If you are keen to use dating software, you may have seen a lot of such people: clean background, holding animals (cute like cats and dogs, etc.), smile brilliantly. You praise cute, while thinking of each other have a sense of responsibility and love, press like. After a chat, you find out, "Pets are friends" and "Ah, I don't have a dog." Why, we always on the dating software, put some photos that are not completely related to the real self?
Gender Force X dating dictionary to share with you new words and subtle troubles in contemporary love.
"Clearly don't have a dog, why put a picture of the dog?" If you're keen on dating apps, you've probably seen a lot of photos of boys and girls with clean backgrounds, holding animals (usually cute, such as cats, dogs, rabbits, etc.), and smiling brightly. Perhaps you will praise the pet is really cute, while thinking that the other person is really responsible and loving people, and press like. But after a chat, you find that "the photos were taken by an animal cafe", "the pet is a friend", "Ah I don't actually have a dog", and you feel disheartened.
Perhaps they didn't mean to be misunderstood. Just according to the Washington Post, the group has also recently been jokingly referred to as "Dogfishing" -- a dog (or cute pet) angler. (Same-play:"There are lots of beautiful skin bags, few smart souls": Have you ever touched sapiosexual on dating software? ) )
Pictures . . . . . . . . .
Dogs, skis, car photos: 3 seconds of dating economics, put the photos to decide who I am
In the age of attention fragmentation, everyone's attention is only a few seconds, right slip, left slip, often at the first sight of the photo decided. As a result, everyone is wondering, trying to fill a few photos with clues about who they might be, also known as "impression management."
Half a century ago, goffman, a sociologist, wrote The Self-Performance in Everyday Life, which depicts how people manage the image differencebetweens between "front desk" and "backstage." He likens everyday life to theatre, arguing that social interaction is stable because everyone plays different roles on different stages and manages impressions well.
In the background (privately) you, perhaps lazy and occasionally a little dark, but as soon as you step on the stage, change into different cultures, etiquette and relations clothes, we so through the management of different images, show different life.
In dating software, such image management strategies, the most obvious places, often appear in photos and self-referrals. Photos may include, but are not limited to,:
- Pet photos: Some people like to take photos of themselves with cute pets. In addition to really loving animals, it also brings to mind a sense of responsibility, love, and emotional delicateness.
- Tourist attractions: Love the Paris Tower, the Brooklyn Bridge, the Blue Bottle Coffee Shop in Tokyo, or snorkeling photos of Green Island, perhaps also means, to make people think they are a taste of life, interest-oriented people.
- Sexy photos: Some people like to put on sexy photos of themselves, not shy to show off good body. However, different dating software have their own anti-pornography norms, and therefore there are often sporadic incidents in which users' photos are banned.
- Luxury: Some people are also happy to show off luxury goods, famous cars, watches, luxury hotels, suggesting that material life may be better than others.
Of course, none of these image management is good or bad, but rather reflects the imagination of an "ideal partner" - if anyone thinks that they have to be rich to attract a date, he'll try to release financial lying hints in the photo.
And the next layer to think, this is actually people's imagination of the ideal self. The message that we take personal head stickers, racking their brains and looking casual, and making discretionary decisions to convey, on the one hand, we attract others by constructing our own image, and, on the other hand, we confirm to ourselves that "I want to be such a person". (Same-field plus: Love sociology: love, in fact, need a little careful machine)
Put too many photos that don't look like yourself? Beware of "situational disintegration"
However, there is also a situation known as "Context Collapse", which means that the current desk and back office, or different front desk line collapses through the gang, and has a negative impact on the person concerned. The most common examples are: chopping legs found by both sides, professors and your Facebook discovery of your truancy, or using a fake account to wash a message and get a bag.
Putting too many photos on the dating software that don't look like yourself can pose a danger, that is, when they go out, both sides find that they are not who they want, but feel hurt and cheated.
Three tips that let you find the right photo for you
1. Let your unacquainted friends pick for you
Asking an unfamiliar friend to pick a photo for you is often more effective than you want to break your head. Time magazine reports that an Australian psychological study (2017) points to such results. Researcher David White invited 100 college students to provide personal photos and pick out profiles they thought were appropriate for dating software as an "optional group." Then ask a group of strangers, the same pick these photos, as "he chose the group."
Finally, the self-selecting group and his selection group were also delivered to the public online vote, asking netizens to choose the "most attractive photo." As a result, "his group" was picked in a higher proportion. White also points out that when choosing photos, people tend to choose photos that they consider to be "nice to others" to those they really look good about. Moreover, people are often unable to see their full picture from the perspective of others when they have limited understanding of their own characteristics.
2. Clear and separate
The UK version of GQ also offers a number of photo suggestions: "Don't put a photo together" and "Background is important". Many people will take a photo, but that will lead to misunderstandings by the viewer, and it is not clear which one is you. Maybe that's one of your goals, but it's not a long-term solution to maintain a relationship. And the background is clean and clear.
3. The photos you like are the most important, but honest for
Back to photos, perhaps, the photos you like are the most important. After all, a lot of the time we spend our efforts creating a perfect self on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Tinder, not for others, but for ourselves. However, in order to avoid the situation disintegrating, or in the end still hurt themselves, or honesty.
There's a lot to discuss about photos on dating apps. For example, passing genitalia to strangers' photos of harassment. The Guardian has reported on why some people like to send pictures of genitalia to strangers. The Independent also points out that the spate of photo harassment has also made Bumble, a self-described "feminist" dating app, popular because it protects women's choice of dating and strictly bans sexual harassment.
Finally, many people may passively think that this is a face-to-face era. We invest a lot of time in self-management, and we put a lot of money and energy into making the "self" the most important commodity in the world, and perhaps you don't easily blame dogfishing as a deception. We're just trying to keep up with this huge trend and co-exist with it. (Same-side: In"Lonely Together" intimacy, do you want to be comfortable or real? ) )