Should patience or divorce? Six signs that you should set a break for your marriage

Recently, there have been a number of news of celebrity marriage changes. From Song Song husband and wife to Fan Bingbing, to huishan and AnZaiXian divorce storm, the two people in the community, said that this marriage has been difficult to continue, especially with Huishan against An Zaixian allegations, so reply:

"On his husband's birthday, he said he wanted to eat beef radish soup, and after he was ready in the morning, he ate a bite or two, and he had a birthday party with his friends outside, looking at his husband, and feeling that the man's heart was gone. 」
"When i was with my husband, he would broadcast loudly about male burnout, and then fall asleep, and I was like a ghost living in the house, and the woman you loved so much turned into a corpse. 」

Such a situation may be a dilemma that many people often encounter in a marriage: How do we know that marriage can no longer continue? When everyone says that marriage needs patience, to insist, feelings will be a long stream, then How can I judge, should divorce, or use time to calm everything? (Extended reading: Three things you should know about divorce in the face of the end of a relationship)

In marriage, set a stop for each other

A marriage to the point where we can't bear it is bound to show signs. For example, if you feel that your other half is being cold-blooded and don't care about your every move, or that the other half is violent lying at your body and specializes in divorce mediation, Dr. Sam Margulies, from past case studies, says:

"A marriage does not break down suddenly, and the marriage will erode over time. 」

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So he put sits on six marriages showing signs of crisis, and if you can't continue to put up with it, it's time to set a halt to the marriage:

1. Failure to resolve conflicts

John Gottman, a psychology researcher who has studied stable marriages and predicted divorceford for more than four decades, says a lack of communication doesn't break up a marriage, but a conflict and a lack of effective communication can lead to marital crises. The unwillingness of the two sides to reconcile their differences and reach a consensus may be that one side believes that the relationship is in dire straits, so there is no point in resolving the differences, or that either side sees the conflict as a war and that victory must be achieved through such bullying. (Recommended reading:"Human situ emotional" do not want to face conflict, let you live more and more away from yourself)

But most of all, one side has given up, which will increase the sense of distance between each other.

2. Emotional alienation

Emotional input is the most essential element in maintaining marital intimacy, and it is important to be willing to express each other's feelings and let each other know how they feel. When one party is unwilling to get involved, the most basic element of marriage can collapse.

Dissatisfaction

Emotional alienation is often accompanied by an emotional fade, and if you feel the other half's emotions are alienated, it's usually the other person who doesn't love you anymore.

4. Lack of sex

In most cases, sex strengthens each other's feelings, and if you don't have sex for a long time, it can affect your relationship. (But in particular, it is important to stress that not every marriage needs to be sustained by sex, depending on the circumstances, no sex can be very loving).

5. The focus shifts beyond marriage

One party begins to focus on children, work, or personal interests, which may indicate that the other party must be outside of marriage to satisfy personal emotions.

6. Preparing for a single life

Starting to seek new interests and build new networks may be paving the way for a single life. Sam Margulies says that in the past, one couple started losing weight and getting a new look, while the other actively sought a job to reduce their dependence on their partner.

Of course, the signs that your marriage has broken down seriously, or that your marriage is over, are little to show. If the other person's change makes you uncomfortable, try to communicate with the other person, say how you feel, and honesty is a good choice.

If there is too much concern, when should I divorce?

When is there a divorce? In fact, there is no best time for divorce, when your mind comes up with the idea of divorce, there are always various voices to stop you, such as children are too young, you do not want to destroy their lives, you have no job, you just bought a house.

If you're looking for a divorce, Karen Covy, a U.S. divorce counselor, suggests asking yourself five questions first:

Will the other half beat you? Will he engage in mental abuse? If the answer is yes, then you'd better get a divorce as soon as possible.

Is the child's condition stable? What would you give up if you didn't get divorced now? Is there a better reason for divorce in the future? Give yourself time to think about how to respond and what time a divorce is appropriate.

Finally, the end of the relationship may hurt you for a while, you do not have to rush to show "I am good", with their own pace to adjust the mood, you will find a broader path. Your life will not end with the end of your marriage! May every one of you who gets hurt in a marriage get better:) (Recommended reading: If you just think about "trying to be better off" after a divorce, you will never be happy.