did nothing, i would really be a weirdo.

"Hyun Nam-go" always said that the physics professor to her special interest, said her male friends are disgusting, said that the security of Seoul is not good, men are drug-raping women's garbage. These words, also let her believe that in this world, in addition to the father, only Hyun Nan brother is really for my good man. In retrospect, it's self-proclaimed.

In front of women, some men are used to attacking other men as "bad-hearted", what is implied behind them? Are men who love to claim to be "safe" and "reliable" and "trustworthy" are really what they say is true? In fact, the so-called "I am the only "good man" left in the world is undoubtedly reinforcing the myth that women should be protected. (And what we're after is never encouraging #notallmen to exist, but rather #noneofmen -- no man who is qualified to hurt women.) )

My friends say, I can associate with Hyun-Nan brother for ten years, it is not easy. Are you sure? In the past, I never thought of such a problem.

Until now.

At the end of the story, the girl leaves a long letter to "Hyun Nanbrother" saying goodbye to him.

Postscript: Is controlling love a kind of love?

Girls grow up, but boys are relatively not. After all, girls find that love is not to control each other, but to grow up with each other, choose to leave.

On the face of it, the growth story is over, and the reader is here to roll it out.

But on the next page, in the postscript, he found Zhao Nanzhu wrote: "After an exclamation point, I stared at the last paragraph for a long time, began to worry: what if Jiang Xiannan followed me?" What if he took a picture or a movie? Even the idea of the head itself is bitter, because in real life, this is not uncommon, is it? 」

In the novel, the narrator does not question himself about the love during this period, how many elements are happy. Is this forced and controlled love also a kind of love? When there is exploitation in love, it is terror and not pure.

Near the end of the story, the heroine recalls that the happiest thing about both of them is that they like to ride a bike. "The Yujin River bike path is really beautiful, the sun shines in the river, the breeze of the buddha is still fresh in the memory. On the Poppy Field Trail, we were lucky enough to meet the flowers, and it was the first time I had seen poppies in my life. The food is also very delicious. 」

Such a short description, can not see her love for "Hyun Nanbrother", but also let us think, in the end this whole "controlled ten years", she is happy?

Reading, I constantly think of Yang Wei my first feminist class, was the college boyfriend taught me, the story finally, she melodic memories:

Now eight years have passed, I have not forgotten. Eight years long? Can't forget to represent soon. But after that, I never had a safe life. Later, the contact object almost all will split, lie, only to find that he still has an old-school advantage. Even if it is a very terrible love, at least wholeheartedly, such as fake bag change.
That's the afterword.

Is control of love a kind of love? Zhao Nanzhu has no clear answer. Perhaps it would be painful for the heroine to admit that "she had ever loved" -- does that mean she is used (or even loved) to be treated like this - is it worth being loved by others again?

In any case, He zhixian's brother-in-a-most delicate description of women's struggle and pain in intimacy.

This is the story of the one-sided exploitation of the romantic love, which is packaged as a happy ten-year relationship. It's really a bloody and true love story. It's never a fiction, it's about the real life of a lot of girls in the world.

Zhao Nanzhu himself has written "Kim Zhiying born in 82 years" and "Her name is." Is the idea of despair for one sad woman story after another? (Extended reading: Editor's choice of book, "82-year-old Jin Zhiying" gender non-qualifying, than who is less meaningful)

In the postscript, she writes:

I often think about "living as a woman" and often wonder what people say is helpless, no big deal, and take it for granted. Although I do not believe that "everyone will live a happy life" the perfect ending, but I would also like to believe that that kind of perfect ending, will not be just heaven and earth.

We also want to believe that whether you have been deeply hurt by your partner, whether you have ever questioned whether you have "stepped on the victim's position" or whether you have reprimanded yourself, "This is my life", you have to believe that you deserve to be respected.

Have a good life. (Extended reading:"Ding Ling-Ting column" in the name of love as the kidnapping of the horror lover)