Confessions of a different woman: Why I'm "afraid of men" but still have a boyfriend

Have you ever heard of "masculinity"? In fact, this is not a medically proven condition, but there is a group of people who will directly use the term to describe themselves.

Androphobia is mostly defined as a fear of male or male traits. However, male phobia is not equal to misogyny (Misandry). (First to understand the "misogyny":"Minogynist" all people, there are signs of misogyny)

Dr. Timothy J. Legg, a clinical psychologist, suggests several "male-phobia" symptoms:

• You will take the initiative to avoid meeting men.
• When you meet a man, you feel a strong sense of worry or anxiety.
• You realize that your fear of men is a little unreasonable or exaggerated, but you can't control the feeling.

The level of male fear is deep, if you feel a little shot, welcome you to continue to look down, let me talk to you about some real story.

Growing up, I was "scared of men."

Here, I would like to share my experience and talk about my relationship and relationship with "fear of men".

When I say i'm afraid of men, many people think, "Are you a former girls' school?" Yes, I went to girls' school in high school, but really to go back to my "fear of men" sign, from the country's small and female classes, you can see one or two.

At that time in the class, many little boys like to play tricks on their own good little girls, to use this to interact with her. Generally girls encounter boys tease, usually play back or find a teacher to sue, but When I am joking, I often choke, do not know what to do, or give him an awkward and polite smile. And the boys can't get my feedback, over time, no one wants to make me.

So while some studies have shown that women who have been treated maliciously by men are more likely to be "male-phobia" because of trauma, I have almost the opposite - I have little experience of being maliciously teasing or bullied by men in my studies.

So, where does my phobia come from?

So I thought further about what kind of masculinity or situation, especially easy to make me afraid. The following two directions are roughly sorted out:

• In social situations, it is necessary to contact strange or unknown men.
• More than two strange heterosexual men gathered.

If you say with more precision, what scares me is that heterosexual men who are not familiar with each other, and "a group" of heterosexual men who are not familiar with them, have an effect of multiplication.

For example, when I was at an event today and found that there were few men on the scene, I usually breathe a sigh of relief and even turn edits and say to my friends, "It's all girls, that's great." Or, when I walk down the road and see a group of men coming up, I immediately tighten up, subconsciously want to take a detour, completely afraid to look at them.

Both of these things will still work on me.

Pictures . . . . . . . . .

I'm so "male-scared" and i'm dating boys?

Half of the world's population is physically male, and I can't avoid interacting with men forever. Some people will ask curiously how I build friendships or relationships with other men. "You're afraid of men, so can you socialize with boys?" "Otherwise, where do your boy friends come from?" 」

In fact, in high school and college, I have had boyfriends, and do not exclude physical contact with them. Or, more directly, I would like to fall in love with men and have a desire for the male body.

My fear of men, I suspect, may be anxiety about being dissatisfied with myself.

In the process of growing up, I understand that I am not the mainstream society think beautiful girls, personality is not docile but rebellious. So I see or face heterosexual men, often mind their eyes, think about how they would comment on me, and how I didn't meet their expectations.

Although i am now, know how to accept and like themselves, but in my subconscious, how much or not afraid of the opposite sex, fear that they are not "good".

To think otherwise, perhaps this fear comes from the rejection of the patriarchy. (Same-field highlight:"Xu Weifang column" I became a feminist this way)

Patriarchy says that women should be beautiful, gentle, understanding and team spirit. Not gentle not beautiful, then you wait to climb the slope around the road. 」
- Xu Weifang, "Taipei Girl"

To this day, I still fear men. Still dealing with men, i feel nervous and panicked;

Do you do the same, as if there's a male-in-sitin sign? It doesn't matter, take it slow, step by step, try to clarify.

This one explores my own way, and I'm still walking. Let's practice together.