From flight attendants to dust-blast victims, Chen Ning became the focus of media pursuit after the eight-cent incident. She is still recognized on the road and labelled her as a playbook. Four years on, she has a greater understanding of her body. She said, "They are all scars, they are me, and I am them," she said. I can't change the eyes of others, but I never turn my back on myself. I didn't turn my back on my scar. 」
On June 27, 2015, Taiwan experienced a serious public safety accident. The dust-burning incident in The Park, 15 dead and 228 injured, as a survivor, 58% of burns, changed the life of Chen Ning, who was 24 at the time.
Photo: Damusic Music
From the media so-called "beautiful flight attendants" to become "burn survivors." Chen Ning has been the focus of the media's eye-catching pursuit, saying she is a burned flight attendant, put up with a love of play label. 4 years later, with a long recovery, Chen Ning also has more awareness of his body. (Same-field screening: Eight fairy dust girl Chen Ning: the eyes and judgments of others, and can not define you)
She said, "It's full of scars, they're me, and I'm them." 」
"I can't change the eyes of others, so that people feel the scars are beautiful. But I never turned myback on myself. I didn't turn my back on my scar. 」
I've been working so hard, it's like i've got a hole that's always filled in
Having worked as a flight attendant, clothing industry, and later returned to aviation company services, Chen Ning said that he has been in the United States industry. I also knew from an early age that the framework of "beauty" was everywhere.
"From a young age we all know, a school flower how long, boys like how girls grow, mother like son how to dress up. There's always a so-called 'beautiful' box there. As long as you go out of range, you're not a pretty girl. We can only constantly correct the look, cut ourselves, and put the body into the frame.
After a dust explosion in 2015, Chen Ning's appearance changed dramatically. 58% burns to the body means permanent scars. This means that you must wear a pressure coat at all times to avoid hyperplasia. It means that summer will never be able to wear a short-sleeved top. Of course, it also means that from now on endless, the outside world's curious eyes.
"A few years before the incident, it was the dark night of my life. I'm in the cave, I can't see the hole. I kept walking, not knowing if I would go out. Is it going to get better? Everyone says that rehab will be successful, as long as the intensity remains good, you will break free. But in the first year, my condition went back and forth. I tried to shake my fist, finished with my right hand, finished with my left hand, went back to my right hand, but it was tight. In just five minutes, the results of rehabilitation will be zero. It was a really dark year. 」
Photo: Damusic Music
"At first in order to save lives, I continued to return to the hospital, and later, I also did a lot of medical treatment, once at the expense of many million, to play the latest scar-removal laser." Because I want to be as "what I was" as possible. 」
"I'm no longer pretty in the eyes of the public. I'm actually very reluctant. Chen Ning once thought, "This body is not the original me" and kept trying to "go back to the way it was."
Do rehabilitation, medicine, eat a lot of protein, in order to return to the original appearance, Chen Ning has been very hard.
"I'm the kind of person who likes to set a timetable for yourself. She said. Like originally she would have stipulated herself to get married before the age of 28, so she tried so hard in her relationship that she wouldn't let herself rest too long. "For example, after the dust blow, I also stipulated that I would return to work within a year. It's like trying to prove yourself. I'm fine soon, don't worry, don't wait for me for a long time. 」
It was only as time went on that she came to realize the slyness of "trying to get back to the original". "There seems to be a hole in my heart forever. Keep trying to fix it. Fear, anxiety, self-normal, not beautiful enough. She couldn't help thinking, is there an end to such an effort?
"I was the kind of person who was absolutely absolute. I absolutely want to reply, absolutely what. But that absolute, now think of it, is resistance. What's resistance? Perhaps it is resistance to face the real self. (Same show: Eight Fairy Dust Girl Chen Ning: From "I'm Not Enough" to "I'm Really Beautiful")
To the heart of the dirty blood metabolized, the wound dry, will be knotted
Later, Chen Ning began to write. Writing allowed her to comb through her uneasiness and see where she was. "It's a bit like slowly metabolizing the dirty blood in my heart. Wet wounds; psychological wounds, all slowly dry, waiting to get better. 」
In 2018, she published"15 Degrees of Courage: 900 Days of Burning Girls" and published her own story on the Women's Fan website. (Extended reading: Post-fire story , eight fairy dust blast four years, I am ready to meet no longer perfect, but beautiful self)
Photo: Damusic Music
We asked Chen Ning what he would say to any other boy and girl who had been physically injured.
"I want to tell you that you are an independent process. You'll stand here, you'll have struggled, you'll want to be better. So it's a very happy process. You've made the wound scarred. You can also thank yourself for the wound. Because the scars protect you. They are me, and so am I. 」
Combating physical anxiety is not just dry to tell boys and girls, scars are beautiful, fat is also beautiful, spots are beautiful, hairist is also beautiful, so you have to try to love them. It's that everyone can find the meaning of interpretation for their own bodies. (Extended reading: interview Yu Jingping: If you do not want to know themselves, do not light repair ah, will not get better)
When you know, the body has a story. When you understand that you are because of countless pain, love, disappointment, desire, with the body grow into the way it is today, love yourself will not be just empty words.
Love yourself is practicing telling stories and listening to stories for yourself. Loving yourself is not absolute lying to understanding beauty and imperfection, just as you wouldn't judge that someone else's life isn't worth listening to. Love yourself is forgiving and inclusive.
I didn't turn my back on my self, I didn't turn my back on my scar
Chen Ning told us that at the beginning of this year, she decided not to continue to fight the scar.
"Of course I can't change other people's minds and make people think the scars are beautiful. But I didn't turn myback on myself. I didn't turn my back on my scar. 」
"Is scar ingres scar a partner who accompanies you through life?" 」
"Yes, they are the record of my story. How we give meaning to these scars is important. If you can only give them ugly, to cover the idea, your life will always go there. We can give meaning to the body. She said. The eyes sparkled.
Postscript
We asked Chen Ning what would she say if she could say something to herself four years ago? Chen Ning thought about it and said, "I know you must be very brave." Because you've always been like that. But I hope you can relax 1% more every day than you are brave. Because this is necessary to keep people resilient. It doesn't always have to go forward. Nor is it always pessimistic. Stay resilient, and you can actually take yourself far and far. 」