To you who are hurt by love. No matter gender, everyone will be vulnerable, who can be injured in love.
"Love is like this, you know it's coming, but there's no way." And, when you go, it's time. 」
Orange, "You didn't say goodbye"
It's cruel and true. Think about it, isn't it the same? You didn't intend to fall in love with him, but in their interaction and relationship, you fainted without paying attention. You want to climb out, but like struggling in the mud, it gets deeper and deeper. (Same-field plus: seasickness and bedsickness: after a short romance, how to get ashore quickly?) ) )
We asked on Instagram,yes or NO, if anyone had ever been seasick. A total of 1641 people voted, of whom 76% (1253 people) chose "YES" and 24% (388) chose "NO".
Images: Women fans on Instagram
Seasickness is an interactive result of love relationships. After collecting feedback from readers of women's fans, we found that the word "seasickness" alone has its own interpretation.
Everyone in the relationship of the appearance, state, values are not the same, but the same is, we will be in love bump, hurt, and then grow.
Relationships account for most of our lives, from affection, friendship to love, are the subject that everyone needs to face in life. And no man or woman, regardless of gender, is at risk of getting hurt in a relationship.
Also for love hurt, girls are comforted, boys are ridiculed?
A male friend once shared it with me, and he was previously in a state of shock for a girl. He loved each other very hard, but she seemed to be just fishing in the nets and ignoring him.
At a party with a same-sex friend, he shared the matter with you, hoping for some advice and comfort, but was mocked by others, hip-hop haha.
"Howl, for a woman, sad to be like this." "You are too young to learn more with XX. At the time he got such a response, and someone even half-jokingly said, "You're going to have to sprinkle more nets!" Reduce risk. Then they raised a glass: "Okay! Drink! Forget her as soon as you can. 」
He knew that this was the way they got along with the boys, and he didn't say much, just a little lost. (Recommended reading: Men's LoveLess Fronts . . . we all have to admit that we are just a vulnerable person)
So I (the physiotherapist) began to think about how the same-sex friends around me would respond when I was hurt in my feelings. At that time, some of them immediately called to comfort, some people want to meet and chat with me, there are many people concerned about me good or bad, want to understand the original matter, accompany me to solve. At the moment, when I received the message, I felt very warm and moved, and then took a screenshot of it.
Pictures s. LINE Screenshot
Although these are just two examples, it's also tempting to wonder why the way men and women get along doesn't seem to be the same as what they're expected to be in a relationship.
Let's first understand the term "stereotyped threat effect".
Negative stereotypes create an additional sense of stress and threat, which in turn can lead to a realistic response to stereotypes.
And when it happens on a gender issue, it becomes a "gender stereotype threatening effect."
"Individuals realize that in a situation, the negative stereotypes of their group may be labeled on themselves, and there is a sense of threat; 」
- Huang Weili, "Gender Towards And Taiwan Society"
Further, what is it like for men to be expected in society?
"According to patriarchal culture, men are aggressive, brave, rational, emotionally insatiable, strong, calm, self-restraint, independent, positive, objective, dominant and decisive, confident but not good at parenting. 」
- Allan G, Johnson, "Gender Knots: Demolition of Patriarchy"
Based on these two theories, we can understand that men are expected to be brave, strong and dominant, and that it is difficult to survive in a social atmosphere if they exhibit opposite traits, such as cowardice, vulnerability, and loss of control. As a result, men ask themselves to be brave, and when all men do, they reinforce the impression that men are not vulnerable.
In contrast, women are less likely than men to express anger. If you want to know more, welcome to this article:"Gender Watch" "Women love to be angry will not marry off" psychology tells you that you are the anger.
Fragile, can be healed.
"Sad time / just hold you / send the fish tank / fish tank no water / fish tank has fish" - Ren Mingxin, sad time
In fact, everyone will be vulnerable, regardless of gender. Embrace vulnerability, acknowledge vulnerability, and then heal.
To those boys and girls who swim in love relationships: You may be seasick, ambiguous, struggling to leave. You want to cry, you are vulnerable, but do not know what to do.
Let's practice together, how to face vulnerability, and then find ourselves in a relationship, and love more and more.
- You don't need to be strong all the time: Five ways to face vulnerability
- Personality Psychology: "Staying Fragile" Makes You More Courageous
- Embrace the fragile practice: those who kill you are not deadly
- Relationship Psychology: How to Express Vulnerability in front of a Close Partner?
- The more you love, the less secure you are? Anxiety attachment: recognition of vulnerability is also a form of love