Last weekend, Mr. Hui said on IG, "My husband wants to get divorced because of the burnout, and I want to keep the family." In front of a marriage, you may also wonder, how do I know I won't regret getting married? If today's relationship is in a bottleneck, how do I know that I have done my best before the divorce? Today we'll talk, so I hope someone comes forward to tell you the secrets of your six marriages.
8/18 This day, Han Xing Huishan said on IG, "The husband because of burnout period changed heart want to divorce, and I want to keep the family." In a short message, it's announced that the three-year marriage will end. From June's Song Hui Qiao Song Zhongji husband and wife, to the Huishan An Zaixian couple, when the famous people announced the news of divorce, we bless all the better decisions; (Recommended for you: Five pairs of "Good Break Up" star CP file: from two to one, I leave your blessing to you)
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However, we also discussed that deciding to separate is a matter of courage. If we had chosen to enter into a marriage together, how do I know that one day I wouldn't regret opening the relationship? You might also wonder how good it would be to understand the secrets about getting along with your marriage before you had a problem. Through these six things, let's reflect on the relationship:
Secret One: Your other half is not used to complete yours.
From the relationship between couples related to entering the marriage, may be because of various laws, relatives of the different titles, will make each other feel more than one sense of responsibility and closeness. However, such intimacy does not mean that you must be the same.
On the contrary, the more you enter the relationship between the more inseparable, the more you have to maintain a certain degree of independence. It's important to focus on yourself in a marriage - taking care of yourself and understanding yourself as a starting point, but it helps you bring your best self into each other. When both of you can do this, it's easier for you to maintain a healthy relationship. (Pick for you: two table: marriage wants to go long, first learn to let go of each other's hands)
Secret II: Always realize "What do you expect to bring into this marriage"?
The second mistake we are prone to make is to over-sanctify marriage. We consider it the fruit of emotion, and it seems proof that you should have more tacit understanding and tolerance. As a result, you will unknowingly bring too much expectation into the marriage.
For example, you want him to be your life companion, and emotionally a patient lover who will be a good dad in childcare. However, we forget that before we actually experience these identities, we are actually just beginners. You should be working together to grow, not looking at each other to score points. Having expectations is good, but this list of expectations should be discussed and adjusted by two people. (Guess what you want to see: Marriage Fitness: Marriage is not the end, marriage is more to operate)
Secret Three: Talking about money doesn't hurt feelings, it's important to know each other's financial situation.
Money is a sensitive topic. For some couples, talking about money may be more uncomfortable than talking about sex. But Liz Higgins, a marriage and family therapist in the US, has warned that financial problems can be associated with trustproblems between two people. This is one of the main reasons for people's divorce.
After living together, you may begin to have a blueprint for an ideal life for two people; do you want a house, a car, a child, a long trip every year, or a big meal at the festival? And you'll find that all the ideals are financial. Therefore, you should talk about each other's financial situation and develop the best financial management for each other before living together. (Give you the method: Does talking about "money" consume feelings?) Money relationship between lovers )
Secret Iv: "Betrayal" is not necessarily the last straw, the lack of consensus is.
Another sensitive but common problem in marriage is your perception of so-called loyalty. (Editor's Pick: Betrayal, the most untouchable truth: An affair, do you really don't know?) )
Talk to the other half about the definition of "betrayal"! Things about how marriage is to be maintained, about feelings, are inextricably linked to human nature; Perhaps your bottom line is physical cross-border, and his last acceptable thing is mental infidelity, and this is a world for both of you, and you can get to know each other or reach some consensus. Even if there's still a change of mind in the end, you know you're all practicing ways to make each other more comfortable.
Secret Five: When the situation is difficult, in fact, you can not have to give up in a hurry.
From the Double Song to the couple's event, we see a lot of relatively short-lived marriages. There may be more complex compositions in their relationship, but Liz Higgins cautions that the conflict between two people comes with a lot of opportunities to grow.
Some people may feel that if a relationship, a certain life is not for themselves, then it is the quickest way to get rid of it. But relatively speaking, if you choose to give up in the first place, you will also lose the possibility of understanding the problem more. So give yourself and each other a chance! Unless there is an intolerable act such as violence, other times when you try to solve it, you may be able to get a different relationship to understand. (Another view: Is there a secret to the long flow of water? There's an intimate relationship that comes out of a lifetime.
Secret Six: There is no perfect marriage, accept it like accept yourself.
If marriage is a long way, that is, you are today and the world's most perfect partner on this path, can not avoid you will encounter a different relationship season. There will be a summer, there will be a cold winter. On unwarm days, you may feel uncomfortable and lose your sense of love.
And it's all because, after all, you're two people from different backgrounds, starting a new family. When two people bottleneck, you will see your own vulnerability or insecurity. Liz Higgins suggests accepting the imperfections of marriage is like accepting your own personality gap. And you can start by practicing dealing with your anxiety and taking on the stress and changes in the marriage. Slowly, you will move from being more inclusive to learning to be more inclusive of relationships. (Recommended to you: How do I avoid an affair?) Do nothing but cherish yourself)
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Marriage sounds very difficult, it contains two people's emotional view and family view of the run-in, in reality and ideal life balance. So you'll find that there's always more to know before you enter a marriage. But that is, we will not have the so-called standard answer, no one's marriage represents the model of success, no one will prove failure. We are not marriage sex experts; so you can always throw your share of expectations bravely in front of marriage.