"Girls are so angry that they can't marry out. "You are a boy, be brave, don't cry. Have you heard anything like that when you were growing up? Why are boys and girls taught different ways of emotional catharsis? Psychological studies have shown that expressing one's emotions is actually a more important thing than you think, regardless of gender.
"Girls are so angry that they can't marry out. "You are a boy, be brave, don't cry. Have you ever heard anything like that in your growing up? Why are boys and girls taught different emotional expressions from small to large?
In an interview with Harper's Bazaar, Natalie Portman made her observation son-in-charge, according to The Independent. In contemporary society, she argues, women are taught to convert "anger" emotions into other forms, such as crying, sadness, disappointment, and so on.
"We've been socialised to t-believe we're not-feeling angry-we're-feeling sad, we're feeling upset."
"We are socialized to believe that we are not angry, but sad or depressed. 」
"And when i realised it, there was a turn turn in my mind, and i thought, 'oh my god, all thostimes times i s w y b urst ind tears, i was actuallyly ly angry!' I just d't-know how how to express it!"
"When I realized this, my mind suddenly came to light and I thought, "Oh my God! Whenever I burst into tears, I was angry. I just don't know how to express it. 」
Here, let's start with female anger.
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Earlier, TED TALK invited Time magazine columnist Soraya Chemaly to talk about how women's anger has long been seen as a negative energy in society. She notes that women are often perceived as unreasonable and even ridiculed when expressing anger. (Related:TED Talk on Female Anger: I want to be a happy feminist, but it's really hard)
Don't be angry, men don't cry?
Sooraya also gave an example of what happened to her daughter: she built a castle with building blocks, and then every day a little boy pushed it down. Even though his parents were around, he never stopped, saying, "You know, that's what boys are like." He can't control himself. So her daughter had to move the castle to a small corner of the classroom in case it was destroyed.
As can be seen from the above events, women have to assume a peacekeeping role. Society expects that women can show a gentle, gentle, well-behaved look.
As far as my experience is concerned, I was often criticized as a child for "girls sitting and sitting hard to see", and then watching, other cousins are jumping around, even if they are mischievous, the elders are simply saying: "Boys, they are more lively." 」
When women express anger, they are prevented from converting it into other types of negative emotions;
"Masculinity is not without emotions( but those that reinforce male control and status are allowed to be expressed, while other emotions are renamed or otherwise interpreted." 」
Aaron Johnson, "Gender Knots: Dismantling Patriarchy"
Even if men are more likely to show anger, it's not all good. In the book "Gender-towards And Taiwan Society", it is suggested that the reason why modern men are short-lived compared to women is related to the means of showing hegemonic masculinity.
"Men refuse to show weakness or admit pain in order to show a strong and strong appearance, and are ill and unwilling to seek assistance. 」
"The majority of people who suppress emotions, turn to attack others or self-inflicted, murder, suicide, are men. 」
- Huang Shuling, "Gender Towards And Taiwan Society"
Because the gender framework that society has put in place, it is difficult for both women and men to find a way to ease their emotions.
Psychology: Why face emotions?
Why is it important to take care of your emotions? Ask clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Firestone to tell you.
She published an article in Psychology Today about the impact of emotions on people's lives. Studies have shown that emotional intelligence is more important than IQ if you want to be ideal for emotional relationships, health, and quality of life.
Lisa Firestone points out that our emotional reactions at some point are often based on some past experience. When we can not perceive and face our own emotions, over time, it is easy to let the mind and body trapped in the shadows.
"When we live in harmony with our emotions, we become more more in touch with with who are."
"When we live in harmony with our emotions, we become more aware of ourselves. 」
-- Lisa Firestone Ph.D.
"We gain insight into the real real emotions that are the causing our reactions, and we can be one at the wheel, choosing Our actions."
"When we understand how emotions affect the actions and reactions we take, we can become the helmsmen and choose our own actions." 」
-- Lisa Firestone Ph.D.
Understand emotions so that you become familiar with yourself, and when you are familiar with yourself, you know how to get along with yourself and how to deal with people in your life.
Boys want to cry, girls want to be angry
"To be a good person, of course, to be able to identify yourself at the moment, what kind of emotions are being in, so as to gradually understand themselves, and then step by step, with the ability to place emotions." This is emotional intelligence. 」
Cai Kangyong, "Cai Kangyong's Emotional Intelligence Class: Live for Yourself"
If you want to learn how to deal with emotions, we'll provide you with a few practical articles.
- Emotional Exercise Questions: Calm is more important than Happiness
- Get rid of internal and external distractions and be the master of your own emotions
- Let the mind breathable, three deliberate exercises with emotional self-contained
Regardless of gender, we should encourage everyone to express the emotions they want to show. Girls can be angry, boys can certainly cry.
Expressing emotions does not mean venting all emotions, or causing them to hurt and cause distress to others. What we want to convey is that you can truly understand your inner voice and learn to deal with it in a way that fits.