Growing up, some of the friends who had been good friends had faded out of each other's lives. Clearly dear good sister, why gradually drift away? Let's talk about the break-up from a psychological point of view, and provide a way to repair your friendship for you who want to find your sisters.
Have you ever been away from a man? You had an endless conversation, but now you have nothing to say? When it comes to "breakup", you may think of love for the first time; Breaking up with a sister, in fact, and "breaking up with a lover", has a similar look. (Same show: Taylor Swift and Katy Perry's Century Reconciliation!) Relationship Psychology: More Difficult than Love, Friendship)
L and K know each other for a long time, accompanied each other through the youth time, they talk nothing, in the growth of the stumble, for each other to wipe tears, give each other strength.
Pictures . . . . . . . . .
"You dragged me away from a blizzard of love / I carried you away from the break of a dream / Meet a person and then life changed all over / It was not love"
Fan Qi, "A like summer like autumn"
This song, almost their friendship set. Every time you go to KTV, you always want to take each other, hip-hop haha to sing to each other to listen to.
However, as the two grew older, they ran for things, from life circles to careers, as if they had gone in different directions. Less topic, less frequency of meeting, slowly, their friendship, as if by time to brush light. The only thing left between the two, almost just facebook friends, occasionally watching each other's dynamics, even to leave a message feel a little embarrassed.
Why did the sisters, who had such good feelings, drift away? Have you ever had that experience?
Psychology: Strong friendships also need to be sustained
Clinical psychologist Dr Andrea Bonior, published The Fix Friendship, a book dedicated to "Friendship Repair", which provides an explanation of the alienation between friendships.
"Often, two friends grow not because of a specific conflict, but be be theycause gradually stop ly in each Dyly to feeling too busy in everyday life."
"Usually, two friends are separated not because of a particular conflict, but because they are busy with their lives and gradually reduce their trust in each other. 」
- Andrea Bonior Ph.D.
"It's the lean erosion in emotional intimacy it can can'n can'n the strongest of friendships."
"When emotional intimacy is eroded, it can even weaken strong friendships. 」
- Andrea Bonior Ph.D.
That is, as you drift away from your good sister, the reason may be simple, that you accidentally ignore the importance of interacting and keeping the link.
Interaction, refers to not necessarily the number of frequent gathering, but let each other know: I have you on the heart oh.
"I don't want to break up with my sisters!" How to maintain friendship?
To build a friendship, you have to rely on fate, and want to maintain a friendship, in fact, you can work hard.
Do you want to maintain a precious friendship between you and your sisters? Dr. Andrea Bonior gave five suggestions for action that you could try together.
- Actually plan your next meeting time.
- Remember to express concern on a friend's birthday.
- Share fun or cool things with your friends.
- Talk to your friends about your heart and your fragile side.
- Write a letter to a friend to show that you love him.
In short, not only love, friendship also needs to be maintained by each other. You may all be busy, but if you care and value the relationship, don't forget to give each other some concrete support and strength.
Between the sisters, but also love
In the face of love, we want to maintain it, so work hard;
"Friendship" love, may not be like "love" love, as in addition, but when you are in a friendship relationship, you care about and cherish each other, sincerely hope that he is good, in fact, is a form of love.
"Love is a tough thing / But, not love / Not relatively simple / So / Let me try again"
- Lin Wanyu, Tough
At this point, do you think of someone? Or do you find that you haven't found a friend for a long time to get together and have a chat?
Sometimes we can make ourselves the active side. Don't hesitate, send a message today or call the good sister you care about!
If you're shy, sharing this article hints at her, and it's also a good choice.