"Clearly not in love, but anxious to call baby?" There is a kind of person, clearly not like you, but often jump out of the chat window: "eat not busy" "how recently ah". Recently this behavior has a name, called Paperclipping, is the office product in that troublesome and chat-loving paper clip. We've all been dead-end people, and we've all been chased by the poor. But love so difficult, in the end how to determine that we do not have a lot of love?

Gender Force X dating dictionary, talking about the subtle difficulties of contemporary love and not exporting. Before we talked about micro-cleaver and seasickness psychology, episode three, we wanted to discuss a new dating word, "Paperclipping," that recently swept europe and america. (Extended reading:"Clearly not single, but love to have an affair with others?" In the community age, there is a kind of cheating called "micro-cleave")

There is a kind of people in the world, clearly did not like you very much, but three days two heads from your chat window jumped out, ask you some unknown words: "good night", "dinner did not" "Are you busy?" You put it off in two perfunctory sentences, but after a few days, you jump out of the infinite loop. This situation, also recently also had a name, called "paper needle man." Give you a few ways to deal with it, identify the problem in the situation, and deal with the Office Assistant.

Pictures . . . . . . . . .

What is a paper clip man?

Simply put, it's the office series, the little helper who doesn't help anything but keeps jumping out to talk to you. The Little Helper is a standing feature of Office 97 through 2002 to prompt users to find the features they need faster. In addition to paper clips, there are many different types, such as puzzles, earth, magician Merlin, dogs and so on.

Pictures . . . . . . . . .

It's just that such a service is not very effective. Even Bill Gates used to say at the meeting that the little helper was the "fucking clown", a feature that was officially replaced by online services after Office 2007 and became one of the childhood memories of many people and gradually became one of the stuff of internet meme.

"I like to jump out and talk to you for no reason."

However, the paper clip that disappeared into the office product in 2019 has taken on a new meaning. The New York Post reports that Paperclipping has recently become a trendy new word for dating trends, describing some kind of dead-end type of person. They usually contain, but are not limited to, the following traits:

  • Both men and women.
  • Maybe you've been out with him, knowing that you don't really like him, and knowing that he doesn't like him that much.
  • I don't know why, he likes cyberstalking, often according to your likes, rush to see your limited-time dynamics.
  • Life is basically not intersecting, but every other time will suddenly knock you, ask some words that are not marginal.

Samantha Rothenberg, a well-known New York illustrator, even painted them. "Sometimes I jump out for no reason, like now. "The truth is, I don't really like you very much. "But I just don't want you to forget me:( 」

Pictures . . . . . . . . .

Why do some people clearly do not like each other, but love to brush the sense of existence?

That's probably what happens when a lot of people go on a date. You'll meet people who know that you don't like each other very much, but you don't hate them. It's just that they'll start sending messages and asking warm questions, and even if you politely and clearly refuse, they'll still run out to talk to you after a few days, and then there's an infinite loop. (Is there a button on the end.) )

"Hey, how have you been so late?" At times like these, you usually hesitate to reply to the message. Is that what happened? Shouldn't he be silently in love with me for a long time? What the hell is he trying to do?

Usually, you have only two options, one is a vague chat, to see what the other person is trying to do. The other is to directly ignore all messages. Underneath Rosenberg's post, many netizens left their feelings in the sand.

"I know this kind of person, like a cockroach that can't be done. 」
"It's just my predecessor. 」
"Really, every three weeks, it's delivered on time...".

"Even if he refuses today, it doesn't mean he will refuse tomorrow" Where is the paper clip man problem?

In intimate relationships, we often encourage people to actively pursue the object they like, and this "initiative" is still based more or less on the "effort will succeed" perception of the feeling. "Even if she rejects you today, it doesn't mean she will reject you tomorrow," "I'd rather kill by mistake than let go of a man," and "He'll reply to the message, and that he's funny." (Extended Reading: Is it an infatuation to keep up? The Failure of Emotional Education and the Rationalization of Stalking Harassment)

In fact, this mentality reflects behind it -- people are always too afraid of rejection -- so we tend to convince ourselves that "rejection doesn't mean he really doesn't want it." However, once this concept becomes a cultural sub-rule, invisible, we are also in denial of each other's will. (Same-field plus: Why is it hard to be rejected?) Because of rejection as "don't care")

Writer Su Gorgeoushui once mentioned that everyone's rejection, there are many intangible considerations behind, but sometimes, we will be the other side's rejection, misreading and reduced to "the other side does not care about me."

Don't treat "rejection" as a denial and disregard for you as a person, then you will be damaged by self-esteem, and at no cost to try to control the reaction of others, but will cause the other person to lose love and respect for each other, causing irreversible damage to the relationship.

In fact, if your offer or chat is rejected, it does mean that he doesn't want to do this with you. But being rejected is not a denial of your personality.

Pictures . . . . . . . . .

If, you're the paper clip,

If you are a paper clip person yourself, always ignoring the other side's opposition signal, three not five on the message, we would like to give you a few suggestions:

  • Respect for the other party is also a subject: the real importance of the relationship, should be if the other party as a subject, please read and respect his will.
  • Put your focus back on yourself: This insecurities may also stem from your lack of understanding of yourself. Think quietly, you like the object, is really the person in front of me? Or is there just better than nothing?
  • Draw the line: If you know, how much you like this person is just good, how much energy do you want to continue to put into the other person?

What should I do if I get caught in a paper clip?

And what if you're the one caught in a paper clip? Even if you know it, this object doesn't put you first, and it's not a potential partner you really like. But sometimes we also understand that it seems to you to take such a seemingly innocuous offer directly to chat with it. After all, it's not sexual harassment.

Give you a few suggestions for a little indecision:

  • Think about it, is it comfortable for you to continue such a relationship?
  • If you choose to follow each other's wishes and continue to chat, go out, stay in friendship, or even socialize, will you be who you want to be?
  • If you think about it, you really don't like this state, you can simply ignore the message or express your discomfort.

In relationships, we may have been the dead and the people who were chased. This article is not in the hope that we will really laugh at the boys and girls who have been in vain to send messages, but that we can all give each other a little more empathy.