Former adult actress Mia Khalifa is in the mainstream aesthetic - breast augmentation, slender waist, buttocks, making her very popular. What scares her most, however, is her body. When you grow up, you may often be dissatisfied with yourself and afraid of being criticized for your appearance. Honey, it's not your problem, it's something wrong with our society.

On September 05, 2019, former adult actor Mia Khalifa gave an exclusive interview to the BBC to share her experiences and feelings about her past performances of adult films. Mia Khalifa, who was in the AV industry at the time, was 21 years old when she was caught by staff on the street. They praised her for being beautiful and persuaded her to become a "naked model", and she seemed to sign the paper contract with a ploy.

Despite her fame in the adult film industry, generating hundreds of millions of views for the company and platforms, and millions of dollars in revenue, she was paid only $12,000 as an actress. This kind of labor and labor is not equal situation, in the adult film industry is quite common.

When the host asked if the company saw her as a complete money-making machine, Mia Khalifa nodded without hesitation.

I have the S-curve, but also have the deepest physical anxiety

Mia Khalifa's appearance and figure are in line with the mainstream aesthetic - breast augmentation, thin waist, buttocks, which also make her popular in the adult film world. What scares her most, however, is her body.

"I've been plagued by weight problems as a child. I never feel attractive, nor do I feel worthy of male attention. 」

As a result, Mia Khalifa began to lose weight, but her breasts became smaller, which made her very concerned.

"My greatest insecurities come from my chest. 」

She uses some ways to make her breasts bigger. "After I did that, I started getting male attention, and I was never used to it. 」

"I feel like I'm going to lose focus unless I keep my face and do what people ask me to do, or meet what people expect of me." 」

Mia Khalifa's physical anxiety may also occur in many women.

Looking back on your upbringing, you may have experienced or heard of how many women are criticized for their appearance. One reason is the media's portrayal of women. (Same show: If you also have physical anxiety, do not believe in advertising than in yourself)

In teaching yourself's self-study book, author Joy Magezis puts it: "The media is usually a female body from a male perspective (as an object, object), instead of presenting the woman inside the body (subject, subject). 」

On August 6th, we posted on Facebook that "a look attack you've had", and we received nearly a thousand messages from people who had experienced being criticized for their appearance. If you also want to share, welcome to chat with us.

"I think anyone can lack confidence. Whether you come from a good family or your family background is not so good. 」

I made my own decision, but I really dare not refuse

Even after exiting the adult film world, Mia Khalifa can't completely disengage from the past. Those images have been circulating in the online world, and she has no right to be removed or removed, and it is difficult to get paid or compensated accordingly. In addition, deep down in Mia Khalifa's heart, there is a great deal of trauma and stress. She says she is particularly prone to anxiety and panic when she is in public.

"I think people can see through my clothes, which gives me a deep sense of shame, and it makes me feel like I've lost all my privacy. I did lose it, too, because I could be found on Google. 」

She has come under fire for playing a woman wearing an Islamic headscarf in an adult film. In fact, in the current filming, she thinks she should refuse because it's provocative for Muslims.

"I told them (staff) word for word: "You will kill me." Mia Khalifa says, "But they just laugh." 」

At that time, to speak her mind, she felt very nervous and afraid, not to know how to continue to firmly refuse.

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From the sound to the willingness to talk, is a difficult but necessary way

"I don't see myself as a victim, I don't like that word. It was my own decisions, even though they were bad. 」

It appears to have been a cross-border move, but the scars still affect Mia Khalifa. Now, she has decided to speak out against the adult film industry, to speak out about her thoughts, and to bring to other women who have experienced the same situation as her, with the courage to speak out and face. (Recommended reading: Kang Tingyu X women fan Audrey: how long is civilization, how long the history of telling women to shut up is long)

Perhaps, you also at some point, feel uncomfortable, wrong, but you dare not say, fear is their own fuss. We want to encourage women to be brave enough to speak out and express their opinions and voices clearly.

From Mia Khalifa's personal story, we see how the social climate and gender system work in one person.

Personal is politics, physical anxiety, male gaze, inability to be brave to say "no", may be the dilemma and problem that you and I will face. May one day we truly like our bodies, not moved by criticism, or have the right and power to refuse.