"Rather than waiting for someone, wait for yourself" Chen Jon: Why do girls want a home, why rely on men?

As a girl, after 30 years of age, after a busy time, you start thinking about finding a home for yourself.

However, you are beginning to realize that there are a lot of people in this society who want to plug in your choices. Someone asks you to have a stable contact, think about getting married? Someone want to control you do not have a boyfriend, not afraid of the second half of life did not rely on? No matter what kind of "questioning" of women, it is the default that our belonging son is bound to depend on another person.

Discussing the relationship between choice and family, we see actress Jon Chen talking about her current stage of life on the talk show "Woman 30 Plus". She wanted to say, 'I'm going to be 40, I don't want to get married, but I have the ability to give myself a home.' Who do you have to tell about this?

Photo A screenshot of the "Woman 30 Plus" movie.

"You want a sense of belonging, not necessarily a man" as a girl's base.

She said, to give a girl a sense of belonging, sometimes not necessarily a man. 」

As a girl, we grew up to be educated so-called happiness, how to find a right person, how to be a good wife, with him to live, support, live the rest of life. But very few people tell you that you don't have to be attached to another person. Because very few people tell you, so you don't know, in fact, you have the ability to find a home for yourself.

For Jon Chan, the way to get rid of these established values is to start believing in yourself. And start with that trust and work for yourself.

"You have to have a foundation to take care of yourself, not to be rich, to do something, but as long as you are self-sufficient." I think any girl who works hard can say this sentence with a sense of strength. 」

The so-called as a girl's base, is when all the people tell you "only this road can go", you know that is not what you want, and you have the courage to pursue another life plan. She said that birthday gifts do not need to send, their own house to buy, in fact, there is a sense of pride: "You choose the place, you create a home, or this sofa, it is a sense of belonging." 」

So the difficulty is not what to do, what to do; (Extended Reading:Single Life After 35: I'm Not Short Of Money, I Don't Lack Dreams, I Don't Lack Your Other Half)

"I'm out of love, but to get back to the home I really want" is not a sacrifice, but a choice.

"I've been on the set for three or four years, and I'm on the team for the New Year. Because every day in the hotel change, there will always be a drift feeling. Recalling her frantic work in previous years, she knew she was making sacrifices: "I've lost a lot of time with my family, or I've lost some kind of relationship that might last." 」

You may be in your 20s, away from home, working abroad, and after 30 years, you're at the peak of your career, and you're at the same time at the fork in the road of choice in your life. For some, this corner is called affection. You'll sacrifice your time with your family, you'll be farther and farther away from home, and occasionally quiet, finding yourself a little out of your head. For others, this corner is called love. You find yourself without an idle date, or at this age, and it's hard to find an relationship that will satisfy you. So one side do not want to give up, on the other side is also forced to miss, and eventually you are alone. (For you to choose:"Single Diary" "Tokyo Woman's Book": love like an adult, in fact very lonely)

However, Jon Chan wants to say that this is actually a lot of time you spend, in the choice of life you want to live: "At that time, it is supposed to accumulate the so-called, the financial situation is good, some drama, in fact you really want to take it." Slow down because she knew she didn't have enough money and didn't have her own house.

One thing she wanted to suggest was that maybe 30 years old was the choice. You are bound to lose a lot of things, but he does not look at what he has lost, but his own choice. 'It's a call back for initiative,' she said.

"Those moments come in, you feel you're smooth every day. 」

Now she, no longer take so many scripts, no longer chasing money to run: "Because there is a home, so you want to seriously, a little more mind in the home." Once rushed very fast, is to give themselves a stable belonging. You think you're sacrificing, but you're actually practicing self-worth. (Also look:30 years old, i'm still eligible to be confused?) )

Photo A screenshot of the "Woman 30 Plus" movie.

Photo A screenshot of the "Woman 30 Plus" movie.

"She must not be happy" 40-year-old woman, marriage is my business.

Jon Chan, who turns 40 this year, is beginning to face the whispers of the outside world.

"Why do we not believe us when we say we are happy?" A 40-year-old girl said she didn't want to get married because it's fine now. But you have to say, she must be pretending. Then, in her words, look for some clues, trying to embed the moral values that exist. (Editor's recommendation:"Popular GirlS": 39 years old do not marry, I have no children, no husband and who is offended? )

"As girls, we always suffer more hostility. 」

But she's going to say that no matter how old she is today, she'll do what she wants to do and find the dream she wants. No late or no late problems, only down-to-earth, for their own to do every choice, ask the conscience.

You want to work hard, want to fall in love, want to get married, want to have children, want to have their own home, in her eyes, girls are an independent individual, is an interesting soul, what choice to do, not this society to tell you, but yourself, can start to ask yourself. (Editor's Pick: What must be done at 30? To the age I live, I only do what I want to do.

This one-of-a-handed start-up is extremely important.

You'll add a strong protective net to yourself, not to block anyone, but to eliminate unnecessary distractions, to be more comfortable, to create more links with the world, your own life. Then you will see in such practice the sense of security you find for yourself.

We talk about what choices we can make when we're 30 years old, and how do they help us build the home we want?

At this time, you are both a working person, a daughter in a family, or a partner of someone. What we want to talk about today is that when the general social value is that girls have to be attached to another person in order to gain a stable belonging;

No matter how you want to arrange life, the transition between different identities and time, can finally make you feel down-to-earth, is that you can afford their share. It could be a physical house or a spiritual root. Just as you know, you don't have to go through someone else to practice the ideal life you want; Go back to yourself and create a place for yourself.

As long as you are sure of it, the more secure your inner home will be.